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Poems

In recent years, I've posted a lot of short poems on Facebook whenever I felt like writing. Here's an extensive collection of the better ones:


~~~G~~~

A comment here, a photo there
And all those funny kitties
And you're supposed to like and share
The rants, the thoughts, the titties

No problem disappears because
You write an angry letter
This world has had enough applause
We need to do much better

~~~G~~~

I know this now
I want you
It took a while to see
And yet somehow
I want to
Although it frightens me
I know that we're
Not perfect
We're not an easy match
But when you're here
It's worth it
I have to risk that catch

~~~G~~~

Stop protecting me
I can decide what I can bear
You're neglecting me
And my needs

Yes, it's hard, but see
These are my boots, not yours to wear
It's my choice, you see
No good deeds

~~~G~~~

I miss you bad, your warmth, your body
It makes me sad that it's been days
I realize you have to study
It would be nice if there were ways
To do it here and share some kissing
Then disappear into your books
It's not just body parts I'm missing
It's not just taste and smell and looks

~~~G~~~

You want me to throw out the presents
That you gave me freely a long time ago
To kill all mementos, in essence
You loved me but really it now isn't so
A gift is a gift once it's given
And you're merely driven by anger you feel
Why should I give in to this rhythm?
You changed your mind once, and we did have a deal

You want to take back what you gave me
You said it was mine, now you want it destroyed
But I need mementos to save me
I need to recall and I know you're annoyed
The law says you're right, but why listen?
If this can be done then what else isn't safe?
There really is nothing you're risking
You can't just take back every present you gave

~~~G~~~

Oh, she was crazy alright
Completely bonkers
But there was such fire in her
Such passionate flames
And at the time
I just wanted to know
If anything could ever
Ignite a sensation like that
Inside me again
And at the time
That was what kept me
Kept me alive
Kept me going
Kept me with her
It was only much later
That I too had to learn
All flames must consume to burn

~~~G~~~

Give me your hand
Mine won't do it
Don't understand
Leave me to it

Give me a smile
Mine is broken
Leave what is vile
Left unspoken

Give yourself up
And come down here
Pass on the cup
While I drown here

~~~G~~~

Touch them any way you want
With any part of you
But don't fall in love with them
Be careful what you do

Spend the day in your own way
But please be home at night
Do whatever you must do
But baby, do it right

~~~G~~~

Life can be one crazy ride
Everyone told you but you didn't get it
Pushing all mocking aside
If you had stayed, you would surely regret it
You are the one who decides
That's how it should have been from the beginning
Struggling and picking your fights
That's how you do it, that's how you'll be winning

~~~G~~~

Old people singing and drinking
How can you stand this while sober?
Why can't this torture be over?
What on this Earth are they thinking?

Young people drinking and dancing
Aren't a pretty sight either
I'll waste my lifetime with neither
Please do excuse my shocked glancing

~~~G~~~

Silencing the media
That's how countries die
When they'll ask me "Grandpapa,
Can you tell us why?"
I won't know what else to say
Other than "We suck"
When they take free speech away
We should give a fuck

~~~G~~~

Empowerment means caring less about what people think
When others look at you and judge, your joy just shouldn't sink
Nobody else has to approve of clothes you want to wear
And when you're kissing on a train, don't mind if people stare

Empowerment means feeling good about the way you are
So good, in fact, that confidence outweighs your doubts by far
Society does plenty wrong, but this one is on you
They shouldn't have a say at all in what you wear or do

~~~G~~~

Send nudes, send trees, send landscapes
Sent pictures that you took
Or things you drew or painted
I need them for my book

If colorful or grayscale
Send me the best you've got
Don't worry, there's no hurry
Cause I still need a lot

~~~G~~~

How bad can a morning be
With you lying next to me
With kissing your beautiful shoulder
And soft, longing neck?

How much can a day go wrong
When you always come along?
I know while whatever shit happens
That you'll have my back

~~~G~~~

The knowledge hurts
Your last two words
They leave me sold
It's over
Above it all
The rain drops fall
And I feel cold
But sober

~~~G~~~

At the end of the day it's okay to be one with your grief
Don't be shy, every drop that you cry is a sign of relief
Like I said all along, you don't have to be strong every night
Once it's dark, you might make out the spark to ignite a new light

~~~G~~~

It's only hair, it's decoration
I'm not disgusted or impressed
If that's your flaming declaration
Of independence, be my guest

It's only fair to choose your own style
I wouldn't advertise a change
And I will kiss you with a broad smile
I like variety and range

~~~G~~~

So what's next?
What an endless day
Still no text
Should I walk away?
Still no sign
That you care at all
Are you mine?
Should I write or call?

~~~G~~~

People get hurt. That's what happens.
Whether you want it or not.
There is no point in avoiding
All the good people you've got.
Both of us know we're a time bomb.
Neither of us wants the blow.
Yet part of me is so hopeful.
I'd rather blow up than go.

~~~G~~~

Is love a lion?
Will it roar?
As loud and fiery as before?
Will it ignite the breaths it took?
Will it attract my every look?
Or is it subtle like a snake?
A hiss with every breath I take?
And will it silently dispel
My worries while I cannot tell
That something's happening with me?
This time, will love come quietly?

~~~G~~~

You say you won't be there for me
When darkness strikes again, you're gone
You wouldn't stay and care for me
You wouldn't stay for anyone

I've never heard that phrase before
It seems so heartless, so intense
It won't be easy to ignore
This friendship's lost its innocence

~~~G~~~

Agonizing sorrow till tomorrow
And the horror of the past
Where nothing last
Not even me

But do you see
I want this too
Till forever me and you
No doubt whatsoever, now or never

~~~G~~~

Posh, no doubt, but superficial
Not without some bland appeal
My reaction stayed initial
My erection no big deal

Beautifullest on the surface
Frosty coolness underneath
Never understood what worth is
Chills are all she could achieve

~~~G~~~

Maybe if you chose your guys
By character instead of likes
By words instead of comments
There'd be more chance of romance

Maybe if someday you stopped
To only like what's photoshopped
And talked instead of followed
You'd find a man less hollow

~~~G~~~

When I hear your moaning and your sighs
And you open wide those stunning eyes
When your lips are trembling and your gaze
Is all over me, my eyes, my face
When you whisper "baby, please don't stop"
While you're in my sheets and I'm on top
When you being close is all I feel
Then I know my love for you is real

~~~G~~~

Don't make it complicated
Don't lie to make me stay
No lie stays undebated
Be careful what you say

Don't twist the truth to test me
Because you're insecure
Why would you have to best me
To see me and be sure?

~~~G~~~

Recently I realized
I think you make me happy
Can't recall that happening
The past eleven years
I'm not sure it's happiness
I'm used to feeling crappy
Or indifferent at most
You changed that, it appears

~~~G~~~

You're close to tears
When you ask again
Why I'm changing this beautiful body you gave me
I don't know how to tell you that that's how to save me
I'm scarred by fears
And I'm scarred by men

My body's mine
It just has to be
The unspeakable things they have done to it pain me
And I'll change every last hurting spot to regain me
I will be fine
But they crippled me

~~~G~~~

What's happiness?
It's not euphoric, I recall
It might not be that loud at all
What if it's really quiet, small?
And easy to miss?
And I confess
That I have looked for fireworks
Bright, shiny moments, all these perks
But that is not how happy works
It's calm, knowing, bliss

~~~G~~~

As a kid I was told love was potent and magical
And I waited for butterfly swarms in my chest
I kept waiting and I didn't know what I had at all
Till the right girl put all of my worries to rest

As a teen I found love was a mixture of many things
If I missed her and wanted her, I was alright
Love was soaked with the ecstasy and the despair it brings
When it went, I was crying my heart out each night

So I waited for something that made me feel young again
Gave me meaning and reason to get up and out
Never thought that so many would want me to be their man
Never saw myself roaming and fooling around

Now I wonder if there can be love that's just ecstasy
If the core of the love that I've known was the pain
I'm so calm when you give all your words and your sex to me
So confusing that there might be so much to gain

~~~G~~~

No workout, too much food
This isn't going well
Not in a splendid mood
And everyone can tell
I don't know how to stop
Or where my happy face went
I used to be on top
Now I am in the basement

~~~G~~~

You're up so late
Most of your days
To deal with life's ungracious ways

You share a bed
With just your phone
Cause you can't bear to be alone

Each text you write
Is poetry
Please send your broken self to me

Type out your chest
Scream out for fears
So you can rest with silent tears

~~~G~~~

Is there another word for darkness?
I seem to use it way too often
Some days the light is but a carcass
A view the darkness still can't soften

When I wake up, it's time for dinner
There's black outside my window pane
I slept through lunch but won't get thinner
An endless night to go insane

~~~G~~~

Why can't you see what I see?
How wonderful you are
It's so goddamn frustrating
How did it get that far?

How could one single person
Believe you'd stay alone?
When you're so damn amazing
A treat to mind and bone

Why can't you just accept that
You're sexy, cute and smart?
That lots of them would want you
If you just made a start

~~~G~~~

You worry
That I've started flirting
And we've started hurting
And so you cry

I'm sorry
I wish it would matter
You do deserve better
But so do I

~~~G~~~

Not being understood
The definition of lonely
You'd keep on talking if only
The prospects were good

Not being like the rest
Is that a good or a bad trait
You feel prepared for a sad fate
Such weight on your chest

~~~G~~~

If I could only ever miss you like I miss myself
Then I could surely start each morning with your smile on my lips
If it was good enough to kiss you with a thirst for love
I'd fight my doubts each time they're dawning for the dream of a home

~~~G~~~

Are a mother and father just fighting
Worth a home without family ties?
Is it better to keep what is broken
And to listen to curses and lies?

Is the thought that you still have a home here
Worth the crying and desperate times?
Starting over or staying together -
What to choose when they both feel like crimes?

~~~G~~~

I just can't be lonely
At least so I thought
A simple excuse that
So many have bought

Some I remember
While some start to blur
I'm wondering which type
I am now to her

Observed from the outside
I did few things wrong
I tried to survive shit
I tried to stay strong

Collateral damage
The hearts that I've slain
I truly am sorry
I've caused you such pain

~~~G~~~

Who's gonna rebuild you when everything's shattered?
Who's gonna replace what's been all that you knew?
How do you get over all that's ever mattered?
How are you supposed to just know what to do?

Who knows who you are when you've never been single?
Who knows how to start to just live and have fun?
You're somehow supposed to go out and to mingle
But how do you start something you've never done?

~~~G~~~

Sometimes I fuck up and don't even notice
Sometimes I'm aware of it from the start
When we're out of luck, I want you to know this:
Good moments are rare when we are apart

I haven't been happy since I was twenty
I'm rarely myself when I'm on my own
And those who don't get me, say I have plenty
What good is my wealth when I'm all alone?

~~~G~~~

I've seen how good it can be
I've felt the ecstasy
I couldn't go back to less now if I tried

Is knowledge always handy?
Good's not enough for me
I couldn't leave what I've felt now all aside

The bar is set so high now
Not many are that tall
But how could I now accept what's just okay?

Why would I change or lie now?
That doesn't work at all
How many do really get though what I say?

~~~G~~~

Love
You've often heard of it
A big thing for so many
All your lovers made you quit
He says he'll stay but can he?
Love
It's said to feel so fine
But you're not sure you've met it
Maybe love can only shine
For those who learn to let it

~~~G~~~

You scream and you gasp
You feel a bit affected
His dick in your ass
Feels better than expected
You tell him you'll come
He keeps it up like paid for
What's painful for some
Your body just seems made for

~~~G~~~

Sweat drops from my head onto your face
I fuck you with careful, gentle pace
All the neighbors hear your rhythmic screams
I can lead your body to extremes
Palm to palm, your fingers squeeze my own
I see only you and you alone
Thrust must follow thrust while I'm on top
Trust your eyes that tell me 'Please don't stop'

~~~G~~~

How can it be wrong if both of them want it?
And why would you care; it's not about you
It isn't your place to act all affronted
It isn't your choice, whatever they do

Two people in love, or lust, or just boredom
Can choose their own way; that's simple and true
Whatever you feel, you must just ignore them
How others have sex, that's not up to you

~~~G~~~

I'm really sad about this
Though not at all surprised
Each time I cherish a kiss
It all gets compromised
I wish life wasn't that way
But I have learned to bear
The way I'm feeling today
Because I do still care

~~~G~~~

So this is it, my dear?
Familiar situation
The fact that I've been here
Can't hinder my frustration
I've seen it all before
Your pain is shared by many
Successfully ignored
By only few, if any

~~~G~~~

You look so sexy in that bra
So lovely and so tempting
Your sweat smells like a perfumed candle
Cinnamon and lime

I lie down and I look at you
My mind comfortably empty
You're almost more than I can handle
But I'll take my time

~~~G~~~

Who invented getting up?
What a jerk. So not worth it.
Hope he's up himself right now.
Off to work. You deserve it.

~~~G~~~

Kannst du denn nicht hier sein
Du süßeste von allen?
Willst du meine Tür sein?
Ich würd dich gerne knallen
Jeden Tag auf's Neue
Will ich dir versichern
Wie sehr ich mich freue
Hörst du mich nicht kichern?

~~~G~~~

I tend to be a caring person
To each their own, let's get along
But there are those who are exceptions
Those few who've really done me wrong

I wish my fate upon those people
I wish them worse than I have been
Have no intention to forgive them
They were so arrogant and mean

I hope your sister is in prison
Your grandma senile, mother dead
I hope your father's broke and bitter
I hope you're miserable and sad

Part of me thinks I shouldn't blame you
But it was you who let them act
Against us both, what we were building
I hope at least that you are racked

~~~G~~~

Does it matter how he feels?
Not to him, so why to them?
Why to anyone indeed?
Where are they when he's in need?
Not around.

Does it change a thing to know
How he's been and how he is?
Does it matter? Not one bit.
He'll stay lost in darkest shit.
Never found.

~~~G~~~

Where did my sleep go?
It used to be deep
Now I'm just resting
The best thing
I guess I can get
I regret staying up
I am tired all day
Anyway
I fell deep
But I can't fall asleep

~~~G~~~

It's Monday again
And last Friday's so far away
An endless three days
Every Friday I am okay

It's Monday again
And I wish you were in my arms
Such pointless six days
But on Friday I set alarms

~~~G~~~

How could you think, even for a second, that I don't want you around?
I was so lost and then found
And now I'm safe.

How could you say, even to yourself, that I'd rather not have you here?
You have no reason to fear
I'd misbehave

~~~G~~~

The day is almost over
What did I even do?
A lot I don't remember
And none of it with you

The days are more than pointless
And life's composed of this
Get up, lie down, repeat it
And that is all there is

~~~G~~~

Every day that dreadful place
He doesn't want to go, they're mean
You can see it on his face
He tries his best not to be seen

~~~G~~~

She cannot risk them knowing
Her insecurities
She's so afraid of showing
How beaten up she is
They wouldn't understand her
Cause no one ever did
Her only real defender
Is never to admit

~~~G~~~

My neck is stiff
Your pussy sore
I think we should
Get back for more

We start the day
By giving head
Why do they say
Romance is dead?

~~~G~~~

Dear US, dear North Korea,
Could you stop comparing dicks?
Europe's been quite peaceful lately
Don't throw A-bombs in the mix

Look, I know we all got issues
It's not easy to get by
But despite the constant nagging
Most of us don't want to die

~~~G~~~

My feet are cold
The rest is sweaty
I'm feeble, old
And yet so ready
Can barely see
Or hear them ring
Bring it to me
The hot, good thing

(presumably a poem about pizza)

~~~G~~~

It's a strange day, isn't it?
At least it feels strange to me
Wish that I was pleased with it
But I don't know how to be
It's the sunlight or the air
They both seem a bit surreal
Could be me though, to be fair
I don't like the way I feel

~~~G~~~

I want to love again
The type that lasts
The whole grand hurricane
I want it fast
I want to trust again
With all my heart
Give in to lust again
Right from the start
And if it doesn't stay
As usually
I hope we'll be okay
Both you and me

~~~G~~~

I worship you
Kneeling in front of those perfect proportions
Beautiful altar, no single distortion
Kissing your lips and the lube that they're sweating
Sighing a prayer for those you won't let in
My heart is true
I worship you

~~~G~~~

It hurts to see you happy
Though I wish you happiness
The way you're smiling at me
Makes me feel like shit and less
It hurts to know that someone
Fills what used to be my place
I wish you luck, but come one,
Please stop smiling to my face

~~~G~~~

I know it's never easy to have a worried mind
What you expect to happen
Is not the thing you find
It's not just all those people that disappoint your heart
Your own misguided actions
Are tearing you apart
And I can see your struggle and how you start to feel
You're doing much more damage
Than you could ever heal
Don't worry when your Ego and you are out of touch
When you can't seem to love you
I'll love you twice as much

~~~G~~~

He sucks, that's all that's to it
Tried to be good, but screw it
Again he hurt the wrong one
So stupid on the long run
He sucks, no way around it
Smashed luck each time he found it
And why, he doesn't get it
He knew he would regret it

~~~G~~~

Liking you comes so easy
I am not even trying
Still it's all that I do all day long

And I know it sounds cheesy
But there's just no denying
How my feelings for you are quite strong

~~~G~~~

I tried to get you off my mind, I really did
I fucked each woman I could find, still felt like shit
Tried to convince myself you're not the only one
My heart and dick ain't all you've got, the list goes on
And how I wish that it was true, that they're the same
Of course I only thought of you each time I came
And I felt bad for screwing them and wanting you
But in the end that's who I am, what can I do?

~~~G~~~

Fucked up big time again
What was I even thinking?
And I'm not even drinking
I'm not that kind of man

I hurt her, and for what?
Some stupid, worthless action
When her intense affection
Is all I need and got

~~~G~~~

Isn't she supposed to be beautiful?
Isn't she supposed to be good?
Shouldn't she be told that she's wonderful?
Shouldn't this all be understood?

How can she be questioning what you see?
How was she not told of her shine?
How her beauty just keeps on blinding me
I'd have told her if she were mine

~~~G~~~

I still can't bear to see
How you grin in every post
And what troubles me the most
Is how you got over me

I still can't comprehend
How you simply walked away
How you wouldn't even say
Why you forced our thing to end

~~~G~~~

Pissed off by your stupidity
I thought you were a friend to me
In any case, I liked you much
Your silly words, your gentle touch
I don't call everyone a friend
And I am crushed when these things end
But you're too immature and proud
It's sad that that's what you're about

~~~G~~~

Don't put on makeup when we meet
I want to see an honest you
From messed-up hair to smelly feet
I want to know that you are true

Don't put on lipstick when you're here
Your lips are perfect as they are
Leave insecurities and fear
Outside the door; they've come too far

~~~G~~~

Breathe, just breathe
Don't panic
What the fuck
Don't trust in your bad luck

Wait, just wait
And hold your thoughts in check
Don't speculate, lay back
And breathe

~~~G~~~

Lie down, lie still
And let my mouth explore you
Enjoy the chill
Of what is right before you

I've freed your chest
From all this needless fashion
To kiss your breast
With tenderness and passion

Move up your arm
I'll pin it to the mattress
I'll do no harm
Your hand's just not what matters

Relax your thighs
And let me dive between them
Your breath, your sighs
It's clear that I have seen them

You're wet, I know
I kiss your shaking waist too
I get down low
Your scent tells me to taste you

~~~G~~~

You're scared
He's too good to be real
And you don't want to feel
What he's found inside you

You thought
You could never be shown
What's in movies alone
But he says it's not true

What now
How did he gain your trust?
It's so hard to adjust
To this scary new way

Somehow
Though you're sure it can't be
He just smiles knowingly
And it might be okay

~~~G~~~

I can't really say what's worse
Missing someone or missing you
I know that they're both a curse
And there's little that I can do

With you it is more intense
While with someone it's vague and slow
I'm trying to make some sense
Of the place where my daydreams go

~~~G~~~

I shouldn't be missing you
I shouldn't try kissing you
I shouldn't rhyme miss with kiss
But I'm too confused for this

I shouldn't go check my mail
Excitement can only fail
Fail me and, far worse, fail you
But there's nothing I can do

~~~G~~~

It's true I'm good with words
But my words are true as well
Don't doubt me, cause it hurts
And I know that you can tell

It's true we've only met
But I've tasted you and seen
The highs to which you get
Where so long ago I've been

So please don't be so mean
To yourself, because I know
The places that I've seen
You I really want to show

~~~G~~~

I miss you lying close
Pressing your face against my shoulder
The subtle scent of rose
Making me dream of when I'm older
I miss your pretty smile
Beautiful person, soft vendetta
Lie with me for a while
You have a chance to make me better

~~~G~~~

Thank you for your strong responses
For your unbelieving smiles
First you thought my words were nonsense
Now you'd follow me for miles

Thank you for the way you shivered
When I first caressed your neck
The emotions you delivered
Were beyond what I expect

~~~G~~~

I cut my hair because you liked it
I guess that's just what people do
When they are desperate or blue
Well, you lost yours, I'm losing my shit
Guess you were less than I deserve
But still a friend for what it's worth

~~~G~~~

How cheap this is of you
To run when I am mad
When we could talk instead
But that you'd never do

You never could admit
You're wrong and immature
So others must endure
You treating them like shit

~~~G~~~

Für das was du suchst müsst ich dich kennen
Nicht nur in meiner Fantasie
Doch wär es so schlimm, wenn wir uns trennen?
Es gibt ja keine Garantie
Ist es nicht besser, sich zu beschenken
Mit einem Sommer voll Genuss
Anstatt eine Zukunft tot zu denken
Die jeder selbst erkunden muss?

Schau, ich bin nicht glücklich ganz alleine
Und das muss auch kein Mensch verstehn
Das Beste an mir ist wie ich meine
Was nur besondre Menschen sehn
Die Gabe einander zu verwöhnen
Mit Leib und Seele da zu sein
Nicht nur wenns um Schweiß geht, Lust und Stöhnen
Fürs Erste zu zweit sein, nicht allein

~~~G~~~

Weren't you supposed to make me better?
Wasn't I supposed to do the same to you?
Shouldn't we fulfill this to the letter?
Shouldn't I be more than just a game to you?

Weren't we supposed to fight together
Rather than on each end of the battlefield?
Weren't all my worries meant to matter?
Wasn't love supposed to be a metal shield?

Shouldn't you and I accept each other?
Shouldn't you be there whenever I'm afraid?
Shouldn't we be close like child and mother?
Shouldn't there be more than sometimes getting laid?

~~~G~~~

I'm mad at you because you're still not here
I've had a few, and I'm not talking beer
I've saved myself so I could be with you
I've gone through hell, in fact I always do

I'm really pissed because you're still away
Too much we've missed, it's getting more each day
And I don't know what's keeping you so long
And time will show if I can keep me strong

~~~G~~~

I thought you were better
I thought you were good
But what does it matter?
Not quite what it should
I thought you would get me
I thought you were nice
I drowned and you let me
Not touching the ice

~~~G~~~

I've asked you countless times
To give me something good
And everytime you did
But never what I asked you for

So when you count my crimes
I'm thinking that you should
Be ready to admit
You could have shown another door

~~~G~~~

She says that she might soon be dead
You plan to tell her that she won't?
If you're about to say that, don't!
You better trust her word instead

~~~G~~~

Weird weird sex
Unexpected
But protected
Over quickly
And the mattress
Like my fat ass
Wet and sticky

~~~G~~~

The guy is a player, by circumstance, not by choice
Be careful to judge him, he has a heart and a voice
Your own made-up labels, you know they're rarely a fit
When knowledge is lacking, everyone tends to talk shit

~~~G~~~

Ich hätte so viel zu geben
So viel Support und Zärtlichkeit
Aufmerksamkeit und so viel Zeit
Die Hälfte von meinem Leben

Es gäb so viel was ich könnte
Weiß wie man küsst voll Sinnlichkeit
Mein ganzer Körper wär bereit
Wenn man ihm etwas Zeit gönnte

Ich bin was viele erhoffen
Kommuniziere, höre zu
Ein Wir anstatt ein Ich und Du
Ließ wenig Wünsche dir offen

Ließ dich vor Leidenschaft glühen
Erforschten uns're Lust zu zweit
Wär dir ein Freund auf alle Zeit
Jedoch du lässt mich verblühen

~~~G~~~

"Happiness is a choice"
What a self-righteous thing to say
These damn words, they still sting today
And I just want to scream
At the top of my voice
Tell you "No, you don't feel the same"
Tell you "I do not need your blame"
I'm much worse than I seem

"We all have shitty days"
How insensitive you can be
How outrageous to say to me
That it's all in my head
Well, of course that's the case
But it's killing me anyway
If to you that is all okay
Don't dare moarn once I'm dead

~~~G~~~

They died because of you
They died because you didn't see them
Denied the pain it was to be them
And even told them what to do
And told them how to feel
And said it wasn't devastating
That there was cause for celebrating
That all their ache was no big deal
And you'll deny it's true
You'll say you never could have known it
If they were hurt, they should have shown it
But still they died because of you

~~~G~~~

They didn't die because of you
It had with them alone to do
And with their lives, and with their choices
And all those silent nagging voices
And with the paths that they were walking
The lack of action, lack of talking
The overwhelming disillusion
With seeing clear or with confusion
With how they thought they should be looking
And with neglect or overcooking
With feeling helpless, weak, unworthy
Or too annoying, boring, curvy
Too slutty, prudish, left alone
And too far gone to weep or moan
If there was nothing you could do
They didn't die because of you

~~~G~~~

All this frustration
So few ways to end it
It's so loud today
But no one's really screaming
The medication
As I understand it
Scares the cloud away
But doesn't offer meaning

~~~G~~~

Whatever I touch
Dissolves into ash
If I care too much
I know it will crash

Whatever I do
I tear things apart
When my life is through
I'll only be art

~~~G~~~

Surely dying is not the worst choice
Life's almost begging for termination
Always crying with barely a voice
I just can't stand any more frustration

Surely people would not understand
They'd say it's selfish to pull the trigger
But at least it would be in my hand
And all the pain here is so much bigger

~~~G~~~

I wanna throw up
All the waiting and loneliness
All the games and the pointlessness
It's long been enough

How can I grow up
When there's nothing I'll ever reach
Nothing worthy that I can teach
I'll never be tough

~~~G~~~

How can you ask me to trust you
How can you think that's okay
When I have trusted too often
And every time had to pay

How can you think I'll believe you
When I've been lied to before
How can you ask me to do this
These doubts I cannot ignore

~~~G~~~

No, this time I will not do it
I've made this mistake before
And unless you force me to it
I won't do it anymore

~~~G~~~

I'm not a fair-weather friend
There's just no way I could be
Because you know in the end
There's no fair weather for me

I'm not just there when you shine
I'm not just there when you rain
Within this life that is mine
There's understanding of pain

~~~G~~~

Well, what can you expect
After all that you've seen
No one's conscience is clean
No one's spine is erect

Some will say what they mean
Some say nothing at all
None deserve to stand tall
Most just manage to lean

~~~G~~~

Why even bother? Why even live?
One way or another, life takes and I give
Why still take showers? Why even try?
Each day's endless hours can't seem to go by

~~~G~~~

I've seen the end of the road
It's not spectacular at all
It's such small steps that make you fall
Into the night

So yes, I can understand
What you think only you can feel
To me it's once been just as real
But I'm alright

~~~G~~~

Depression, failure, loneliness.
A perfect combination.
All actions, one can only guess,
Will lead to more frustration.

Depression, crying, feeling lost.
Despair and no illusions.
Life comes at much too high a cost
And change is self-delusion.

~~~G~~~

You're getting less affectionate
I feel the slightest changes
And dealing with rejection is
No strength of mine per se
There's someone else, I know it well
It feels as if we're strangers
I guess that only time can tell
If we will be okay

~~~G~~~

It's way too hot outside
I get up in the afternoon
The end of day can't come too soon
I stay inside and hide

When I get back to sleep
I try to blend in with the night
Where nobody can see me fight
Or notice how I weep

~~~G~~~

She's always fantasized about
How she would make her last day great
One final time alive and loud
For consequences way too late

She's planned it, thought the whole day through
How she would reach her final breath
But in the end all she will do
Is lie around and wait for death

~~~G~~~

I'm told that beer tastes just like piss
Smells like it too
It must be true
Then why are they still drinking this?
So weird to me
A mystery

~~~G~~~

Did you insult me to make me hate you?
To keep us distant, not just apart?
To guide my steps just like loss or fate do?
To make new room in this worn-out heart?

~~~G~~~

Why does a girl with perfect shape
Have "plus size" printed on her shirts?
Why does a guy consumed by ache
Have to pretend that nothing hurts?
Why do they say you'll never need
Another soul to be okay?
Why is this all still going on?
Why is this still a thing today?

~~~G~~~

I haven't seen your face in years
And hope I never will
I'd hate you if I could
You brought anxiety and tears
Of which I suffer still
You fucked me up for good

But if you came to me tonight
I guess I'd sleep with you
Ignoring our past
I've had enough of our fight
Love was so deep with you
But still it couldn't last

~~~G~~~

I've made mistakes
But not enough
To justify you leaving
Do what it takes
For those you love
Or else there will be grieving

~~~G~~~

I can't afford dignity
I'd beg you to eat with me
Tonight, any given day
I'd beg if it meant you'd stay

~~~G~~~

Getting out of bed for two hours is enough, right?
Getting out at all can sometimes be such a tough fight
Getting what you want is a hope that you have buried
Getting out of here, getting rich and getting married

~~~G~~~

You can't decide which ones are worse
The working days, a constant curse
The empty weekends, time to kill
They might be worse to deal with still

~~~G~~~

Tortured all day
Asking myself what you're doing
Needless to say
I do not care who you're screwing
Don't need a name
I see their bodies quite clearly
They're all the same
Point is that you are not near me

~~~G~~~

Oh how I wish I wanted you
I want to want you so bad
I know that thought has haunted you
I know I'm making you sad

Oh how I wish I'd fall for you
We've got so much going on
I'd love to give my all for you
If only you were the one

~~~G~~~

There's poetry in everything
It's not that hard to find in spring
You barely need to look around
There's plenty lying on the ground

There's footprints, flowers, cigarets
Half chewed up baseballs left by pets
There's plastic bags and condoms (yuck!)
Because, let's face it, people suck

~~~G~~~

A monkey met a pig one day
And asked the pig, "Are you okay?"
Pig wasn't really in the mood
It found the question rather rude

~~~G~~~

I just want out, but don't know where
And if I did, I would be there
There's nothing here that keeps alive
I'd leave it gladly to survive
There isn't much that I would lose
But I stay here 'cause there's no use
I can't outrun my agony
My demons live inside of me
And where I go, they follow too
That's why I might not make it through

~~~G~~~

Would be fun to end my life
See what it does to those who never
Find the time to spend with me
They should feel guilty till forever

I showed all the signs there are
No one can say they didn't see it
If it really fucks them up
Thats's what they sowed and reaped, believe it

~~~G~~~

When her last day came
She asked seven friends
To meet her and lend her some time

They all said the same
And in their defense
A full schedule isn't a crime

Her schedule was blank
And had been for days
So she was alone with her mind

The pills that she drank
Brought her to a place,
We only can hope, less unkind

~~~G~~~

It seems again like
Nobody wants to
Give you their time or more
Every day's black and
Nobody wants you
Just like it's been before

~~~G~~~

You crave my dick
Then dig my grave
You change without a warning

The goods you had
The heart I gave
It didn't last till morning

~~~G~~~

You get paid for what should be pleasure
Getting laid, but it's not your leisure
You undress before I can do it
I would help, but you beat me to it
You're not wet and it's irritating
It's just work, which I find frustrating
When we touch, it's just not arousing
I paid much for some pussy browsing

~~~G~~~

Tears, what are you waiting for?
Here's another cause for you
Cause it's you I'm praying for
For what else is there to do?

~~~G~~~

First you say yes
Then you disappear
It causes stress
Were you really here?

First you agree
Then you're simply gone
Say, is it me
Or what's going on?

~~~G~~~

Life could have been easy
But that's not inspiring
An easy life won't make you sensitive

Despair's not beneath me
And life's pretty tiring
It's all in a way quite compensative

~~~G~~~

Another lonely night without you
And I try not to think about you
Of course that's pointless and pathetic
So I stay restless and erratic

~~~G~~~

A boy met a man and he asked him to smile
The man found this odd, so he pondered a while
While he was still thinking, the boy moved along
And smiled for he thought all the thinking was wrong

~~~G~~~

You always have to do things by yourself
I don't know who you think you must convince
I guess that you failed once and ever since
You never let another person help

~~~G~~~

DIE WARE LIEBE

So viele suchen
Die Ware Liebe
Die sie dann buchen
Für ihre Triebe
Und was sie finden
Sind leere Hüllen
Die sie mit blinden
Begehren füllen

~~~G~~~

Another pair of breasts revealed
Her motivations still concealed
Another belly touching mine
My hands run down another spine
Another kiss, another taste
Another heart will go to waste
Another moan, another sigh
Another dawning rushed good-bye

~~~G~~~

Again I'm missing the light
I'm stretching out every night
I won't get up before noon
The day still comes way too soon

~~~G~~~

When she loves, she loves completely
I can see it in her look
More than in the way she treats me
She just reads me like a book

When we kiss, it's pure perfection
How I take her breath away
Every move shows her affection
Every look says That's the way

~~~G~~~

Do you still think of me sometimes
And of the pain I caused you years ago
Back when you thought you could be mine
And had to hear me say It isn't so

Do you recall the fun we had
And how I tasted, how I made you laugh
Out in the grass and in my bed
While we both thought we were enough

I wish you could see
How it's always me
How I destroy the things I need
Not out of greed but of despair

I hope that you know
When I let you go
I was too broken, down and low
It doesn't mean I didn't care

~~~G~~~

You and I, we were almost the same
At least in our mistakes
It seems that's not what it takes
And today all I know is your name

~~~G~~~

We all make bad choices, believe me, we do
And not that it matters, but I've made a few
Sometimes I could tell that my choice would be bad
Ignoring the voices, I still went ahead

What I regret most is the pain that I caused
So now you might ask me why I never paused
If I knew my choices would cause me to lose
The truth is, sometimes there's just one way to choose

~~~G~~~

The way you love
It's an acquired taste
You make us fly with haste
No time for doubt

We're not enough
No one will ever do
And what we had with you
We'll die without

~~~G~~~

One day you'll die
And it will all have been for nothing
Laugh now or cry
Be who you are, a jerk or loving
One day you'll go
And then this Earth will soon forget it
Feel high or low
Once you are gone, you won't regret it

~~~G~~~

You're sitting on the couch next to me
And you're breaking down completely
You're one small lump of pure misery
And I'm just the same, believe me

This time I won't be comforting you
Worse yet, I will leave you broken
The choice I made, I must see it through
With so many things unspoken

~~~G~~~

I see so much of me in you
I wonder if you see it too
You tell me things I've often said
Share with me thoughts I've often had
But we are different all the same
Not just in looks, in age or name
Some of the things you do I mind
Still what we have is hard to find

~~~G~~~

I don't know if that's important
But you made me laugh a lot
And since life is all but pleasant
Maybe laughing's all I've got

I don't know if you agree here
But I think we are a fit
You don't always have to be here
But you help me deal with shit

~~~G~~~

To hold someone who loves it
And feels calmed down by my touch
To help them face life's rough shit
My God, I miss it so much

~~~G~~~

I like you, but not in that way
I'm sorry you thought I did
I'm sorry I caused a bad day
I'm sorry you feel like shit

I like you like I like chocolate
But that's all there is to that
You wish now that we had not met
I'm sorry I caused regret

~~~G~~~

What if we waste all we've got while we're waiting to live?
What if all life will give us is this?
If what we want is a wonder, not more than a myth
What's the point? We can't change what we miss.

~~~G~~~

We're much alike, you and I
Your day is sad and I cry
Your happy face makes me smile
And I'm okay for a while

We're much alike, me and you
You love the things that I do
And I despise what you hate
If it exists, this is fate

~~~G~~~

America first
But why do we follow
America's thirst
And lifestyle so hollow?
There's nothing much there
The world should admire
This isn't a state
To which to aspire
The States used to be
A great inspiration
But now seem to me
A pitiful nation
There's always some war
The water's unhealthy
I would expect more
From nations that wealthy
Good people with jobs
Can't go to the dentist
The school system robs
The kids of their chances
The problems at large
They seem twice as bitter
When someone in charge
Is married to Twitter

~~~G~~~

I don't know many women without those scars
But they usually don't seek the spotlight
I know silence is deadly as guns or cars
Words are meaningful, that much you've got right
You just sound like you think that it's only you
I must stop you right there, 'cause that's nonsense
If you say we must talk about things, that's true
But I don't want more deaths on my conscience
It's too much if you tell everyone you see
How you're cutting yourself on the forearm
And no matter how eager you seem to be
You're not helping, you're just causing more harm

~~~G~~~

Passive aggressive
And actively passive
He's busy with nothing
I don't think he loves it

Quit so impulsive
Impatiently quiet
He's longing for sugar
But he's on a diet

~~~G~~~

Oh how I loved loving you
How I loved loving someone
Waking up next to a body
That wouldn't want to be anyplace else
Kissing lips so damn familiar
Like nothing else in the world tastes or smells

It didn't have to be you
It just had to be someone
Who would know me like you knew me
Inside and out like the back of their hand
Who would know how I was feeling
Who wouldn't want me as much as demand

~~~G~~~

Disappointment left and right
It's alright, I've learned to stand it
Parts of me will still defend it
Moving on, it's out of sight

Broken promises and dreams
It all seems so underwhelming
All these friend-ships I've been helming
Couldn't stand against the streams

~~~G~~~

You blame the world for your failures
Which I'm supposed to ignore
I'll play the scapegoat to save us
From moods I know could be more

I'm not immune to your beatings
I'm not convinced I should be
But I hold still while believing
That you'll be grateful for me

~~~G~~~

Sixteen, troubled, raped
Desperate, expecting
If her parents knew
There'd be no protecting
Can't just run away
Where would she be going?
She's prepared to jump
Final tears are flowing
No, she won't give birth
To this monster's semen
How is this pro life?
She must kill this demon

~~~G~~~

I hate the change without a Why
We used to hug to say good-bye
Now it's just kisses left and right
No more embrace, no holding tight

And I don't know what caused the change
But it feels painful, it's so strange
I thought that we had something there
Now it has moved without a Where

~~~G~~~

Hold my heart, hold me hostage
Don't hold on to the past
Give them reasons to gossip
Give me something that lasts

~~~G~~~

It's slippery outside
The stairway is a slide
It's fun to watch the masses
They all land on their asses

~~~G~~~

Your soft pink lips are
Intoxicating
You're raising my bar
It's liberating
The way you taste is
Like liquid pleasure
It's such a soft kiss
But full of pressure
I know that you tease
You can afford it
Oh show me more please
You'll be rewarded

~~~G~~~

Far too long
You've been strong
For whatever that means
I could be wrong but it seems
You're moving on

Day by day
On your way
You've been trying to flee
But I can say that to me
You seem okay

~~~G~~~

Swallow pain
What's to gain?
Who will say you're brave?
No one knows
What you chose
Or how much you gave

~~~G~~~

Nothing to look forward to
Glad when it's all over
Others have a drink or two
I am always sober
Don't know how they're doing it
Those who seem to make it
I'm so done with feeling shit
Way too down to fake it

~~~G~~~

We all have our demons
And sometimes they act
That's rarely a good thing
And that's just a fact

They make us do things that
Are less than okay
To someone who thinks that
We're always that way

~~~G~~~

It's quite amazing
Much like a daydream
That's come to stay

And since we're dating
I'm celebrating
Each night and day

~~~G~~~

Put some tape on my mouth
Put a collar to my throat
Make me kneel or make me crouch
And be gentle

Stroke my hair with your palm
Give me words that I will quote
Wait in silence till I'm calm
Sentimental

Put your pressure on me
Float my flesh with fresh new ache
Make me feel you, let me be
Yours completely

Put my shell to the test
But make sure that I won't break
That this life that tries its best
Can't defeat me

~~~G~~~

Tie me up and tell me to be still
Let my body open to your will
Spread my legs and enter me so deep
Pull my hair, leave scratches, make me weep

Tie my hands together, part my lips
Then command my thighs around your hips
Make me watch in silence every thrust
Till I'm filled with proof of our lust

~~~G~~~

Where is the light?
It's so dark tonight
It's supposed to be bright
Is it not?

And it's hot for December
So I barely remember
All the snow we had got
Long ago

~~~G~~~

What they want from you is a lot
And everyone in their own unique way
They all ask for more than you've got
And everyone thinks their needs are okay
If you really were what they thought
Wouldn't it seem like you're easy to find
If you were, you'd surely get caught
Or everyone's either stupid or blind

~~~G~~~

You taste so much better than others
Your love drops, your breath and your sweat
And I couldn't help being thirsty
And craving your taste since we met

You love so much better than they do
Your body does things they don't know
It answers the calls of my movements
If gentle or hard, fast or slow

Without even trying you're better
But that doesn't matter today
God knows that I've met you too often
And I know that I'll be okay

~~~G~~~

I won't hold you anymore
Because what for?
Why would I try to catch you
When you jump again?
Why would I try to dry your cheek
Why would I speak
To you at all?
I'll let you fall this time
I'll let you fall

~~~G~~~

Loving you is not the way
I will have to stop today
Rip my heart out, nice and clean
Then unsee the things I've seen
I'll forget you're beautiful
No regret, we're through, it's cool
I'll forget the awesome sex
File you under "awful ex"
Then I'll smile again and say
"I stopped loving you today"

~~~G~~~

Time's flying by, and still the future won't come nearer
Hard as you try, you cannot get your visions clearer
Constantly told that you've got time, though luck has been slow
You're feeling old and you're afraid you missed your window

~~~G~~~

It's okay to fail
Cause we all do it frequently
It's okay to bail
If there's a place you need to be
It's okay to lose
To feel like you might go insane
It's okay to choose
The thing you know will bring you pain
It's okay to talk
When others think that you're a bore
It's okay to walk
Where no one's ever gone before
It's okay to weep
When you are desperate or sick
When the pain goes deep
You are allowed to be a dick

~~~G~~~

Right, I almost forgot
It's supposed to be my fault
When it really is not
You're delusional

This is just what you do
You keep launching your assaults
Till we can't be with you
So you lose it all

~~~G~~~

He left you
You're broken
He didn't even say why
Your pleas stay
Unspoken
Put on your sweatpants and cry
Lie with me
That's alright
I won't be talking at all
I'll listen
And tonight
You are allowed to feel small

~~~G~~~

Her fingernails are black
Small piercing in her nose
She's bringing gothic back
But she's not one of those
She's playing with her hair
Her smile so absent-minded
It must be pleasant there
The place she went to find it
The thing that we all need
That real life rarely gives us
Her dreams and longings lead
That's why she's barely with us

~~~G~~~

Idiots, idiots everywhere!
I can't take care of everything
They act like kids
Embarrassing
And I'm supposed to make them think
It's shattering
I'm done, take care
Start being fair
Be nice and share
Admit right there you're idiots
Idiots everywhere!

~~~G~~~

They're all too loud, too much, too many
You need your people few, if any
They're noisy, violent and nosy
It's suffocating, all but cozy
A subway ride is hard to handle
You're such a weak, small light, a candle
The world is stormy, you can't take it
You're petrified now, you can't fake it
Your smile is icy, steps all stiff now
You feel like jumping off a cliff now
Your chest is tightening, you're crying
At least you think you are, you're trying
The crowd is way too much, too busy
You run, you stop, you breathe, all dizzy

~~~G~~~

It doesn't matter if I love you
Or if I miss you every night
If every day is lost without you
If only you could shed some light
It doesn't matter if I think that
You're still amazing, beautiful
The way you move me is no secret
You broke my trust, you broke the rule

~~~G~~~

I'm done with your abuse
I won't take any further blame
There's nothing left to lose
And love is no whodunit game

Too much I've understood
You'll get no understanding now
Though much of it was good
My time with you must end somehow

You may not wish me harm
But you're destructive in your ways
Your sweetness and your charm
Won't violate my mind these days

~~~G~~~

"Fuck," you mouth, and I agree
You're breathless, sweaty, just like me
A hickey on your naked breast
We were busy, now we rest

"Fuck," I think, I meet your look
Both lying on the bed we shook
"I feel like falling," you explain
"And I just met you. It's insane."

But while my body needs a break
I feel the longing, almost ache
"I'm falling too," I say at last
I've never been in love this fast

~~~G~~~

You're more than a hottie
But less than my missis
Your juvenile body
Your soft, longing kisses
Your taste captivating
Your moves full of passion
When we're copulating
It's art more than fashion
You're vibrantly beaming
I'm lost in your pupils
So hot when you're screaming
My Goddess, my blue pills

~~~G~~~

I see more than you think
I hear more than you want me to
If I'm back on the brink
It's because of you

You won't understand why
You don't hear when you're hurting me
Why you won't see me cry
Though you burden me

~~~G~~~

Never in my life have I met a guy with so much pride
Never once before have I seen such basic things denied
Never have I though that a face so nice could make me sick
Never in my life have I met a clever mind so thick

Never did I know what it's like to feel all left alone
When you're faced with words thrown at you in such a judging tone
Here I stand unarmed staring with my mouth all open wide
Never in my life have I met a guy with so much pride

~~~G~~~

How beautiful I was when he left me
As if I was discovered anew
For far too long his presence depressed me
Now I can stretch my legs and I do

How beautiful to live in the moment
And never compromise me again
I've walked my miles of silent condonement
No more will I hold back for a man

~~~G~~~

He may not be my future but at least he's not the past
He's none of those who crippled me with memories that last
He's not the man who broke my heart again to prove a point
He's not the one who kept me when we long were out of joint

We may not last forever but at least we're good for now
At least when I'll remember him, it will be good somehow
We're not the perfect couple and we're not a perfect fit
But in the end what counts is he won't make me feel like shit

~~~G~~~

Twisting reality
Some people's specialty
Always ignoring
The true or the boring
Outright profanity
Hides insecurity
Though they deserve it
The fight isn't worth it

~~~G~~~

I changed my sheets today
Because they shouldn't smell like you
For weeks you've been away
And this is what I have to do
I think it's fair to say
That you've fucked up my trust for good
And I will be okay
Just like we both knew that I would

~~~G~~~

I don't want to think about
How your perfect, gentle lips
Caress another person's body now
In my head I scream and shout
While I'm silent to the world that has never felt your kiss

I'm not ready to admit
How your soft, and childlike skin
Could make me feel so much alive somehow
How today I feel like shit
While I'm smiling to the world that can't give me what I miss

~~~G~~~

Now, this one's about you
The last one was not
I'd be dead without you
Thank God I was caught
I no longer need you
But I like you lots
What madness could lead you
To think those my thoughts?
Why would you believe that
You don't turn me on?
Why don't you conceive that
When we're one on one?
I write 'cause I love it
Or need it, I guess
But I'm not above shit
Creating a mess
I'm sorry I caused you
Frustration or pain
It wasn't about you
I'm sorry again

~~~G~~~

Damn, I miss those mornings
When I had to get up
But could steal a few extra minutes
Under the blanket with you
You would still be sleeping
Both so soft and so warm
And I'd hold you so close, so gently
That's all I'm longing to do

~~~G~~~

I know, I know, I know
I shouldn't be upset
I knew it had to go
And this is what I get

I know it's only fair
And I should not complain
How much you hope or care
Some states just can't remain

~~~G~~~

I wish I liked the way you taste and smell
And that is something I could never tell
Cause no one wants to be the one
Who doesn't taste good

One look at you, one word, one simple touch
Should be enough to make me want too much
And all it takes to get me high
The way your taste should

~~~G~~~

Although your body wasn't perfect
You had this aura full of sex
Your most experienced of movements
Made you intense and so complex

You loved your life the way you lived it
With pleasure always on your mind
You pushed my body to its limits
In ways most people never find

You were no model, were no princess
You were a Goddess in your ranks
You blew my mind, you blew my body
And screamed and trembled to my Thanks

~~~G~~~

Binge eating, binge thinking
Thank God I'm not drinking
If I was a drinker
I'd sink to my grave

Binge sleeping, binge speaking
My voice close to shrieking
Can't lower my guard but
It's hard to behave

~~~G~~~

You're a parasite
Living off my life
And I eat for two
Fighting to survive
You're a parasite
When my organs spin
It's because they're gone
You're beneath my skin
You're a parasite
Living off my flesh
Living off my time
While I'm strong and fresh
When I'm hollowed out
I'll be left for dead
And another host
Will be loved instead

~~~G~~~

My toes touch your legs under the blanket
Your focus is on my TV
I hope for a signal that I can't get
Your legs are not reaching for me

I've tried everything that I can think of
Except for just speaking out loud
My throat won't produce more than a thin cough
Tonight I will end up without

~~~G~~~

You're pretty and you know it
You show it to your fans
The online world's your kingdom
It bows to your demands

Your face is your big asset
Your skinny hips don't hurt
To get the things you ask for
You barely need to flirt

Though no one could imagine
You're terrified at night
Your nightmares show a future
Without your pretty sight

~~~G~~~

I close my eyes
I'm waiting
I'm waiting for your lips

It's all been lies
I hate it
The gambler lost his chips

I take a breath
I miss you
Your perfume in the air

A peaceful death
To kiss you
To act like you still care

~~~G~~~

There's snow in the air
Melting before it hits the ground
There's beauty right there
Dying before it can be found

I want to reach out
But I would melt it just the same
I'm longing to shout
But have to bottle up your blame

~~~G~~~

I am staring at the ceiling
LED lights hurt my eyes
I don't know what I am feeling
And it's really no surprise
That I'm empty and imploding
That I'm scared of life as such
That my lifelines are corroding
That it's all too loud, too much
Then a hand comes to my sight field
And I'm sheltered from the glare
As your fingers form a tight shield
And they intercept my stare
You just look at me in silence
Then say, "Honey, you are home"
And I know that with your guidance
I will never have to roam

~~~G~~~

I don't feel loved, nor am I wanted
Please stop assuring me I am
I know I'm nice, I know you like me
That's not enough

I feel so lonely and so ugly
And I don't care if you agree
I wish that someone good could drug me
With all their love

~~~G~~~

Play all you want with my heart, with my mind, with my lungs, with your tongue, with my patience.
Play with your toy, stupid boy, mindless joy, mind less coy, more made up, more sensations.
Play with my thoughts, with my words, if it hurts, turn me off, turn me in, turn me over.
Pray that I'll never be clean, you're so mean, I'll get back, I'll attack once I'm sober.

~~~G~~~

Please just tell me how to live
And I don't mean contentwise
Show me how to be alive
Not how to spend it

I know something's gotta give
Me or life, it's no surprise
Let a better time arrive
Or please just end it

~~~G~~~

I remember
How they put me down
Smashed me with their crown
Watched me crawl

And you let them
Let them lie to you
Let me die for you
Watched me fall

~~~G~~~

Lasagna's in the oven and cake is in the fridge
I'm really looking forward, but don't quite know to which
Weird people think that eating's a necessary task
For me a decent meal is almost too much to ask

~~~G~~~

I ask myself, my mind, my memory
To list the conquests that I caught
Can I recall who made me carefree
And played a necessary part?

As for today, I'm done with dating
I'm contemplating things I thought
I'm done with frust- or overrating
The ones who won my worn-out heart

~~~G~~~

I wish life was somewhat better
I don't even know how
Then again, it wouldn't matter
If I knew

I wish I would cease to perish
And enjoy my life now
I wish I could somehow cherish
What I do

~~~G~~~

Most know how to appreciate a hand
What's not to like? Most hands are really nice
But if I want to probe your foreign land
The upper part alone just won't suffice
Soft feet are delicate erotic toys
Those tiny toes a playground for my lips
So tempting for my mouth, so it enjoys
The licking and the sucking of its tips
Most know how to appreciate a breast
Or all the fun that waits between your thighs
I like to put your patience to the test
I'll work my way around, then claim my prize

~~~G~~~

It's been a while since darkness called
The medication keeps it calm
Is this how I am getting old?
I see the wrinkles on my palm
I don't feel bad, I don't feel much
And in a way that's quite alright
Until I'm longing for your touch
When I'm awake alone at night

~~~G~~~

I met you and I loved you
As simple as it sounds
Of course the end was rough too
But not the first few rounds

I called you, I was nervous
We talked for half a day
Till we ran out of service
Or had too much to pay

I wrote you and you wrote me
Those stories, letters, lists
For what it's worth, you showed me
That what I want exists

~~~G~~~

He's almost still a child
His hormones racing wild
First stubble on his chin
He's everything I've been

And what he wants is clear
He's leaning in too near
An androgynous boy
A sweet and tempting joy

The shower that we share
Will rinse all longing bare
No stains to prove what's done
When we depart and run

~~~G~~~

She called me soothing
Then she fell asleep
Her chest was moving
And her breaths were deep
The smell of berries
In her reddish hair
A view to cherish
In the summer air

She called me soothing
Then she closed her eyes
My mood improving
To her peaceful sighs
The smell of summer
And a view so fine
It's such a bummer
That she isn't mine

~~~G~~~

It's over.
All bullets flown, all chances blown.
All questions asked, all answers known.
All cross-ways passed, all mercy shown.

It's over.
All blows are dealt, all punches felt.
Hearts need a lot of heat to melt.
Now all we've got's below the belt.

~~~G~~~

I'm going down and down for good
Would you follow if you could?
Would you hold my hand and wait
Till I'm cold, till it's too late?
Would you grab my hand and pull?
Would you follow a man so hollow?
Would you come?
With me?
Would you come?
For me?
Or would you go?

~~~G~~~

You used to sleep in my bed
And you slept deep in my arm
And I felt home and made sure
That you would know

You used to write me cute notes
And to invite me on trips
Oh God, I loved you so much
So long ago

You used to be everything
That I could see, taste and smell
I made you know me so well
I helped you grow

We used to ponder the world
And had such wonderful nights
Oh damn, I loved you so much
So long ago

~~~G~~~

You've known my heart
With all its holes
With all its tunnels
And hidden chambers

Right from the start
You've seen its goals
You've understood

You've known my head
With all its cracks
With all its brilliance
And all its errors

Since all is said
My soul is sad
We're gone for good

~~~G~~~

We could go to bed now
I see how you want it
And I sure feel tempted
It's been quite a while

You're cute and you're sexy
And ready to show it
You're good at this, no shit
It's all in your smile

I've done this so often
It's barely a reflex
So simple, just wild sex
I guess it's my style

But I've grown too bitter
To just use your body
I used to be naughty
But now it seems vile

~~~G~~~

That one guy, let's call him Jack
Was hurt a couple years back
The other one, let's say Joe
Got single two weeks ago
And now they're both in this bar
Cliché, but yet here they are
And both think life has been rough
And both are pouring down stuff
Then Joe is ordering fries
Which somehow catches Jack's eyes
Who mentally flips a coin
And finds the courage to join
Joe eyes the man he just met
He's curious, not upset
And so they're starting to talk
Still going on as they walk
When stopped in front of Joe's door
Jack's scared like never before
One more coin flipped and he dares
To follow Joe up the stairs
The night goes by like a blur
Now both are not who they were
What happened - Who really cares?
Attend your own lives, not theirs

~~~G~~~

Intelligence in his look
That's almost all that it took
A few soft strokes of his hand
Made sure he might understand
A wicked wink in his smile
His company is worthwhile
So maybe he'll be the one
To go where no one has gone
With all the time that it took
He's worth that rare closer look

~~~G~~~

You meet this guy, you like him
His biceps makes you sweat
It tickles when you touch him
He's grinning and you're wet

You don't have much to lose yet
But there are things to gain
Right now, your place, you choose it
The longing feels insane

You walk, you drink, you kiss him
He's shy but you are not
You pull his hair, undress him
You'll show him what you've got

He's getting warm, he's moving
He dives between your legs
You have him work, it's soothing
Your muscles need to flex

~~~G~~~

If I'm to listen to my heart like that song says
Why is my heart so often wrong and so dumb?
And once again I'm left with faking a strong face
Until the muscles in my cheeks all go numb

Why can't I listen to my head that's quite clever?
Why can't I choose what seems ideal to my mind?
Why can't I pick the better paths, 'cause I never
What kind of wonder am I hoping to find?

~~~G~~~

I've heard of happiness
It sounds quite cool
I'm not too pleased with less
Not as a rule

I've heard of honest laughs
They sound like fun
I've heard of lives one loves
How is that done?

~~~G~~~

Some days you can't get out of bed
Some days you want to crawl back in
And then you stall, you eat instead
But your excuses soon run thin
What else is there to do but sleep
Or overthink the Then and Now?
Much too indifferent to weep
You want to change but don't know how

~~~G~~~

I've been meaning to write, but I just can't be bothered
I'm a miserable sight, I feel smothered
By my own dreary days, by the blankets that hide me
It's not bad in this case, book beside me

~~~G~~~

I lie down
I shut my eyes
Then I imagine your palm
Where my fingers start caressing
I act like they're yours
And I breathe
Soft moans and sighs
I try to dream and stay calm
Where my body's met with blessing
It answers of course

Warm and wet
I open wide
Then let your fingers slip in
Truth and fantasy are melding
Like I am with you
And I shake
And you're inside
My self-restraint's wearing thin
Wounds tear up that need no welding
Can't tell what is true

~~~G~~~

I got used to saying "We got bacon at home"
When I talked to you
Now it's me who's paying and who's eating alone
Cause I walked from you
It took months accepting that it's us and not me
But I got it done
Now I'm reconnecting with what I used to be
And with having fun

~~~G~~~

I won't stand for this
It's not who I am
I die in your kiss
Each one is a scam
I can't let you go
But God knows I will
Got pride still to show
And fears still to kill
It's truth I demand
It's peace that I miss
Though barely I stand
I won't stand for this

~~~G~~~

Another person I almost got to know
Another wall constructed, and carefully so
You built it up and now I'm supposed to climb
And while that's always temping, I'm lacking the time

Another person I'd almost call a friend
But I don't really know you that well in the end
You mimic happiness and it makes me sad
And while I don't believe you, I guess that's my bad

Another person I wish that I could trust
But I'll accept your lies and your smiles if I must
Guess you've been hurt too often, had to be strong
And while I wish I didn't, I'll just play along

~~~G~~~

I've been floating
Without an anker
Most of my life
And I don't look so lost
I suppose
Only once in a while

I've been drifting
Without direction
Most of the time
But I manage to live
In a way
Doesn't mean that I'm fine

I've been moving
Without a compass
Most of my miles
Where I wanted to go
It is clear
I'm not anywhere near

~~~G~~~

I overthink
And then I talk
It's crucial to communicate
A skill that you don't demonstrate
You're pissed, you walk
Without a blink

I need to know
That I can trust
Your will to tell me quietly
What's wrong; instead you lie to me
You don't adjust
You won't let go

I'm weak, you see
But I have learned
To put my feelings into words
To rationally say what hurts
I wish I'd earned
The same toward me

~~~G~~~

They used to want you above all else
They used to give you all their time
And now you almost have to beg
For a single minute

They used to think that you're worth the fight
They used to dream of you each night
And now it almost feels as if
They find you annoying

You're an intruder, or so it seems
A friendly face that waits in line
They've gotten over you at last
It was you who made them

~~~G~~~

I hate this body so much
And every hair that's wrong enrages me
I touch those failures constantly
The flaws that make me up
Disgusting being

And every time I fight this figure
It's like I trigger something worse
A crawling curse
In every mirror, every window
Prevents unseeing

And I keep fleeing
And I keep trying, I fight
I eat what's right
Work out, have patience
But not for long
I'm not that strong
And after few days of almost liking my face
You might think the worst part's over
It's never over
Unless I'm too

~~~G~~~

I wanted to show you all that I've been
I wanted to tell you all that I've seen
I wanted to know you like no one's ever done
But time doesn't stop and our time is gone

I wanted to hold you when you're not well
Whatever the matter, me you could tell
I wanted to comfort the best thing that I've got
But after this time I know I will not

I wanted to travel, show you the land
That makes me feel home like holding your hand
I wanted to share this and all that I adore
But now it is clear I won't anymore

I wanted to kiss you all day and night
I wanted the bad days way out of sight
Whatever I wanted, I guess I went off track
I wasted our time, I won't get it back

~~~G~~~

You tried to love him, trust him, doubt him
But you just couldn't care about him
No matter how intense the scene is
There's no connection but his penis
You're mostly moaning, scarcely speaking
And he's inside you and he's leaking
He will be gone within the hour
And you won't even take a shower
The mattress damp, the man a dummy
No slightest spark within your tummy

~~~G~~~

It was all so much easier then, wasn't it?
Now it hurts to see pictures of them, doesn't it?
Of those days when your smile wasn't fake, just for me
When we laughed and we joked and we thought we could be
It was all so much easier then, but we knew
That it might get much harder and too hard to do
In the end, all those pictures remind me of days
When the joy that you seek was all over your face

~~~G~~~

Who would have thought?
How all the air moved back in
The very moment we ended
And suddenly we could both breathe again

The peace returned
And I could see in your face
What I had missed all those moments
The gentle love for a difficult man

Somehow it's sad
How we're so perfect again
The very moment we ended
And suddenly we can both breathe again

If we returned
To what we wanted to be
I guarantee we would end up
In that exact same self-torture again

~~~G~~~

Always the last one
Watching the rest
Achieving my goals before me
It hurts to be last, don't you see?
I'm trying my best
But I'm last

Always the last one
Watching my friends
Living the dreams I still chase
Why would I smile to your face?
I wish you the best
Though I'm last

~~~G~~~

Some love the summer sun.
Some say the heat is fun.
But I don't feel like that.
I am, therefor I sweat.

~~~G~~~

When you can barely make it out of bed
When you are devastated, not just sad
When every day's the same and every night a curse
Don't worry - Things will get worse

When you don't like your hobbies like before
When you have turned from fun into a silent bore
When you don't spend the money you've got in your purse
Don't worry - Things will get worse

When you can't find a decent rhyme for "bed"
And use some soggy word like "sad" instead
And when you can't be bothered to make the third verse work
Then don't. Just don't.
Whatever.

~~~G~~~

Not for a single moment did I want to die
It's just that sometimes I can't bear to live
And though it would be strange to go without goodbye
I couldn't speak when something's got to give

And everyone who tells me to be happy is
Insulting me and everything I am
If I was able to get close to happiness
Then surely parts of me would give a damn

Not for a single moment did I want to go
But staying's way too hard to do some days
And when my time is up I may not tell you so
I wouldn't go if we were face to face

And everyone who tells you how to feel is wrong
You know your feelings best, they have no say
Greet happiness from me, if it's to come along
Don't worry, if I go, it's not today

~~~G~~~

It took some years to really get it, how you felt
Trapped in between two worlds that you could never melt
It weren't feelings but the actions that we chose
I could have been a bigger person, I suppose
That's not to say that they were anything but wrong
All would have worked if loving me had made you strong
But you were used to something that I couldn't give
And to a world in which you knew I couldn't live
That's not to say that what I gave you wasn't great
I still believe I would have been a better fate
But fate is clearly not a thing that you can choose
And either way you had an awful lot to lose
I could have been a bigger person if I'd tried
And smiled at those who held the one I was denied
Those selfish bastards, blinded assholes, broken friends
Who took my everything away and tied my hands
It took some years to really get it, now I do
You didn't want to join the fight surrounding you
You were too tired, felt too hopeless, saw no sense
Why spend your strength on something when you know it ends

~~~G~~~

Sometimes the wrong ones are better than nothing
Sometimes they're worse and you're better alone
Sometimes you're happy although you're not laughing
Sometimes the message is all in the tone

Sometimes you run and don't know where you're going
Sometimes you're walking all target ahead
Sometimes your thoughts and your feelings are showing
Sometimes they're hidden inside you instead

Sometimes it's clear you don't know what you're doing
Sometimes obsession will hold you in place
Sometimes you're holding back words, sternly chewing
Sometimes they're gushing all out of your face

Sometimes the right thing is clear and compelling
Sometimes you have to do wrong things instead
Sometimes it's all just an act when you're yelling
Sometimes you're in it way over your head

Sometimes you know that sometimes you won't know shit
Sometimes you think that you're clever as hell
Sometimes it's clear if you'll manage or blow it
Sometimes there's really no way you can tell

~~~G~~~

Cheap, stupid pick-up line
Embarrassing and sleazy
Their hair all thin and greasy
Too many men are swine
These moments of shit occur
With drunken choirs cheering
Or that's what she's been hearing
No one's ever hit on her

Round belly, acne face
No target for harassment
At least not with her ass bent
No lustful stranger's gaze
She's glad nothing's going on
Those skinny girls, they haunt them
Disgusting creeps who want them
But why can't she be the one?

~~~G~~~

I'm sad
And I can't change it
Or maybe I can
But I won't

It's bad
And you can't change it
Or maybe you can
But you don't

It hurts
It does too often
We know where it ends
But we wait

We're scared
We are too often
Why making amends
It's too late

~~~G~~~

When Edmont sent his finest letter
His spirits changed much for the better
For Isobel would know at last
About the spell that she had cast

And Lady Isobel the Boring
Had no idea his hopes were soaring
When she went shopping to acquire
Some satin evening attire

~~~G~~~

She who claims to understand you
Won't defend you
And it's clear she doesn't know you
Not at all

She who says she gets your trouble
Makes it double
Do I really need to show you?
Make the call

She who thinks you're kind of like her
Cause you like her
Hasn't gone through what you're dealing
With, my friend

She is nice and sympathetic
Not empathic
She won't get the way you're feeling
Make it end

~~~G~~~

Always struggling, always fighting
We never seem to find our peace
Our words are often biting
When they are mostly meant to ease

Always struggling, always hurting
We never seem to get it right
Now it takes much less than flirting
To call up another fight

Always struggling, always trying
We both know well what got us here
And we both are past denying
Trust's not driving us, it's fear

~~~G~~~

Again I walk home late
With few thoughts left, if any
And drops fall on my hat
But so far not too many
Again I walk alone
My empty head so pleasant
The future's an ordeal
The present is a present

~~~G~~~

I want to believe in a future
Where everyone works hand in hand
I really would like to believe that
No fights over oil, food or land
No laws that are based on religion
Acceptance of everything new
I wish I could trust in this vision
I wish I could say that I do
I wish it would no longer matter
If someone was born far or near
That no one would care if you're praying
That no one would care if you're queer
I wish I could trust in our leaders
To do what is best for the Earth
To rule with a merciful wisdom
Not guided by power or worth

~~~G~~~

Cute little one, you were nosy
Chose me above your own kind
You'll never know what it feels like
Us being left here behind

Cute little one, how I loved you
We could have been really close
You found this home worth exploring
You made it home, I suppose

~~~G~~~

Oh boy
How do I tell her?
She makes my organs spin
Don't know if that's a good thing
Gosh, where do I begin?

Oh boy
How can I tell her?
I hate the guy she's with
Don't know if he's a nice one
I'd hate him even if

~~~G~~~

Should it bother me
When he's close to you
When he holds you too
Should it bother me?

Should it bother me
When I read your mind
And it's him I find
Should it bother me?

Should it bother me
When you find a way
To meet every day
That should bother me

~~~G~~~

Once again you're sent
To another land
Where you're only meant
To promote your brand

You don't like to stay
By yourself all day
So you dance, you play
And it feels okay

And this guy named Brent
He just takes your hand
And you understand
It's a one night stand

You admit he's cute
Rather suave, no brute
So you play his flute
Till the sounds turn mute

No good-bye, no fight
You get home alright
For a quiet night
And get on your flight

~~~G~~~

It's true, I guess
Frustrating, yes
We barely stay in touch
I'm not expecting much
You give me nothing

I know you hurt
I know you flirt
With ending things for good
Can't tell you if you should
Or if you're bluffing

Just go your way
I'll be okay
Just spare me all the lying
I've made my peace with dying
But not with living

And it's a shame
You feel the same
And choose your isolation
To know that your frustration
All comes from giving

~~~G~~~

Slowly
Then faster
Your chest moves up and down

Call me
Your master
Who moves his tongue around

Gliding
In circles
And barely touching ground

Hiding
And lurking
Then working on your sound

Slowly
Then faster
My tongue invades your heat

Show me
Your master
How best to feed your needs

~~~G~~~

So I guess you're back with him
And I guess that's good for you
Our star was always dim
But at least I stood by you

I don't know if he's aware
Of the sparkling gem he holds
And I guess I shouldn't care
How your time with him unfolds

~~~G~~~

Why is my mind so blank these days?
Eyes fixed on nothing, empty gaze
Why is my head so silent now?
Who can reverse this state and how?

~~~G~~~

Aren't you scared
To live in a system
Where they know everything?
Your bank account password
Your mail, where you've been?

Aren't you scared
To live in a country
Where they think it's okay
To keep a recording
Of all that you say?

Aren't you scared
To live with the knowledge
That your leaders are sold
To corporate monsters
That can't be controlled?

Aren't you scared
To live in an era
Where that's all coming true?
It's slowly made legal
It's all around you

~~~G~~~

You're so full of poison
And you're spilling it everywhere
I wish you wouldn't
But if you kept it inside, it would kill you
So you're killing us all

You're so full of poison
And you spit it at everything
With great precision
Sometimes I wonder if you even see it
How you're killing us all

~~~G~~~

Most rules of life can't be applied to every single day
Some find it good to go, some safe to stay
And over time you'll change your view on waiting and the past
The most intense of memories will last

Don't sacrifice your present for a future you don't know
If you are in a pleasant place, don't go
Don't kill the known and compromise the common when it's gold
The special might get spoiled when it turns old

~~~G~~~

You're bringing out the worst in me
You're not the first, I must agree
I threaten you, I'm being mean
It's nothing that I've never been
I'm jealous and I don't know why
I wish I wasn't and I try
It's not like I don't really care
You're something I don't want to share
And you're no saint, not even close
But in the end the one I chose
And you chose me, this choice we share
Though common ground is getting rare

~~~G~~~

Some eat, you know, and they never gain weight
With their abs always straight while we struggle
Some starve and some vomit to look half as great
And not drop all the hate that they juggle

Some cut, you see, but it's never themselves
While some others aim all their rage inward
Some die to be something you'd put on your shelves
Skin won't show if it is of the thin sort

Some live, it seems, and it all just works out
Everything they set eyes on is settled
The rest of us watches and wonders about
How their spirits can always feel mettled

~~~G~~~

She hasn't been good to herself lately
She can't expect others to be
She could drown her sorrow in wealth, maybe
But that never comes easily

She hasn't been good to the world at all
The world hasn't earned any treats
She rapes her own body, prepared to fall
Surprised how her blood pump still beats

~~~G~~~

Repeating the same old mistakes
Doesn't feel as pathetic in this time and age
It used to be bad to be wrong
Now you shrug with a sigh and you just play along

Trying to be what is you
Seems impossibly hard and so futile to do
What if your dreams are a trick
And you should have long noticed but you're just too thick?

~~~G~~~

Life's still the same
It didn't change
I really wish it did
Life's still a game
That's gross and strange
With too much on the grid

Life's still the same
I'm still afraid
I'll lose myself and more
And full of shame
I beg for aid
Much louder than before

~~~G~~~

I'm sexy and you know it
It's funny 'cause I don't
You want me and you show it
And I could blush but won't

You're sexy, don't you know it?
You don't agree? Oh please!
So here's your chance, don't blow it
Be real, not just a tease

~~~G~~~

I'm broken too
We all are
Sad or not, it's true
The me I knew
Went so far
Fear and I both grew

You're scared as hell
I know it
How I know that look
We both can tell
You'll blow it
After all it took

We hide behind
The curtain
Someone thought was nice
It's hard to find
For certain
Pearls between the lies

~~~G~~~

It's springtime and I'm shivering
I'm not supposed to freeze
It's just another little thing
But there've been lots of these

I'm wearing sweatpants to the beach
I'm playing in the sand
When there is peace within my reach
I've got to stretch my hand

~~~G~~~

Hate me for the way I'm always looking for solutions
Hate me for how I ignore the bad
Hate me for the times I turn your anger into laughter
Hate me for the way it makes you sad
Hate me everytime I try to understand your weak sides
Hate me 'cause I know you're such a wreck
Hate me like you hate yourself for all the ways you hurt me
Hate me like I'll never hate you back

~~~G~~~

The breeze is messing with my hair
Forgot to bring a comb
Invited all my worries
They didn't come along

The sun is turning pale to red
My hands are full of salt
The ocean's way too cold to swim
It's really not my fault

~~~G~~~

All afraid of the strange, you close the border
We're surrounded by strangers anyway
And though history lessons are in order
Darker pasts could return here any day
There has never been anything homogeneous
Every language or culture is a mix
Constant changes are common and therefor meaningless
When a system's not broken, do not fix
We are so saturated with all we've got here
Maybe it would be better to take things slow
We donate to good causes that are not here
When we keep strange things strange, problems only grow

~~~G~~~

You try to teach them, they ignore you
You try to preach, they cut you down
A twisted circus lies before you
It's understood you are the clown

You try to reach them with your actions
You try to change them with your words
But they give in to all distractions
They make you shout until it hurts

You know it's just the way they do things
You understand it's not their fault
You wish that, just like you, they knew things
But they are lost, their fate won't halt

~~~G~~~

It's not a burn that it takes
We'll never learn from mistakes
We'll deal with murder and theft
Till there are none of us left

Another war will be lost
While we're ignoring its cost
We'll slaughter women and men
When yesterday comes again

There is no breaking this curse
And future times will be worse
We are entangled in tools
That think for us mangled fools

It's not a burn that it takes
If we're to learn from mistakes
We must begin at the start
When all has fallen apart

~~~G~~~

There's so much poison in you
It blocks the sun from your view
The venom runs through your heart
Until you're falling apart

There's so much hatred, and why?
No happy day can go by
And you destroy what you love
By thinking you're not enough

~~~G~~~

Ich kann so viel, und doch nichts richtig
Ich bin so gut, und doch nicht wichtig
Ich habe Träume, habe Ziele
Es gäbe viel, das mir gefiele
Ich denke nach statt mich zu freuen
Weiß schon davor, ich werd's bereuen
Mir fehlt so oft die Kraft zum Leben
Wie soll ich jemals alles geben?
Und wofür lohnt es sich zu bleiben
Und weiter alles aufzuschreiben
Was in mir wächst und in die Form fließt
Bei der das Feedback so enorm ist?

~~~G~~~

There is depression inside me
It's dark and destructive
And it is eating its way through my day
You won't be able to guide me
So I, that's deductive,
Must guide myself or I won't be okay

There is a cloud through and through me
My mind has created
The pills can only abate for so long
You chose my side though you knew me
You knew who you dated
Most of our days we will have to be strong

~~~G~~~

I enjoy pretty bodies
And I don't think it's strange
It's a natural liking
That is not gonna change

All the posters and pictures
We can rearrange
So that people don't see them
But I'm not gonna change

~~~G~~~

The rain runs down the windows
The streets are getting wet
I'm peeking through the curtains
And this is all I get
The days run through my fingers
My time is running out
One thing I know for certain:
That's not what life's about

~~~G~~~

What would remain
What could you gain
You are so tortured by your doubt

Another vein
So full of pain
Screams Make the cut and let me out

Yet you say No
You will not go
It's not your time to disappear

The greatest show
That hurts you so
Goes on enough to keep you here

~~~G~~~

Let go
Jump
They'll catch you

For once trust the world that you've built

They'll know
Jump
They'll let you

Your care more than matches your guilt

Let go
Jump
It's worth it

You've waited too long to stay put

Things grow
Jump
It's perfect

You'll never be sure if you should

~~~G~~~

He looked into her wide blue eyes
As her hands slid down his belly
They heard his swollen panties' cries
And his knees turned into jelly
He looked into her longing face
As he felt his belt hit floor tiles
His blue old jeans felt out of place
For at night one only wore smiles

~~~G~~~

So I got older over time
I hear that happens
And things that seemed like such a crime
I've done them too
Now there's no point in blaming those
Who've wronged before me
I understand the paths they chose
Yes, now I do

So I got older over time
And somehow wiser
Because I analyze each crime
That I commit
That doesn't justify the pain
That I've been causing
I simply hope they're not in vain
The things I did

So I got older, who'd have thought?
I thought I wouldn't
And I'm not proud of what I've brought
To some I've met
It would be arrogant to say
It's greater justice
But what I must is, ever day,
Fight down regret

~~~G~~~

I'm told that if I'm bored
It's of my own accord
That I just need to do
Whatever pulls me through
It's not that I am lazy
I'm slowly going crazy
Why don't they understand?
It's hard to lift a hand
It's hard though they don't get how
No way I'll leave my bed now

~~~G~~~

I'm jealous of the gentle way you smile at your phone
Your voice has that tone when you talk to her
If that's how you're feeling, then walk to her
I'm lonely now, it doesn't matter if I'm alone

You're dreaming with those gleaming eyes all fixed on the screen
A look I've once seen in another life
When you felt that much for another wife
How long until you realize what all those signs mean?

~~~G~~~

In the morning she gets out of bed
Goes to church or the market instead
Talks to neighbors or watches TV
Has some coffee around two or three
In the evening she opens the fridge
For some cheese cake but can't decide which
And she eats like she does every day
Goes to sleep, then she passes away

~~~G~~~

For the love of cheese!
Please stop chewing my cheddar
Or start doing it better
It's too rough, don't squeeze!

Don't you bruise my brie!
Dairy drains need some breathing
Some might like the whole teeth thing
But that's not for me

~~~G~~~

Waiting in front of my bed
Is a present so pleasant
In ribbons of red
Kneeling, prepared to be taught
There'd be chaos and crying
In case we got caught

Waiting in front of my bed
Is a world of a woman
With legs widely spread
Ready to blow me away
And erase every trace of
A tiresome day

~~~G~~~

Heavy heart, lost soul
Beaten and broken
Too many words left unspoken
Torn apart, once whole
Damaged and shattered
Thrown out, the one who once mattered
Brand-new start, same goal
Hurting but crawling
Better than keeping on falling

~~~G~~~

Your eyes tell it all
They can be read like blinking letters
You're ready to fall
And I'm the only one who matters
Your lips greet my spine
I close my eyes so I can feel it
It's better than fine
The flame you're starting is the real shit
It crackles and burns
Within the spot just where my legs start
Your tongue gently turns
It makes me longing for the sex part

~~~G~~~

She was a girl from Carolina
She was all hurt and out for blood
With liquor warming her vagina
And leather boots all stained with mud

I guess she looked like twenty-something
But I just really can't be sure
We both were looking for a dumb thing
With feelings far from being pure

We had some hours full of light sparks
Before the dark crept in again
When she was gone, I felt the bite marks
Where both my tears and semen ran

~~~G~~~

Your demons and mine
They're friends now
Their reddish eyes shine
When they play

Your panic, my doubt
It ends now
We're clumsy without
But okay

~~~G~~~

Your death left me in the dark
No light, no flame, not a spark
I should not think about you
And I feel guilt 'cause I do

Your death left me in the void
Your best friend's now unemployed
I never did, but today
I get what took you away

~~~G~~~

I tried to be a better person
Then went astray to stay alive
The world deserves a better version
Of what's me
So I will try to stay on mission
And try to do what's right again
Again let conscience guide decision
Then we'll see

~~~G~~~

When are you going to leave my dreams?
I used to dream of sex and pancakes
Now every time my stupid heart aches
You're here all night, or so it seems

When are you going to go away?
I do not need you here at nighttime
Just leave my thoughts and I'll be quite fine
Or come at daytime too and stay

~~~G~~~

We flood the room with love
As corny as it sounds
It radiates around us
From me to you in rounds

We feel this rare great thing
Most never get to meet
That makes you drop all fences
And blows you off your feet

Love's here when you're with me
It stays when you're away
Much like the sun it warms me
It feeds me ray by ray

~~~G~~~

Walking home in the rain
Hand in hand
Soaked and cold
If one thought will remain
It's the hand
That I hold

Walking home, walking fast
Soaked and cold
Sock and shoe
If one thought is to last
Till I'm old
It is you

~~~G~~~

You make me laugh
Till I'm embarrassed
Of how I'm kneeling on the floor
Gasping for air, composed no more
All tears and shaking

You make me laugh
In ways so simple
And it's the truest laugh I know
It shows how I adore you so
No masks, no faking

~~~G~~~

You are still with me now
Like you have been all year
And not a single tear
You've caused since yesterday

You're in the air somehow
The air you've breathed so near
Until the wind came here
And took my guest away

~~~G~~~

I know you find me kind of attractive
But what good does it do me?
I know your love is strong and selective
Of what use is it to me?
If you want more than to comfort or tempt me
Why is one side of my bed always empty?

I know you love the way that I touch you
How my fingers can melt you
You take deep breaths and moan when I clutch you
There's a lust that I've felt too
If you want more than to shake when I kiss you
Why do you have to make sure that I miss you?

I know you give me things you don't need to
Lay your body before me
Explore new sides of love when I lead you
There's no way you could bore me
I wish you weren't just mine temporarily
This waste of loving is unnecessary

~~~G~~~

They try their best but they don't know us
And how they show us every day
With little things and lots of actions
They're mere distractions on the way

They try their best but they're not like us
They try to like us all the same
They do their best to do us justice
Their pointless trust is not to blame

~~~G~~~

Life seems overrated, doesn't it?
The constant getting up
From a bed that's cold or crowded
In the mornings

Childhood felt so peaceful, wasn't it?
The future seemed so far
Now it's close, it's all around you
Without warning

Don't you think you've tried this long enough?
You've hardly moved at all
Haven't lived a single day
That's worth recalling

If you hate the world, what's left to love?
Why would you stay for them?
It's survival but it feels
A lot like stalling

~~~G~~~

I've lost another round
Or maybe I'm still winning
The world and I are spinning
But still not on the ground

Don't know who stumbled first
We both are throwing punches
We follow leads and hunches
To make each other burst

The world and I have fought
Too long to know who's scoring
It's all become so boring
You'd think the fight was bought

Another year is gone
It wasn't that amazing
The year I'm barely facing
Could be the final one

~~~G~~~

Lord, please give us a sign that's too big to ignore
Give us something worth dying or living for
Make it grand and impressive and perfectly clear
There can be no more doubt about why we're here

~~~G~~~

And here I thought that I, too, deserved happiness
That after all I'd survived I'd be saved
That in the end I'd be shown what the purpose was
That I'd be judged for the way I'd behaved

And here I stand once again full of fears and doubt
And once again I don't know what to do
If I will ever be shown what this life's about
Or if I'll stay in the dark till it's through

~~~G~~~

Sitting on my lap while I lean back, you're mildly swaying
Almost like I'm praying, I encase your breasts with my hands
Wiped my memory of you and me somehow undressing
Eyes so sweet caressing while your naked body demands

Moving forth and back the ass I smack, you drive me crazy
I'm not being lazy, I receive your waist with my thrust
Gliding in and out, I moan, I shout, my world is spinning
Heavenly at sinning, we are one volcano of lust

~~~G~~~

There's a new year on the horizon
A new chance to get some things right
In the midst of their celebration
Fireworks disrupt your long night

There's a new spring waiting to blossom
Maybe winter's finally gone
And that thing that beats in your bosom
May be beating strong for someone

~~~G~~~

Another crying stranger's face
On yet another train
I don't know why she's in this place
But I can see her pain

I want to offer her my hand
And show that someone cared
That maybe I can understand
But maybe she'd be scared

Another crying stranger here
With overwhelming issues
Another and another tear
That's why I carry tissues

~~~G~~~

Perfection doesn't always have to mean without mistakes
Perfection means it's worth the fight, no matter what it takes
Perfection's not a global truth, it changes with the cause
But when it strikes you, you will know, your pulse will jump or pause

~~~G~~~

Being sad is okay
Let those tears find their way
Let those years pass you by
It's okay if you cry

Being mad is alright
You're not bad if you fight
Just be sure what about
It's alright if you shout

~~~G~~~

Come here, I want to thank you
Lay down and let me spank you
Just listen while my lash speaks
Until you feel your ass cheeks
And when you've gained some color
And I have heard you holler
Let me caress your bruises
And lick away your juices

~~~G~~~

What's a heartbeat or breath if not muscle contraction?
Guess you make me work out by increasing their speed
How can good be enough once we've tasted perfection?
Is it wrong to find out what we actually need?
I heard people explain that the sky is the limit
When the limits that count are the ones we can't see
Understanding my pain only works if you're in it
Only few ever got what it's like to be me

~~~G~~~

You're good
You're just not good enough
You gave me all your trust, your love
I wasted it
You've got no clue
So maybe I'm not good for you

~~~G~~~

Your breath through the phone is getting excited
This tension is known to grow when ignited
You don't need to say what daydreams you live through
I know you'll obey the orders I give you
I instantly chose for once not to tease you
I hear you are close and I like to please you
A scream from your lung, a word with no letter
We both know my tongue can do it much better

~~~G~~~

I try to think of other matters
You always show up in my thoughts
Just how those childlike lips can kiss me
In perfect ways on perfect spots

I try to think of other bodies
But yours has occupied my mind
Your arms and legs, your ass, your fingers
I'd recognize if I was blind

I try to think of other faces
Without your perfect eyes or smile
Without a tongue that leaves me breathless
And panting loudly for a while

I try to think of other flavors
But I am spellbound by your scent
And by those words I heard you whisper
Before we both knew what they meant

~~~G~~~

I was inside you for the blink of an eye
Many got lied to as the minutes ran by
We shared two bodies, then we shared them again
Hot as the blood is of a woman and man
I was inside you, you were warm, you were wet
Resting beside you, I feel love, not regret
Physically tiny, you're the greatest I know
Eyes bright and shiny say "I love you, don't go."

~~~G~~~

When it's about survival
Being kind is luxury
Your head becomes a rival
When you find it tough to be
When pain is all you're feeling
You just throw your morals out
It's taking, breathing, healing
Giving's not what it's about
You tell yourself that later
You'll make time to make things right
Give back to every hater
You created through your fight

~~~G~~~

You and I taking a shower
After sweating for an hour
Cuddling, kissing, almost dreaming
While the water keeps on streaming
Standing close, massaging, cleaning
That's when life develops meaning

~~~G~~~

What ten others could not give you
The eleventh might get right
Six o'clock and I'm not with you
I'm not giving up this fight
One more moment of affection
That's uniting me and you
One more tongue on body action
Making dreams and screams come true
One more kiss that feels like heaven
One and one and one is fine
Added to six times eleven
That's a perfect sixty-nine

~~~G~~~

Make me young again
In that special way
Make me feel again
Like it's all okay

Show me who I've been
Love my present state
Love the parts of me
I can't help but hate

~~~G~~~

Seems I've once again lost
Something important to me
At too high of a cost
Just like I knew it would be

And it's nobody's fault
Like it's never of late
Just another assault
By a merciless fate

~~~G~~~

I just don't see how I can win this
I put my shitty life on pause
But for as long as I am in this
I treat the symptoms, not the cause

I just don't see things getting better
I cannot change myself like that
I put my heart in every letter
And eat while scared of getting fat

I can repeat the same procedures
And pass my time with talk and sex
A different body, different features
Will soon become another ex

I just don't see how I can end this
Unless I choose the one way out
Each life is precious, I defend this
But I'd be better off without

~~~G~~~

I saw this girl on the train
She looked exactly like you
But she was five, maybe six
And didn't know me

It's like I'm going insane
My mind is playing me tricks
To get the images through
It needs to show me

I want a kid just like her
Who looks exactly like you
With all that love in her face
I always see there

Last week's already a blur
And it's been too many days
Just know whatever you do
I'll always be there

~~~G~~~

Something's painfully missing
In the mornings at least
While no sunlight is kissing
Trees and walls in the East

Something's painfully wrong here
And I know what it is
Not just sunlight is gone here
With its warmth and its kiss

~~~G~~~

I know I'm not perfect
I don't ask for perfection
I ask for flaws that fit my own
I know that I'm worth it
I don't make this selection
It's grown inside me all alone

~~~G~~~

I like to find myself between
The warmth of my bed and the weight of your head
Of all the places that I've been
Without much regret I'd choose this one instead
I'd be at peace with what I chose
Till morning arrives there's be nothing to miss
To wake up and to feel you close
What else in this life could be better than this?

~~~G~~~

Depressing music playing loud
At least it understands me
I'm always one to flee the crowd
The empty room defends me

Depressing music knows my heart
And how it's hard to function
And how again I fall apart
With every choice or junction

I barely grin and rarely smile
Succumbing to an illness
That I have carried for a while
That cripples more and kills less

I don't know how to end my days
Surprised I still begin them
Those battles thrown into my ways
I don't know how to win them

~~~G~~~

They all talk about holding and kissing and such
About matters of body and heart, thought and touch
Though I love when you touch me, your touch is profound
I don't need entertainment, I want you around
When you sleep, when you study, watch movies or read
And I'll always provide you with things that you need
Like a hug or a sandwich or brushing your hair
I will show you each moment how deeply I care
I just love how you love all those things I prepared
For no life is worth living unless it is shared

~~~G~~~

You can see in my eyes what I feel for you.
And you know that your eyes look the same way too.
Do the math: one and one makes a perfect two.
What it's worth? No clue. But it's simply true.

~~~G~~~

I'm loved by a freak and I love it
She isn't at all like the rest
She's utterly different just like me
And that's what I like in her best

I'm loved by a freak and I love her
It's easy to see and admit
What others find strange or annoying
Are sides of her I think just fit

~~~G~~~

I try to do the right thing
While life is doing me
Of all the tears that I bring
There's many I don't see
I try to do the right one
The one that won't turn blue
Of all the lengths that I've gone
None felt as far as you

~~~G~~~

Angels don't fall out of the sky
Angels don't fall
Angels fly

If I love you, don't ask me why
I just love you
I don't try

If I have to, I'll say good-bye
Cause I have to
Let you fly

~~~G~~~

I used to have a heart
I think it used to beat
Before I fell apart
Before I felt defeat
I used to smile and joke
I used to be alright
Before I burst and broke
Before I turned to night
I used to breathe and feel
I used to use my head
I used to know what's real
Before I went all dead

~~~G~~~

I look at you, I read your thoughts, they mostly are my own
You cannot hide what's going on, at least you're not alone
I feel the movements you don't make, your nonexistent kiss
Although your lips don't touch my own, no kiss keeps up with this

~~~G~~~

My tongue moves in circles
Soft pressure, hot breath
Inside, up and downwards
My kiss is your death
I work all around it
Then all the way in
And sucking the center
I make your world spin
My fingers clawed into
The flesh of your thighs
I swallow your trembling
Your twitches, your sighs

~~~G~~~

Press your naked back against me
Help me to forget
I'm too caught up in what can't be
Let me kiss your neck
Moan for me and pull me closer
Let me make you hot
Let your writer and composer
Show you what he's got

Close your lilac lips around me
Let me deep inside
In this darkest place you found me
Help me heal and hide
Scream for me and make me tremble
Let me make you wet
Kiss the human I resemble
Help me to forget

~~~G~~~

Look at how perspectives shift
Look at how thoughts change
Wisdom is a pricy gift
Being wrong feels strange

Look at what I did and said
When I thought I knew
The opinions that I had
Till my heart met you

~~~G~~~

If you believe in fate, don't be scared.
And if you don't, ignore what you feel.
If fate was ever seizably bared,
It's here and now, it's calling and real.

If you believe in destiny, jump.
And you'll be caught before you fall ill.
The road of life goes on with a bump.
And if you don't believe, just stay still.

If you believe in God's greater plan
You can't ignore the signs everywhere.
If you're a nonbeliever, you can.
And just pretend that no signs are there.

If you believe in things meant to be
That nothing ever happens by chance
Then you believe the same thing as me
Then you believe it's time now to dance.

~~~G~~~

Nothing between us is harmless
Nothing, not even a look
The mere description shows far less
Than the restraint that it took
To simply say what we're doing
It can't convey what we do
Those harmless words that you're chewing
Don't tell about me and you
They fail to capture the feeling
That makes us gasp, burn and fall
And if they were more revealing
You wouldn't speak them at all

~~~G~~~

The weight of your head on my chest at night
The stuff that my daydreams are made of
When did we stop trying to make this right?
I thought what is worth it will pay off

The weight of your lips on my flesh and hair
That's what keeps my lifelines in motion
It's never been easy, it isn't fair
But I'd give it all my devotion

The weight of your fingers against my own
Is more than what you can still give me
I hate how pain lingers when I'm alone
Oh, why can't you be alone with me?

~~~G~~~

Boy, I'm damn good at hurting
People closest to me
With the truth or through flirting
It's my great specialty

I'm a master at saying
What takes out all the fun
And instead of them staying
I make everyone run

I'm a master at making
Those feel bad who are nice
If I'm honest or faking
Via silence or lies

~~~G~~~

Ich hab dich verloren
Vermutlich für immer
Die Schuld macht es schlimmer
Ich hab doch geschworen
Für dich da zu bleiben
Und alle Dämonen
Die tief in uns wohnen
Mit dir zu vertreiben

Ich hab uns betrogen
Mit meinem Verlangen
Und hab hintergangen
Wenn auch nicht gelogen
Ich wollte nicht schwach sein
Und dich nicht verletzen
Du wirst mich ersetzen
Und ich allein wach sein

~~~G~~~

What do we want to believe?
Am I all blind and naive?
I really thought I was smart
Until life tested my heart
Those vicious circles we're in
They're not the worst place I've been
But still confusing as hell
How to proceed, I can't tell

~~~G~~~

Head versus body; it's a curse
We failed again, and so much worse
When failing better was the plan
But it felt good as few things can
Whenever all my guard just slips
And I embrace you with my lips
I feel alive because of you
You can't deny you feel it too

~~~G~~~

Fuck, what just happened?
What did we do?
Yes, I was teasing
And touching you
I didn't mean to
Maybe I did
I didn't think you'd
Go through with it
I was too close and
You were too hot
You changed position
Or did you not?
All of a sudden
My hand was there
And you moved closer
I don't know where
All of your clothes went
There was just skin
Fuck, what just happened?
I took you in
And you were perfect
Beautiful, pure
Why did we go there?
I can't be sure
And then you left me
Maybe for good
My heart was racing
Misunderstood?
Bad, misbehaving
Mistreating you
Fuck, what just happened?
What did we do?

~~~G~~~

There is no right path ahead
Only wrong ways to choose
If I stop walking instead
I've got all paths to lose
There is no sign I can trust
No step's really that safe
Don't want to walk but I must
Guess I'm forced to be brave

There is no right path ahead
Only wrong ways to walk
Every step makes me sad
I need actions, less talk
There is no good place in sight
Just a wide range of pain
Sometimes you can't get it right
When you're picking your lane

~~~G~~~

It is nice to touch a naked breast
To make my lonely fingers rest
In that sweaty place between your thighs
Exactly where your passion lies

It is nice to kiss you and to see
You're pretty damn aroused by me
And it's good to see what joy I bring
By barely doing anything

So I kiss your neck, inhale your scent
It's hours well and nicely spent
Though I'm not at home and not at peace
You're helping me to breathe and ease

It is nice of you to ask what's wrong
You understand I'm far from strong
If you wonder what is hurting me

Your hands don't fit mine perfectly

~~~G~~~

Are you the one who makes my heartbeat less steady?
Or makes me laugh until I roll on the floor?
Who's just as weird as me and just as pathetic?
Makes me consider things I disliked before?

Are you the one who shows me public affection
Although that's never really been what I do?
Who's just as magnetized as me by attraction
That sets the air alight between me and you?

And if I've never really been a romantic
And what I wanted was the comfort of trust
Why am I now so uncontrolled and so frantic?
When it is not at all about sex or lust?

~~~G~~~

If luckiness was liquid
If there was bottled bliss
A fluid, clear and frigid
To model what I miss

No doubt, I would be drinking
In hasty, slurping sips
The only thought worth thinking
Is longing for your lips

~~~G~~~

Ich liege hier im Bett, auf dass die Dunkelheit mich schlucke
Mich zudeckt und versteckt, während ich mich verzieh und ducke
Ich weiß voll blanker Angst, dass ich am Morgen wieder steh'n muss
Es wird von mir verlangt, dass ich stets funktionier'n und geh'n muss
Ich liege in der Nacht, die mich umhüllt und in mich eindringt
Wie eine dunkle Macht, die mich erfüllt und stumm zum Schrei'n bringt
Ich liege neben mir, weil in mir drin alles verflucht ist
Und bin ich wirklich hier, dann weil die Hölle ausgebucht ist

~~~G~~~

Don't ask me why I'm so blue
It doesn't matter to you
Keep your politeness and smile
It's never been worth my while

Don't act as if we were friends
You do not care how it ends
We barely talk, so why now?
Don't think you know me somehow

~~~G~~~

When I feel far from feeling carefree
I can't pretend and smile as if
Why must life always mock and dare me
When I've still got so much to give?

I'll be a fan and a supporter
When I believe we're meant to be
I'll give my final breath and quarter
If something feels this right to me

As for the darkness that I carry
Sometimes it really carries me
Down to a place where no one's merry
Where I might spend eternity

As for eternity and dying
They slowly start to lose their scare
While I've been learning, I've been trying
It's getting harder still to care

I've given much to chosen many
I've been an open book to few
While I can be a bit uncanny
I'm also always real and true

The thing I beg from my creator
Is compensation for my worth
The cloudy thought of then and later
Can't be what keeps me on this Earth

~~~G~~~

Scared but bold, this is what I told you:
When you're old, I still wanna hold you
When I'm done, I will still escort you
When I run, it is always toward you
When I bleed, I'll still be your tall me
When in need, you can always call me
Shy but strong, I'll be caring, giving
All life long, till my heart stops living

~~~G~~~

If you want to, grow and be new
Don't lose that light in your eyes
I still want you, that's all I do
I'll live your truths and your lies

If you're angry, share it, you'll see
I'm here to soften your blows
All you can't be, be it through me
Our limits God only knows

I'm not at all
Ready to go
Don't let me fall
I love you so

I got lucky, few ever are
Cause for that light in your eyes
Oh you drugged me, dragged me so far
Your hand will always suffice

If you want to, change and be strange
You're so much more than a name
Stock and sort you, shift, rearrange
I'll still want you all the same

~~~G~~~

The very first thing that I do
Each morning is to think of you
Before the daylight meets my eyes
Before I move my arms or thighs
Before I know the time or day
Before I know if I'm okay
When I'm still dizzy, numb and blind
It's always you that's on my mind
I want to hold you, have you near
And share with you each smile or tear
Why did there have to be a catch
When even our birthdays match?

~~~G~~~

As close to my dreams
As on the very first day
The best thing it seems
I'll ever get is okay
Three decades of this
Are really more than enough
Please let me leave here fast
And let me sleep at last

I'm all I can be
But it's the world that is strange
I've always been me
With no intention to change
Accept my last kiss
It's out of longing, not love
Please let me leave here fast
And let me sleep at last

~~~G~~~

I am a zombie, I guess
A walking body, a mess
But I'm experienced too
It's not the first time with you

They say when you cannot get
Somebody out of your head
No matter if it's unfair
Maybe they're meant to be there

And while I guess that I'm wrong
And I'll just have to be strong
Somehow I'm willing to fight
For something feeling so right

Now I have fought in the past
For things I couldn't make last
I really thought I was through
But then I had to meet you

While I am still insecure
And it's absurd to be sure
It's been a while since my fall
Now I'm prepared to give all

And every morning I miss
This face I'm longing to kiss
All day, whatever I do
I want to share it with you

I should be quiet, I guess
But I'm a zombie, a mess
And while still hurt and in tears
More filled with life than in years

~~~G~~~

I wrote a list of things to do
While trying not to think of you
It's laundry, work, that kind of stuff
To keep me busy though it's tough
The thought of you won't let me be
Withdrawal symptoms torture me
But I keep crossing items out
The list is what it's all about
And I keep keeping out of bed
While you are always in my head

~~~G~~~

Right there in my bed lies
A stranger with dead eyes
His face calm but dying
His gaze terrifying

Right there on my mattress
A stranger who matters
For years I have been there
But I'm nowhere in there

~~~G~~~

There is this theory
That seems absurd to me
That souls get split in two
When they arrive on Earth

But if I thought this true
Without a doubt I knew
My second half was you
My better half since birth

~~~G~~~

The way you touch me is fucking crazy
The way you fuck me is touching too
In recent years I have gotten lazy
But I give all when I am with you

I love the way that you sigh and tremble
Much like my lips when they're near your breasts
Unlike the angel that you resemble
You're not as tough as your look suggests

Your body's great, there's no need to hide it
And ever think that you're not enough
And not just when I am deep inside it
Do I believe that it's really love

~~~G~~~

Stell deine tausend Fragen
Woran hast du gedacht?
Ich will dir alles sagen
Was mich zum Menschen macht

Am Schluss ist es letztendlich
Ja nicht der Schmerz der bleibt
Gefühle sind vergänglich
Egal wie sehr gehyped

Egal was ich gemacht hab
War jeder Augenblick
Den ich mit dir verbracht hab
Ein Augenblick voll Glück

Und wer bin ich zu sagen
Was gut und richtig ist?
Ich weiß, man sollte wagen
Für das was wichtig ist

Es fällt so schwer zu schweigen
Wenn man so sehr vermisst
Dir jeden Tag zu zeigen
Wie wundervoll du bist

Es ziehen sich die Stunden
Zu schweigen wär Betrug
Die Zeit heilt viele Wunden
Und Zeit hab ich genug

Ich weiß, wenn ich nicht schreibe
Verlier ich den Verstand
Ich geb nicht auf, ich bleibe
Doch fehlt mir deine Hand

~~~G~~~

Shut your mouth now, stupid man
Thought that you were clever then
Keep your poison stored within
Please don't tear what's way too thin
Shut your pie hole, eat some pie
Don't you ponder if and why!

~~~G~~~

Tell you what's on my mind?
Well you, obviously.
Wish I was deaf and blind
But no, I had to see,
Hear, feel and taste and smell ...
Forgive, I shouldn't speak.
I simply know too well,
I've held all that I seek.

~~~G~~~

Making each other better
Ain't that what it's about?
Growing through someone's presence
Though we could live without

Sharing what makes us special
Isn't that worth a lot?
Teaching and then receiving
All of the skills we've got

Making each other better
Ain't that why we are here?
Taking and seizing chances
Wherever they appear

~~~G~~~

I got the closeness I prayed for
I got the strength that I craved
From someone I would have stayed for
Because of how they behaved

I got the tender embraces
The feelings that I once knew
No matter how my heart races
Yours mustn't race for me too

~~~G~~~

I wish I had a copy machine
With special settings there on the screen
I'd put you in, get two of you out
All problems solved, no IFs and no doubt
I'd take the black and white copy too
That's quite enough as long as it's you

~~~G~~~

Your hand fits mine so perfectly
A small thing, but of worth to me
And all those words you always find
As if you always read my mind
They show me something I am missing
That's not about a friend or kissing
I trust you and I don't know why
You lift me up, you make me fly
And catch me, hold me, pull me through
It's all so natural with you
So when we're close the way we shouldn't
I'd love to give you all but couldn't
I know you trust me when I say
That you look more than just okay
In fact, I love the things I see
When you're right there in front of me
You're not just sexy or a cutie
Please never doubt your stunning beauty

~~~G~~~

Your eyes explain how lost you've gotten
Within a heart so burned and rotten
My chest is no safe place for you
You have to leave, you know you do
And while your light blue eyes still show me
How deeply you would love to know me
Your more than perfect lips stay sealed
At least until what's good has healed

~~~G~~~

I'm dead now. Can you feel it too?
I died at last through leaving you.
For years I've wondered how to live;
I've tried to gather and to give.
It's over now. My body stays.
But I feel gone. I've lost my ways.

~~~G~~~

They say in the end it will all be good
And if it's not good, it is not the end
And I'm so afraid of what feels so great
And all of the rules we would have to bend
I'm certain that I'll have to let you go
You make me feel good in the worst of ways
That's one bitter truth that we have to know
You will have to go, so I count the days

~~~G~~~

Just say what's on your mind, God dammit!
You're driving me insane
If there's an honest guy, I am it
Just keep your message plain

If we are over and you know it
Just tell me and we're done
If you've made up your mind, just show it
Your guessing game's no fun

~~~G~~~

You're everything I asked for
I didn't ask for him
You didn't ask for me to come your way
But in the end you wanted me to stay
But knew your path too well to go astray
You won't betray
What you and him
Still have today
And it's okay
I'll live
I'll give
I'll forgive
Perfect people, terrible timing

~~~G~~~

My sweet one, very soon
We'll have a choice to make
Between a lot of hurt
And a big mistake

I'm sorry that I'm here
I'm sorry for the ache
I'm sorry that a flirt
Caused so much to break

I wish we'd have a choice
A chance that we could take
But there is only hurt
Or a big mistake

~~~G~~~

The world is not like you and me
My baby, we are different
We never crave for ecstasy
Just for the pain to stop

I wish I was a better guide
I'm merely here to listen
To keep your options open wide
And put your heart on top

~~~G~~~

Come and kill me tonight
Come, fulfill me tonight
Be the absence of light
In my nightmare

Come on, bite me tonight
Come, ignite me tonight
Be my struggle, my fight
Take me right here

~~~G~~~

When you can't find the words to say, say nothing
When you haven't made up your mind, be still
Far too many will raise a voice for something
That they don't understand
And still speak ill

~~~G~~~

I’m starting to forgive
Forgive me if I shouldn’t
You chose for me to live
And otherwise I wouldn’t

Why do you bring them back?
They didn’t make me better
If circles are my trek
Why do the steps still matter?

~~~G~~~

You want to talk about us
I’ve heard that phrase before
The implications hurt me
Too deeply to ignore

It seems at last we're over
We had a long good run
But that's what always happens
When two are having fun

You want to talk about us
And do it face to face
My chest is getting tighter
My heartbeat screams for space

~~~G~~~

I wish I could guide you
You're no longer here
I once was inside you
Your legs pulled me near
Soft pressure from behind
That's pleasure hard to find
The tension and the blow
A dream from long ago

~~~G~~~

I'm done
I'm fucked
I can't
A lot goes right and I'm ungrateful
Those little things all seem so hateful
I'm disappointed
They don't know
I let it show
When I'm alone

I'm done
I'm fucked
I can't
This loneliness is killing quickly
I'm out of power, weakly, sickly
I'm out of options
Full of fear
I need you here
I hate my phone

~~~G~~~

You've given me a lot
I realized that lately
A lot of things I asked for
Except for one to date me

Good weather and new friends
Great chances I should take
Why do I lack the strength?
I'm paralyzed by ache

~~~G~~~

You're scared of drama, which is why
You shy away from me
You know that I'm aroused by you
In fact, who wouldn't be?

I cannot change the way you feel
But I can tell you this:
I'm not a haunted teenage boy
Who'd die to get a kiss

And though it's true that I love sex
(I really really do)
It's not the biggest thing in life
It's not as big as you

~~~G~~~

You say it's not personal
I say you're wrong
My life's always personal to me
And you should know first of all
Feelings are strong
And I feel the worst of them truly

~~~G~~~

I'm not afraid to speak my mind and tell you how I'm feeling
If we don't want to stay all blind, those feelings need revealing
I'm able to communicate, you don't need to remind me
And when I'm lost and out too late, it's up to you to find me

~~~G~~~

The sex truly is amazing
You always come back for more
I'm truly the lucky one here
You're beautiful

You're cute when you're getting sleepy
Attractive beyond compare
No clue why you chose to choose me
But I don't care

You say you don't want to end this
And fuck me until we die
Don't know if you're only joking
It bothers me

You know that I want the real thing
You know that I'm hard to get
You're easy to fall in love with
You're scaring me

~~~G~~~

I'm so annoying
Because I'm lonely
I've got too much time on my hands

I want to see you
Or anybody
But it doesn't mean that we're friends

So I keep asking
Way way too often
But my days are terribly long

One simple hour
Feels like a weekend
And I know I come off too strong

~~~G~~~

If one day I swallowed poison or jumped off some stupid bridge
There'd be people who'd be sorry, and I know exactly which
But the ones who would have pushed me with their actions or their words
Wouldn't even know what happened, wouldn't get how much it hurts

~~~G~~~

Ich vermisse dich und alles was du mir einmal gegeben hast
Dank dir bin ich jetzt einer, der nur jammert und sein Leben hasst
Dank dir fehlt mir der Antrieb, meine Träume auszubauen
Meine Augen auszuwischen, in die Zukunft zu schauen

Und ich hasse dich und dass ich nicht der war, der es beendet hat
Ich hasse, dass ich so viel Liebe blind an dich verschwendet hab
Dank dir fehlt mir der Mut um eine andere zu lieben
Nur der Schutt, den du nicht brauchtest – mehr ist mir nicht geblieben

~~~G~~~

I just wanna go home
But I don't know where home is
I just wanna be safe
I just wanna be me

And I can't be myself
Even when with my homies
When I can't be with you
I can never be free

~~~G~~~

When I think of how much of my life
I've been desperate, lonely and crying
When I count all the years that I've lived
All surrounded by thoughts about dying

When I think of the people I've met
Who were aching and broken and praying
For the nightmares around them to end
But their demons were usually staying

When I think of how much you don't know
Of this lifestyle of silent degrading
It just aches me that you'll never see
How so many of us are just fading

~~~G~~~

She finds her movements deflected
Her spine aligned with the wall
It's not what she had expected
It doesn't matter at all

He pulls her close at the center
Both hands embracing her waist
The jogging pants that he lent her
Slide to the floor without haste

His mouth goes straight for the treasure
Between her trembling thighs
Turns her surprise into pleasure
Till screams are born form her sighs

~~~G~~~

Why are the most important words
We need to hear so rarely spoken?
Who doesn't know how much it hurts
When futures, hearts and dreams get broken?

Why are we silent when we should
Speak up for those who lost their voices?
Why don't we say the words we could?
Why do we make the wrong damn choices?

~~~G~~~

What good is a nightfall when I can't put my hand
On someone else's head and watch them fall asleep
The tips of my fingers caressing without haste
A body next to mine that I would like to keep

What good is a soft kiss when it might be the last
When someone else's lips are not a part of me
No matter how perfect, how breathtaking they taste
When they will never stay within this heart of me

What good is a whisper when all the words are lies
A promise of a future that will not come true
What good is perfection when it is not to last
When all I'll ever have will be the thought of you

~~~G~~~

Are you scared of me?
Be honest, what do you see?
Is there something in my eyes that frightens you?
I don't understand
Why would you push back my hand?
Hurting you is something I would never do

~~~G~~~

You keep explaining how much I am worth
But it seems I always must compete
So please explain to me how on this Earth
Do you make me feel so incomplete?

~~~G~~~

I want to be part of the problem
A part of the reason you hate them
I want to be more in the end
I don't want to be just a friend

~~~G~~~

What good is time when you can't share it
Or being free when you can't bear it
What good is money on your tray
When you won't spend it anyway

~~~G~~~

You're in the place I wanna be
The guy you're holding isn't me
You both enjoy what I adore
What I've discovered long before
You're so damn pretty
You're so damn pretty

You're good at everything you do
Oh how I wish that I was you
I hope he does appreciate
The reasons why he earns my hate
You're so damn pretty
You're so damn pretty

You're on vacation, I am not
Sitting at home is all I've got
Sure, I've got money, I could fly
If no one comes along, then why
You're so damn pretty
You're so damn pretty

~~~G~~~

I know this story, I know this song
I say I'm sorry, you play along
And then you leave me and fight your thirst
And I can't blame you – I did it first

I cannot love you, you have to go
I always wish that it wasn't so
I wish you'd stay here and be my friend
But you need closure, need things to end

I lose your friendship, I lose your sex
While you take off and you fuck your ex
And I can't blame you – I did it first
That's why you leave me, and that's the worst

~~~G~~~

No, it's not that my soul is so complicated
It makes sense in a way, and that's why I hate it
Yes, it's dark but familiar, I know the dangers
But I see how it would be confusing strangers

See, I'm not that afraid of unknown attraction
It's the things that I've already seen in action
That have failed many times, that I can't agree to
So my soul says it doesn't make sense to meet you

~~~G~~~

You're in the darkest place, we get it
You opened up, please don't regret it
We'll do our best to keep you stable
And give you strength if we are able
You're not a burden, don't you say that!
I understand your hope has faded
As long as there's a chance, let's take it
I trust that you and I can make it
But if you choose to go, go proudly
Not with a firework, not loudly
And be aware that it will break us
And it will feel like you forsake us
And our worlds will get much darker
This day will always stay a marker
Of how we let things get so gray here
That you decided not to stay here

~~~G~~~

Come home with me
You know what will follow
Undressed like Apollo
Alone with me

We'll moan, you'll see
The horse and the rider
With eyes getting wider
Ride home with me

~~~G~~~

I'm fucking scared of where this leads to
I know it's working now and here
The future might, however, change you
And it's the kind of change I fear

You're so damn young and I have witnessed
How people don't anticipate
The paths they'll choose because they fit best
Until it's always far too late

I'm petrified by how I love you
And how you love me in return
My head says 'No' to what I must do
I've caught the spark, now I must burn

~~~G~~~

Remember?
You had dreams
Now you only live through going to extremes
Only the rush keeps you alive, that's how it seems
You keep going, you're going so far
Far away from who you think you truly are

Remember?
You had fun
Now you're only ever scared and on the run
Only the flight keeps you alive, that's how it's done
You keep going, you're going so fast
Far away from everything you hoped would last

~~~G~~~

I need you to be damaged
If not, how could you understand
What life feels like for someone
Always trying to pick up themselves?

I need you to have suffered
If not, how could you ever know
What pain feels like for someone
Who just hasn't felt okay for years?

I need you to have been there
If not, how could you be with me?
You need to know exactly
What it's like for me to live this way

~~~G~~~

Your demons aren't louder than all of me combined
I know your dreams and demons have always been entwined
Their roars are loud, I know that - but I am loud as well
And if they try to break me, I'll send them back to hell

Your demons, though immortal, they can be beat and tamed
Let me inside those dungeons and never be ashamed
I told you that I want you, not just the sparkling part
And I'll kick out those demons and occupy your heart

~~~G~~~

The grass is always greener in the daylight
But I'm not getting up before it's midnight
And I don't leave my bed unless I need to
But sometimes I just have to wash and eat too

I'm told the grass is green but I don't see it
If that's the color that it is, so be it
For me, the grass is gray because it's night here
All color seems away more than a lightyear

~~~G~~~

I'm good at many things
And great at quite a few
But I'm just bad at living
I'm bad at pulling through

I'm smart and I'm creative
And mostly I am nice
But when it comes to life
It seems too high a price

I waste my time and skill
I barely even move
I'm terrible at living
I'm sorry, that's the truth

~~~G~~~

Sometimes it all really seems to fit
It's all fresh and new
And it's not just you
And they too like the things you do
You spend time and laugh
And it might be love
And then it suddenly all breaks down
With one wrong word said
Or one cigaret
And with regret you must realize
You had closed your eyes
All you loved was lies

~~~G~~~

I wake up to your peaceful breaths
See your bare legs embrace my blanket
Without you I've died many deaths
Now your rear's asking me to spank it
I lie still though and let you sleep
There's no shortage of time to spank you
It's been years since love felt so deep
I can't think of a way to thank you
You're a painting I couldn't paint
If I tried all my life to learn it
The most devilish type of saint
It costs all that I've got to earn it
I get up and I kiss your head
Search the fridge for a meal to serve you
You can eat while you're still in bed
You're a queen and I must deserve you

~~~G~~~

What do you want with a guy like me?
Yes, I'm clever, mature and funny
I'd treat you well if you called me honey
But I'm as broken as one can be

What do you want with a man like this?
Who is gentle but also naughty
I'm fair and nice to the one who caught me
And I lay worlds into every kiss

What do you want with the writing one?
Creativity grows from sorrow
I'd love to promise you a tomorrow
But who can say when my mind is gone?

~~~G~~~

Please love me twice as hard
When I look at myself with disgust
When I don't understand how you do it
Love me

Please hold me all night long
If you have to, stay up and don't ask
When I can't miss your touch for a moment
Hold me

Please listen to my tears
When I don't know how else to explain
What is raging and killing inside me
Listen

Please love me twice as hard
When I feel like a loser again
When I can't understand why you're with me
Love me

~~~G~~~

I'm so restlessly empty
Without constant distraction
If you tell me I can't be
That's a common reaction
There's so much that I could do
I just have to begin shit
You mean well but please would you
Just shut up for a minute
Or a day or a decade
Cause they all feel the same here
Time's a ghost with a black blade
Killing those who remain here
Time's no friend and won't heal me
Ghosts are not into healthcare
And if you can still feel me
You're ahead of myself there

~~~G~~~

Life is all about choices
Some will break you for sure
But if not given voices
What would people endure?

Life is making decisions
Some are good, some are wrong
But I couldn't envision
Me just playing along

~~~G~~~

What's worse? To love and be rejected
Or never love and live at all?
For what is love when you dissect it
But all the things that make you fall?

~~~G~~~

You're so damn perfect because you know me
Because you show me every day
That you have got what it takes to blow me
To blow my mind and me away

You're all I need and I know that's cheesy
But it's not easy being me
You've really mastered each way to please me
And be as perfect as can be

~~~G~~~

You're looking at the sleeping pills
That used to give you doubts and chills
Play with the package, wonder how
Then lock them up again for now

Another afternoon goes by
By now your hair is almost dry
It's time to do what you do best
And just get ready for your guest

Another man between your legs
You know for him it's only sex
For you it's time not spent alone
Or with your mother on the phone

He falls asleep on top of you
His heartbeat's what you listen to
While you enjoy his steady breath
For now distracting you from death

~~~G~~~

Say, what does she have that I can't give?
Why is she a reason now to live?
Why can't I revive the broken you
When there's nothing that I wouldn't do?

Say, what do you feel in her embrace
That brings peace now to your tortured face?
Is it what I look like or my voice?
Will I ever know why she's your choice?

~~~G~~~

Drops of rain can bring much life
Yet everyone's complaining
I like it when it's raining

Drops of blood are seen as pure
But sometimes they're infected
And death must be expected

~~~G~~~

The sound from the stage is loud
I'm part of a cheering crowd
The bass makes my heartbeat jump
My ears ache

Whenever I'm on my own
I never feel this alone
I thought that this would be fun
My mistake

~~~G~~~

The way my heartache functions, you'll never understand
Respect is what I ask for, in fact, what I demand
I'm not just hurt by cheating - a lot of things cause pain
Because you'll never get that, you're calling me insane

~~~G~~~

I am a cunning linguist
A stunning cunnilinguist
My mouth molds moans
My mind mild mist
Too insecure?
I do insist!
If your head's clear
You clearly missed
The point that my head
Could have kissed

~~~G~~~

Do you believe in the light at the end of the tunnel?
Do you believe in the tunnel at all?
Do you believe there is something that's worth the stumble?
Do you believe that it's worth it to fall?

Do you expect fate to show you the cards it dealt you
And to explain why your hand was so tough?
Do you demand a reward for the leashes that held you?
Do you believe that your faith is enough?

~~~G~~~

I need a hand that greets me
Without all preconceptions
That cooks for me and feeds me
Each day without exceptions
I need a hand that carries
Half of my many burdens
That takes away and buries
What lurks behind my curtains
I need a hand that molds me
And gives me final shape
A hand that gently holds me
Preventing all escape
I need a hand that grabs me
When I am weak and stumble
That points the way and slaps me
When my good morals crumble
I need a hand that lingers
The way that all hands should
A hand with five soft fingers
Entwined with mine for good

~~~G~~~

Reward is not why I give, it's called live and let live
It's called leave me alone, I've got a life of my own

I do not like what you do, but it's all up to you
I won't tell you to change, although I find your ways strange

~~~G~~~

Some days, you want to smash that mirror
Some days, you don't believe its lies
You really can't be this disgusting
You really can't believe your eyes

Some days, the glass is more than empty
There is no liquid anywhere
Half full, now that's a state that can't be
At least you've never seen it there

Some nights are brutally eventless
You're wide awake, you miss the noise
Sometimes you find someone to make it
But often you don't have the choice

Some lives are not what others seem like
Some lives don't matter much at all
At least that's how you feel about it
Your phone so close, no one to call

Some days, the mirror shows a monster
It smiles with eyes as dead as yours
You're scared to show how much you're broken
You've learned to close and seal all doors

~~~G~~~

It's all bullshit, it's all boring
What I do, it just won't work
I'm so done with dumb ignoring
I'm a half-assed champ like Kirk

Now, Picard, that was a good man
With integrity and style
Even Archer had his moments
Sisko, Janeway, worth my while

I'm the one without a screenplay
Improvising, cheating, lost
Flirting through the whole damn quadrant
At respect's and logic's cost

Life ain't easy on a starship
But it sure ain't better here
If I had a starship waiting
I would surely disappear

~~~G~~~

If I was to die tomorrow
Look what I would leave behind
Lines of loneliness and sorrow
Here for anyone to find

Souls get shattered all too often
Turn to mosaics of shards
There are blows no one can soften
Leaving cracks in gentle hearts

If I was to count my days now
I'd have many that were great
But the truth I'd have to face now
They did not occur of late

I've felt ecstasy and pleasure
Both in friendships and in bed
Lived through joys you couldn't measure
Heard those words so rarely said

I've felt love in both directions
Watched it blossom, grow and die
Life is full of intersections
Roads I took not knowing why

Over time I've lost my focus
Now I'm tortured, broken, sore
I believe in hocus-pocus
Or in happy ends no more

If I left this world for good now
I'd have reached no single goal
I am better understood now
But I'm still a shattered soul

In the end I'll be forgotten
All the memories will fade
All the seeds I planted rotten
Like the promises I made

All mistakes will be deleted
From the surface of this Earth
I feel sad somehow and cheated
By the pointlessness of birth

~~~G~~~

We're all on our way, on different tracks
We float in the wind like plastic bags
The End.

~~~G~~~

The moon was blue and the sea was black
On this night when we talked and talked
We both were tired of looking back
So we both simply walked and walked
The hotel rooms and the city lights
Stayed behind and became so small
The constant noise of the endless fights
Could for once not be heard at all
The sea was black and the moon was blue
Colors that we had shared so long
I felt alright while I walked with you
Don't know why, it just made me strong
The light of dawn pushed the night away
And we shared one last silent sigh
So unprepared for another day
We held hands and we kissed good-bye

~~~G~~~

Come, seduce me, don't be shy
Jab your fangs into my neck
Don't retrieve them if I cry
Pierce my skin and don't hold back

Come, invade me, take me whole
Hold me close and drink me dry
Taste my body, taste my soul
Let me fade with no good-bye

~~~G~~~

Why can't we just fuck and be nice to each other?
We're both out of luck in affairs of the heart
I know I don't love you, but we could be lovers
At least I am honest to you from the start

Why can't we just kiss and then bang on the sofa?
At least I won't leave you as soon as we're done
And yes, it will hurt when it's gonna be over
But thrills from a friend are much better than none

~~~G~~~

The weather today is supposed to be brilliant
That thing in my chest is corrupt but resilient
The summer's too hot and the winter's too weary
And I am too dry to get rusty or teary

When good things are waving, I don't get excited
My life is a party, but I'm not invited
My nights are a circus, the clowns are a-changing
The shows are a mess I spend hours arranging

The end is a shadow that follows my actions
Postponed by the thrill of unscheduled erections
It's there within reach, it's the call that connects us
Familiar fatigue is the thing that attracts us

~~~G~~~

He makes me feel so special
I'm better when he's there
He's more than what I wanted
He doesn't seem to care

He's funny, hot and cute
Reveals the best sides of me
Why can't it be enough?
Why can't he fucking love me?

~~~G~~~

I'm good at naughty, good at nice
I'm good at sentimental
At funny, rough and gentle
At honest, open, real

I am creative, cute and smart
Love cooking, cleaning, kissing
There's nothing you'd be missing
I am the perfect deal

But while I'm all the things above
We shouldn't be neglecting
I know what I'm expecting
To give and get and feel

~~~G~~~

I'm pretty much an open book
Do you, however, speak my tongue?
With every touch, my conscience shook
I've hurt too many and too young

I'm everything you'll ever need
Except convinced that you're the one
A complex, broken book indeed
A world you'll miss when it is gone

~~~G~~~

Another asshole joins the list
Another name, another dick
Another marking on your wrist
Another wound too fresh to lick

You are so good at being bad
You are a devil in the sheets
Always annoyed and always sad
And damn seductive in the streets

They always go the night they come
You make them come a lot
You show them what you've got
And end up all alone
You're desperate, you cry
You're too far gone to lie
When all you want is die

Another pointless day survived
Another hopeless, lonely day
Another quiet night arrived
And you won't sleep much anyway

You push them all so far away
When all you really want is love
No one will tell you you're okay
You'll never ever be enough

They always go the way they come
It's so predictable
You're so despicable
Disgusting and alone
Too desperate to cry
You're too far gone to lie
And all you want is die
Good-bye

~~~G~~~

This is inexcusable
Another heart I broke in two
Another damaged me and you
Again we're through
Unusable
This is such a stupid game
Another pointless argument
Another curse you hardly meant
Apartment rent
It's all the same

~~~G~~~

You watch them take off their clothes
Sometimes you help when they're stuck
Sometimes it's planned, sometimes luck
But most days end with a fuck

Some simply stay in your bed
Some others leave pretty soon
Some like to cuddle and spoon
But all are gone before noon

~~~G~~~

This is what I want to do:
Never think of you again
Never feel this black and blue
Never be a broken man

So I
Throw away your stuff
Get rid of all my love
And never wonder why
We had to say good-bye

This is how I want to be:
Strong and happy on my own
Never think of you and me
Never feel so damn alone

So I
Throw away your things
Get rid of everything that stings
And never wonder why
You left me here to die

~~~G~~~

Perhaps I'm not a good person
God knows I try every day
But all this focus on one thing
Sometimes just gets in the way

Perhaps I'm not all that caring
Perhaps I'm not a good friend
At least sometimes it just seems that
I do not care how things end

I'm too caught up in my own thoughts
To think of others at all
Perhaps I'm not a good person
Perhaps my mind is too small

~~~G~~~

When life is really mean
Kick it in the balls
But don't do that to people
That's wrong

The madness that you've seen
Helps when duty calls
To turn it into kindness
That's strong

~~~G~~~

Blood blending with tears
Emotions lie bared
Held down by those fears
Too scarred and too scared

Pain blending with rage
And flowing in streams
Right out of this cage
To freedom, to dreams

~~~G~~~

The darkest times
You've felt them
The worst of cards
You've held them
The lack of light
You've seen it
The dying one
You've been it
The wrongest words
You've said them
The worst of thoughts
You've had them
The lonely roads
You've run them
The meanest things
You've done them
The oldest friends
You've lost them
The clearest lines
You've crossed them
My God, can you believe it?
The fresh air -
You still breathe it!

~~~G~~~

You can preach all you want, but my body is mine
Mine to please or to beat or destroy
You can judge me or ban me, but I'm not your toy
You can try but you won't cross that line

I can do what I want to my hair or my skin
I can give myself up and die faster
I can choose who I want as my master
And it won't change a thing if you think that's a sin

~~~G~~~

Don't hide your tears when you're upset
Don't hide them when you're hurting
Make sure you mean your compliments
Don't go for shallow flirting
When someone wants to trust in you
Make sure that you respect them
And when you're asked, your words be true
Once said, you can't retract them
Don't smother others with your views
Just know what's right inside you
For by the time the sun goes down
We've all been talked and lied to

~~~G~~~

BE NICE

Be nice, that's all you need sometimes
And it can mean a lot
For some it might change everything
It might be all they've got

Be nice, not to the grinning jerks
Who'll never figure out
That being cool and being tough
Ain't what it's all about

Be nice to those who barely speak
To those who look depressed
If you're not sure, be twice as nice
Don't put things to the test

Be nice to those who never ask
But need you all the same
To those who claim you broke their hearts
And shower you with blame

Be nice to everyone you meet
Unless they're really mean
And even then remind yourself
You don't know where they've been

Be nice and don't expect reward
Just know that you have tried
Give everyone the chance to shine
That most are still denied

~~~G~~~

There's a reason you ask if I'm free tomorrow
And it isn't my milk that you need to borrow
It's the weekend again, make familiar choices
While your head tells you No in annoying voices
Wanna tell me to leave but you won't be able
When I give it to you on the dinner table

~~~G~~~

I've learned to swallow my replies
And not be startled by your lies
And not be angry when I say
That you are pushing me away

~~~G~~~

Send me love, don't send me flowers
Bring affection, don't bring cake
Help me pass those lonely hours
Trust me, I can plant and bake

~~~G~~~

Alone with all your deafening thoughts
Surrounded by a great deal of space
An empty heart and a barely used head
Two dried-up eyes with indifferent gaze

Alone with what you chose to be yours
Surrounded by much less than you need
A skeptic head and an insecure heart
That's way too scared to take chances and bleed

~~~G~~~

And now tear them down
Those walls, one by one
The reasons they stand
Are probably gone

A quick look outside
A whole world to feel
It might be alright
To do this for real

And now let us in
And maybe we'll stay
And maybe you'll see
That we are okay

Walls can be rebuilt
Hearts can be revived
And maybe, who knows
It soon will have thrived

~~~G~~~

You spread your legs, your red lips tremble
You take my hand and lead it to a private place
The begging girl you now resemble
I know tomorrow there'll be sorrow on her face
You want me now, but we both know you
Your pleading sighs and spreading thirst I must ignore
I'm not a jerk, and I must show you
I can be stronger than the men you've met before

~~~G~~~

When I was young
Life was a show
The girl I was
I loved her so
Sometimes I think
Where did she go?
Where did I go?
No way to know

I felt alive
I felt so free
The things I did
Were always me
Sometimes I think
Though silently
Where did I go?
No way to see

~~~G~~~

I pull those jeans off your legs
They aren't needed tonight
And there are cuts on your thighs
No longer hidden from sight
You are embarrassed at first
But I'm not really surprised
Too many others I know
Have those red marks well disguised
I lean in close with a smile
And kiss the lines one by one
And then I work my way up
And kiss those spots much more fun

~~~G~~~

It's just two layers of clothes separating our skin
It's just your layers of pride not yet letting me in
And I am rubbing your back, moving on to your side
And I am eating your breath, see your pupils grow wide

It's just two layers of wrong that I want to break through
I want to tear your walls down, want to do it with you
We are already too close to pull back and move on
So lock your gaze onto mine, let those lips become one

Your hands are hungry for more, they're exploring my face
So let this hunger move on to a different place
Come, let your skin find my touch in the ways that you need
Strip off those layers of fear, let your skin take the lead

~~~G~~~

There is more than one level of empty
My apartment reminds of what can't be
With your scent in the air but no body
I feel used and abused, beat and bloody
And it wouldn't be hard to remember
How we met underneath skys of amber
How my love was the one thing that mattered
Not the trophies and kisses you gathered
I could think of the time when I had you
Not occasional nights with a bad you
It's a dangerous place I won't enter
While my fingers still smell like your center ?

~~~G~~~

I'm very used to losing, I'm very used to loss
So when it comes to choosing, I trust the coin I toss
I'm used to friendships ending and lovers running off
I'm calm and understanding, without a trace of scoff

I know you made an error, misjudged the way you felt
And realized in terror, your heart of ice might melt
I know you feel like running, but please consider this
The night we had was stunning before we shared that kiss

I know you are a good one, I know your heart is pure
A much misunderstood one, and therefor insecure
I felt some kind of bonding, you might become a friend
So when you are responding, be sure of what you end

~~~G~~~

She is the lonely one you wouldn't recognize 'cause she's nice
Once in a while she smiles, so you don't know though she never lies
It rips her soul in two each time that she goes down with a man
But when they're nice to her she always takes her skirt off again
It's not that they're all bad, it's just that she's so sad all the time
And when it's her who starts, another broken heart is no crime
She is a pretty one, but very insecure in a way
And only when it's done, she'll tell you how she's not that okay
Another kiss and tell, she should have known so well what she'd get
The magic of the night led, like so many times, to regret

~~~G~~~

I met you at a bar
And it was loud as hell
If shy is what you are
You know to hide it well
You didn't drink a sip
Because you know I'm clean
We kissed, I bit your lip
The playful way, not mean
We soon escaped the noise
The sterile rooms of chrome
Of all those naughty boys
It's me who took you home

~~~G~~~

You ask what I expect here
I want to be with you
Let's try to be correct here
Love is nowhere on my mind

I want to feel you breathing
You want to feel me too
One weekend of believing
I'm not smitten, I'm just kind

I want to make you tremble
This much I swear is true
The pleasures I resemble
Taste incredible combined

~~~G~~~

Woken up with the weirdest feeling
By an old long-forgotten name
In a way time has done the healing
In a way things are still the same

~~~G~~~

Lovers are always waiting
Waiting to meet again
Lovers are always restless
Women as well as men
Lovers are always lovers
Whether they've met or not
Lovers are always longing
Craving with all they've got

~~~G~~~

What do I do with this life? Damn, I don't know what I'm doing ...
The things that help me survive are sleeping, eating and screwing
And by the end of the day, my bed is crowded or lonely
The company'd be okay, if she was my one and only

How did I manage so long? How come I'm still up and breathing?
I wouldn't say that I'm strong or that I still am believing
And at the end of the day, I'm neither happy nor crying
I've found a slow, gruesome way to disappear without dying

~~~G~~~

You don't need to like my family
You need to accept that I do
They won't have a say in who stays with me
They'll need to accept that it's you

You don't need to love my closest friends
But I'll always keep them around
Be nice and polite to them, shake their hands
Good friends are not easily found

We don't need to share every interest
Just listen to me when I'm psyched
I just need to know that you mean the best
And check out the things that I liked

I don't need a partner who's just like me
You need to be up for the ride
If you want to stay for eternity
I need you to be on my side

~~~G~~~

Why would you disappear
With me still waiting here?
Why would you hand me to the nightmares deep inside?
Why won't you answer me?
Am I supposed to see
Why you have chosen just to vanish and to hide?

I'll let you if I must
But how am I to trust
When those I feel for always leave me to my fears?
My devils eat me whole
Their eyes as black as coal
Who will rebuild me 'till the next one disappears?

~~~G~~~

Maybe I've forgotten love
Forgotten how to do it right
What I feel is not enough
Or maybe I'm afraid to fight
Maybe I've forgotten trust
Forgotten how it feels inside
Maybe I've forgotten lust
Or maybe I just chose to hide


Or maybe love's forgotten me
Forgotten how to make me glow
To make me heal internally
And let me flourish, learn and grow
And maybe trust has let me down
And kicked me where it hurts the most
And maybe lust has lost its crown
For once a queen, it's now a ghost

~~~G~~~

I know you play me
It's easy to see
I play along 'cause
It's nothing to me
You're cute and sexy
But selfish and mean
You're such a princess
And I want a queen

~~~G~~~

Do you have to text while I'm loving you?
Do you have to read while we kiss?
Is this online world really all to you?
What are you expecting to miss?

~~~G~~~

Why can't you love me just like this
I really gave you all there is
I can't be anything but me
But I'd have loved you endlessly
You sliced the mended cracks again
And I'll survive this if I can
Each single fiber that you tore
Was broken many times before
I understand you wanted fun
I'm left with what I'd had and done
Time wasted that I'd saved for you
I don't know why I shaved for you
I cannot understand your mind
But lust is deaf and love is blind
Now I must learn again, my friend
That in the end it's not the end

~~~G~~~

In my wildest dreams I saw you and you made me feel okay
What Lara Croft was to my childhood, you impersonate today
It's reality that haunts me, that's one fucking scary place
They say that one day I'll stop dreaming, and I'll die if that's the case
I am sure that I deserve you, I just have to make that seen
Those who still question if I'm worth you, they are dumb and really mean
I'm a perfect human being, it's my flaws that make me great
And one day you will have to notice, I just hope it's not too late

~~~G~~~

Don't just be nice because you've got an erection
This night will not turn out to your satisfaction
I'm psyched enough to keep me going for ages
And petty flirts are just for newcomer stages

~~~G~~~

She said we wouldn't fuck
I guess she changed her mind
Sometimes I am in luck
And justice sure is blind

She's sitting on my lap
And clearly getting tight
I never need a map
I find that spot alright

She said we wouldn't date
I'm sure she meant it then
But now it's much too late
Somehow I scored again

~~~G~~~

I can't stress this enough: I can't sleep on my own
I'm not asking for love, just hate being alone
I'm repeating myself, but it's not about greed
It's about mental health, it's about what I need

~~~G~~~

The way my body needed you, I didn't think it possible
My arms, my lips, they greeted you, I felt so irresponsible
There was no way to stay away, you'd poisoned me, you'd drugged my heart
I understood the greater good, I knew that I would fall apart

~~~G~~~

So that's what I thought I could read in your eyes
I'm nice but I'm not that attractive
Your honesty's better than feeding me lies
I guess you are simply selective
Now I'm honest too, if at least to myself
I'm hurt and you make me feel ugly
At least you adored all the films on my shelf
I just kinda hoped you would fuck me

~~~G~~~

Don't worry, I'll just hold my own hand
It's not a big deal, I've done it before
The World Wide Web still is my homeland
However I feel, there's stuff to adore

Don't worry, I'll cuddle alone then
It's easily done, it doesn't take much
I'll swallow my pride like a grown man
And have lots of fun, enjoy my own touch

~~~G~~~

I guess you'll have to trust my words
Your smile is more than beautiful
When I invite you late at night
It isn't just a booty call
I know you think I make things up
But I am stunned by who you are
Of all the people that I've met
You are the greatest one by far

~~~G~~~

Come and take my shaking hand
Make my fears take off and land
Take my shirt off, pull me close
Make it clear which path you chose

When my alibis wear thin
Let the evening begin
Make me hold you and believe
That it's love that I receive

Kiss my forehead, close my eyes
Make my mouth repeat your sighs
Press my waist against your own
Make your wild intentions known

Let us meet with gentle thrusts
Till my broken self adjusts
To the rhythm of your heart
To a night as pure as art

~~~G~~~

I feel restless and bored
It's a sign of the times
I am hurt and alone
That's a sign of my crimes
All the love that I lost
I was given too soon
At too low of a cost
At too full of a moon
It's the thrill of the nights
That will make people fall
If not ready to fight
You're not ready at all
I can't start what I know
Will be gone in a while
I won't tell you it's love
With a forced happy smile
If you want me, make sure
That I write happy rhymes
I am broken and bored
It's a sign of the times

~~~G~~~

You ask me why I want you close
My answer is "Why not?"
I know my words are not ideal
But that's the best I've got

I want your body and your time
You know that's all there is
The truth is that I feel relaxed
When we hold hands or kiss

You ask why it is you I chose
The truth is that it's not
Monogamy is for the brave
I simply take what's hot

~~~G~~~

She lies
She lies everytime she explains why she can't
She lies everytime she's too busy

She lies
She lies when she says that it's not the right time
She lies when she says things are tricky

She lies
She lies to the ones who still act like they care
She lies to herself

She lies
And nobody believes her

~~~G~~~

Please give me all of your fake love
I need to pretend that I'm home
Please shower me with soft kisses
And burn me to ashes like Rome

Please hold me like I'm important
I need to pretend that I'm whole
Please tell me that I am pretty
And that I'll accomplish my goal

Please stroke my head while I'm weeping
I need to pretend that you care
I know that's not why you came here
A fantasy I need to share

~~~G~~~

I want us to be sexy, I want us to be cute
Whenever you are with me, I want to world turned mute
I want us to be lovers, I want us to be friends
Make jokes about all others that no one understands
I want us to be partners, to talk about our flaws
To know when we have problems, the world will be on pause
I want your full commitment to everything we need
And that our needs combined will dictate how we proceed
I want us to be naughty, I want us to be sweet
I want us to be cool and produce a lot of heat
I want us to be certain that we're in this for good
And that we're on the same side – this must be understood

~~~G~~~

I don't think I can do it
I think I'm not that strong
I've tried and tried but screw it
I think I've tried too long

I don't think I will make it
I guess I'm out of luck
I don't think I can take it
And I don't give a fuck

~~~G~~~

Oh I hate these empty days
I really truly hate them
No fun or purpose, not a trace
I don't know how to take them

Too much food, too much F5
And nothing that distracts me
Not in the mood for film or life
No one I care for texts me

~~~G~~~

They're piercing through the night
Those eyes that never close
They do not need the light
And this the darkness knows

Insomnia gives life
To thoughts that need to grow
Which ones of them can thrive
The dawn of day will show

~~~G~~~

Forgive me if I'm blunt
Subtleties often fail me
I think you are a cunt
Something I deal with daily

I am in quite a haste
Eloquence takes forever
I don't have time to waste
I prefer someone clever

~~~G~~~

You own a car but never drive
You're only sporty with your tongue
I like to watch your booty bounce while I am sitting

I said "Let's live while we're alive"
You said "The best ones die too young"
So if you gave me HIV, that's only fitting

I lost my ring, you lost your socks
This car is full of useless stuff
It's kind of cramped and kind of old, but good for fucking

Don't wanna know how many cocks
You've hurt in here; you like things rough
And I don't think I really care; you're good at sucking

~~~G~~~

You are a stranger now to me
I used to know what you were thinking
And while I stay away from drugs
You get too comfortable with drinking
I am a fragment of your past
Too insignificant to mention
Twelve gigabytes of pictures say
That once I had your full attention
You are a stranger now to me
And I don't want to get to know you
And I don't care if all those jerks
Would stand in line to kiss and blow you

~~~G~~~

The chamber's dark just like her eyes
Invisible those painful strings
They're woven from deceit and lies
And so she cries and waits for wings

And one by one they start to grow
One only needs a solid pair
To take her where she yearns to go
To freedom up there in the air

~~~G~~~

He'll see you and he'll know
And you will be prepared to show
The bruises and the marks
The firestorms, the endless sparks
He'll see you and he'll get
How lost you were before you met
How hope was found and lost
So many times at such a cost
He'll see you and be strong
And show you how you've all along
Been strong as no girl can
A woman never needs a man
He'll see you and be seen
And he will tell you where he's been
You'll know that he will stay
You'll know that things will be okay

~~~G~~~

Get out of my head, I hate when you do this!
Don't ask why I'm sad, you know what the truth is
Ignore my hot tears, there just aren't any
You've known me for years, you've caused far too many

Get out of my sight, you know you're not needed
Two wrongs can't make right the doubts that we seeded
Ignore how I weep, you've done it so often
It all goes too deep, a blow you can't soften

~~~G~~~

Long before I knew myself
You showed me what I was about
Now I think I understand
The stuff that I can't live without

Things so small I never thought
That they would mean the world to me
Now that I am old and wise
I do embrace them gratefully

~~~G~~~

You stripped me down to a better self
Got rid of all superficial
The way you put my soul on your shelf
Was mutually beneficial
You broke me down to a better me
Ripped off the layers not needed
And for a while there I bleeded
Before my eyes dried and I could see

~~~G~~~

Your face is pretty, your words are nice
It's hard to call you mean names
I tried your service, I paid the price
I truly burst into flames

You taste like heaven, you move like hell
I know I've said this before
I knew the path we walked oh too well
I wish that I was a bore

Your skin is soft and your absence hard
I knew I'd lose right away
You killed my time and my credit card
And I was willing to pay

~~~G~~~

I'm grateful for the pleasure. I'm grateful for the pain.
I'm grateful for mementos I'm certain will remain.
I'm grateful for my downfall. I'm glad you played your part.
I'm grateful for the scars that you carved into my heart.
And if my time is over and happiness is gone
If someone had to kill me, I'm glad you were the one.

~~~G~~~

The veil must fall
Tonight again
A different man
Will make the call

Your sweat will flow
And taste so sweet
The scent of heat
You truly know

It's one on one
Uncovered flesh
A link so fresh
Yet almost gone

~~~G~~~

It's always kind of the same with him
He keeps shying away from what's real
His chance of scoring is rather slim
He is trying his best not to feel

It's always kind of the same with her
She keeps sticking around what she knows
No wonder things stay the way they were
No one's given the chance to get close

It's always kind of the same with you
It is always a bit of a shame
Your dreams don't look like they're coming true
All your rules are obstructing your game

~~~G~~~

It's all okay
Today you move away
And your gentle touch
It used to mean so much

It's quite alright
We couldn't bear the fight
And your hand in mine
Felt natural and fine

It's understood
You didn't feel so good
And your love, your glee
Were once a part of me

It's how it is
I'm not the one you kiss
And your heart, your smile
I owned them for a while

It's over now
I'll live but don't know how
And my hand, my face
It all feels out of place

~~~G~~~

Eight years ago today
You took my worries, you threw them away
Eight years ago today
You made me happy

I thought that you would stay
A thought so loud, there was no need to say
I thought that you would stay
Why couldn't that be

Four years ago tonight
We both admitted we can't make it right
Four years ago tonight
You packed and left me

~~~G~~~

Everyone knows it's just myself I care about
Yes, I alone is what I couldn't live without
What they cannot see:
You're a piece of me

And I'll make sure your cover covers you tonight
And I'll be there to guarantee you dream alright
Please rest peacefully
You're a piece of me

So if you listened to those tattling on the streets
Who think I only care for you between my sheets
I would cease to be
You're a piece of me

~~~G~~~

You say it's you, not me, you're sorry
I'd never understand your story
There is a chance that's true, but try me
No one was ever laughed at by me

I understand that most ignore you
But I will try to be there for you
You're right, I don't know what you're hiding
But you need someone to confide in

~~~G~~~

You are a piece of art
You're more than just an artist
You're beautiful and smart
Got will as well as heart

I do admire drive
I do admire beauty
The strength to beat this life
Do more than just survive

You are a piece of art
And I am just an artist
But from the very start
I knew we shouldn't part

~~~G~~~

You say you've got news, I don't wanna hear it
My throat's getting dry, somehow I can't clear it
Whatever it is, I don't think I'm ready
My hands start to shake, I wish they were steady

~~~G~~~

You and I, we'll always be unfinished
Even though the pain we caused diminished
And I try so hard to be the man that
Your young heart so forcefully demanded
I'm afraid the man you loved has perished
It's too late, he went with those he cherished

~~~G~~~

I'm afraid I can't be there for you
You got laid, he didn't care for you
I'm not here to say I told you so
It is fear that makes me wanna go
I have seen the way you look at me
There has been too much you took from me
I must go because of what I do
Cause I know the way I look at you

~~~G~~~

I feel like crying, like so often
Those dried-out hearts can only soften
The thought of dying is familiar
What doesn't harden you will kill ya

I feel like talking, feel like sharing
With those I know are good and caring
But then again, there's nothing new here
And I don't know what I still do here

~~~G~~~

My bed is calling again
It's calling me pretty names
What can I say? I'm a man
Who's very tired of games
My bed is ready for me
Until the end of the night
We are as close as can be
The only thing that feels right

~~~G~~~

Are you up late at night?
Are you thinking of me?
Every time that we fight
It gets harder to see
What we both saw at first
What we had at the start
Now I've shown you my worst
And we've drifted apart
If we can't make things right
I don't know what to do
I am up late at night
I am thinking of you

~~~G~~~

The longest years of my life
Have no intention to end
The saddest years of my life
Are all around me

And from the very first day
Each day I've begged them to go
But they made clear they would stay
Once they had found me

~~~G~~~

Still so weird to see your face
Like you don't really want to go
Cut me loose if that's the case
Don't leave me stuck

I feel trapped in what we had
It won't return, this much I know
Seeing you just feels so bad
Please give a fuck

~~~G~~~

No, I won't ever love you in spite of your flaws
Your mistakes are what makes you attractive
If you weren't imperfect, I wouldn't stay close
Cause my demons are highly selective

I am way too much damaged to trust anyone
Who has never been close to the border
But if you have been broken and used and alone
Then I think that my trust is in order

~~~G~~~

I'm past the point where I'm expecting disappointment
I've seen it all, I've felt it all
I realize that real life isn't like the movies
My phone stays blank, they never call

I'm past the point where I am past the point of caring
I've cared too little and too much
I've come to see that no one sees me like I see me
Some stay away, some stay in touch

~~~G~~~

Ich dachte, du wärst anders.
Der Fehler lag bei mir.
Ich glaubte, ich sei wichtig.
Ich glaubte, du wärst hier.

Wie all die andern vor dir
Hast du mir aufgezeigt,
Dass ohne Gnade falln muss,
Wer sich nach hinten neigt.

~~~G~~~

There once was a time when you loved me
Your smile, for a while, was for me
And I could have said what I wanted
Whatever I dreamed of, you'd be

There once was a time when I wondered
If you really could be the one
But I wasn't sure and I hurt you
Whatever we had, now it's gone

~~~G~~~

Someone lost, someone found, now let me conquer and guide you
There's no blanket around that can sufficiently hide you
You don't know who to be, it doesn't matter 'cause I do
See, the angel in me becomes a devil inside you

~~~G~~~

If I could only reach you
If you could read my pain
I've got so much to teach you
Before I go insane
If I could only find you
If you could only see
The shadow right behind you
Is not as dark as me
If you could only know that
I long for you and bleed
Then future days will show that
I'm everything you need

~~~G~~~

Someone seen my happiness?
Someone seen my will to live?
More is never really less
I feel worse the more I give

Someone seen my honest smile?
Or a laugh I really meant?
It's been more than just a while
And I don't know where it went

~~~G~~~

Please love me for the both of us today 'cause I can't do it
I see my ugly belly in the mirror and it's bad
I know your love is all that matters when you get down to it
And still I hate myself for every single bite I had

Please love me more than physically, please lie with me and hug me
It's you alone who makes this world a place that I can bear
Please let me taste your sweetest kiss, breathe into me and drug me
That you are here to calm me down is beautiful, not fair

~~~G~~~

Tck tck tck
The clock is ticking
On the wall and in my head
I don't have a watch to look at
Cause I use my phone instead
Tck tck tck
I'm getting older
Leave my future way behind
It's the past I can't get rid of
Where I look, that's what I'll find

~~~G~~~

I don't "just want the one thing"
But I sure want that too
I want the whole damn package
With them as well as you

I don't just want your body
I don't just want your mind
The only thing worth having
Is both of them combined

~~~G~~~

Like the mother cat in winter
Like an oak tree in the storm
I will try to give you shelter
I will try to keep you warm

Like the one who took your balance
Like the home you never had
I will give you all the joy that
You forgot while you were sad

Like a thunderstorm or blizzard
I'll tear down your inner wall
You will feel the kind of soaring
That precedes both rise and fall

~~~G~~~

I'm lonely again tonight
It all seemed alright the other day
My bed is too big for one
The journey goes on, I'm not okay

Sometimes I have lost my will
I'm breathing but still I'm not alive
I drown in the tears I weep
The ocean goes deep and I can't dive

~~~G~~~

My lips on your fingers, my tongue on your hands
Your skin giving in to my silent commands
My mouth on your shoulder, my teeth on your neck
Your body was mine once, I'm taking it back
My breath on your mons as I'm sliding inside
Your movements ensure you've got nothing to hide
My lips tasting thighs that are wet from my kiss
Your body is shaking, I love it like this

~~~G~~~

I'm down so much
Sometimes it seems
I more or less
Just live in dreams

I cry so much
Internally
And no one else
Will know or see

I hurt so much
I hurt so bad
It's not just now
I'm not just sad

~~~G~~~

You do not need to say a word
I hear your voice, I understand
Tonight you've come to end my world
And it is yours alone to end

There is no need to speak aloud
I see your eyes, I know it's true
I wanted joy I'm not allowed
All joy I have is tied to you

~~~G~~~

So this is it then, I suppose
Again it wasn't me you chose
And while I'll miss your kissing touch
I'm not at all surprised as such

I didn't think that this would last
So pack your things and pack them fast
You taste much better than the rest
In many ways you are the best

So this is it then, like before
You'll go from loving to ignore
And while I know you told me so
I cannot watch you as you go

~~~G~~~

I think of you five times a day
Of how you are too far away
The distance doesn't matter much
I miss your company, your touch

I know you've got a lot to do
The distance doesn't bother you
Your day is full of tasks and glee
With little time to think of me

My day is long when I'm alone
So I keep staring at my phone
And when I go to sleep in tears
I've missed you for what feels like years

So when you call the other day
And ask me if I feel okay
I'm hurt but I can't let you know
The years that I have missed you so

~~~G~~~

You cannot make things last forever
This is the saddest truth I know
No matter what you do to keep them
One day they all will have to go

Now there's a chance that you won't see it
Because you go before the rest
And someone else might do the missing
I am not sure which way is best

~~~G~~~

Keep your promises to yourself
I've been told many in the past
Always say what is on your mind
Don't hold back, tell me all and fast

Leave all boundaries far behind
Understand what I've done and seen
Where I've failed and what price I've paid
And with how many that I've been

Put your triggers and all your doubts
On the table for me to see
Wipe your face, lose what isn't real
Come all naked and pure to me

Never lie, never hide the truth
Never tell me we'll be alright
Let me know what you really feel
Here and now, each and every night

~~~G~~~

All those beautiful songs that speak right to my heart
Raise me up, bring me down, sometimes tear me apart
All the magic that lies in those powerful words
I can never foresee if it helps me or hurts

~~~G~~~

I don't wanna be people; people usually suck
Call me weird or eccentric, call me lazy or stuck
If you don't really like me, well, that's only my luck
But do not call me people; people usually suck

~~~G~~~

Dark brown hair in the April air
And shoulders meant to be kissed
You're the queen of the beauty fair
A mistress not to be missed

Wisdom lies in your cheeky eyes
Your lips make clear they've been tried
Shaped by sighs of a thousand guys
You're both a gift and a guide

You belong to the good and strong
Oh how I want you to choose me
Bring me back to where I belong
Just take me, comfort me, use me

~~~G~~~

It's unimportant if he's friendly
Or if he drinks himself to sleep
If he will try to understand me
And make a promise that he'll keep

I do not care if he is faithful
If he is honest or polite
Or if his jokes are just distasteful
And if he always thinks he's right

It doesn't matter if he beats me
And if he lets me pay his debts
If he just knocks me up and leaves me
Or rapes my kids without regrets

I guess I'm stupid, but we all try
I'll have to live with all the lies
Cause all I wanted was a tall guy
I don't deserve a man who's nice

~~~G~~~

Another lover is gone
Another one I loved is now on the run
I didn't love them enough, it was fun
Now it's tough

Another one got too hurt
I have to ask myself why I always flirt
I heard the sirens inside, red alert
Well, I tried

Another heart got a bruise
And it is not the only part I abuse
She needs a man she can trust, fill my shoes
Feed her lust

Another promise went bad
Another one remembers now what we had
And now she says her good-bye and is sad
So am I

~~~G~~~

It seems
Like I'm surrounded by emptiness
And that's my life
Congratu-fucking-lations

My dreams
Are so damn boring, I can't feel less
I lost my drive
And cause for celebrations

You know
You really don't know me after all
And that's alright
I will get by without you

Just go
I'll cook alone and eat half the bowl
And when it's night
I will not dream about you

~~~G~~~

Come over to my place
Let's watch another DVD
And I will watch your face
That's much more fun for me to see

Come over right away
And I will cook some potluck meal
Let's never waste a day
A lonely night has no appeal

~~~G~~~

Will you enjoy the way I kiss you
Or won't we kiss at all tonight?
My beard might be too long and tickle
I may not get my timing right

Will there be comments on my belly?
And will my dick get hard again?
And if it doesn't, will it matter?
What do you look for in a man?

Will we just sit in awkward silence?
Will I just bore you with my tale?
Will I be charming or annoying?
And will I know my efforts fail?

Will you just fuck me out of boredom
And never call or write again?
Or will you fall for me completely?
What do you look for in a man?

~~~G~~~

I miss you and I guess I shouldn't
You craved my loving, but I wouldn't
You taste so flawless, look amazing
It's a dilemma that we're facing
My future will not be about you
But I don't wanna be without you

~~~G~~~

Send me all your naughty pictures
Send me all your dirty dreams
Every thought you couldn't show them
'cause they're frightened by extremes

Give me everything important
Things you usually don't do
Every bit that makes you special
Every part that makes you you

~~~G~~~

Clothes sliding to the floor
You're beautiful, I love you so much more
You close the bedroom door
You're beautiful

Your perfect silhouette
So beautiful, I'm grateful that we met
You join me on my bed
So beautiful

When you're inside of me
It's beautiful, you are igniting me
Your lips are guiding me
It's beautiful

And when we go to rest
You're beautiful while sleeping on my chest
These moments are the best
You're beautiful

~~~G~~~

The thing that they call longing, that's when I think of you
I see your face before me, no matter what I do
The boy-ish, girl-ish features, the right amount of both
The androgynous body in simple, comfy clothes
You'd share each single letter, if longing had a name
This feeling and your absence, to me they are the same
Those quiet conversations, I know they won't come true
The thing that they call longing, that's when I think of you

~~~G~~~

You are the last to enter the train
Your short black hair is wet from the rain
You're really young, mid-twenties at best
Your t-shirt's tight, promoting your breasts
You look at me, no words but I get
Your hair is not the only thing wet

~~~G~~~

You're not a bad choice
No strange, unknown voice
I've had you before
Many times

I've lost love and lust
At least you I trust
It's time that I pay
For my crimes

~~~G~~~

I've been deconstructed, I've been analyzed
I have been demantled, I've been sacrificed
I've been more than broken, I have been destroyed
All my great achievements gone, replaced with void

Here I lie now, bleeding, but I won't bleed dry
Self-sustaining system, trained for getting by
Here I lie now, waiting, for the one who can
Build me up from scrap and make me whole again

~~~G~~~

I've known your face for many weeks
Since yesterday I know your breasts
I'm way too nice for hidden peeks
I guess I passed your patience tests

I like the way your friendship tastes
Like I'd imagined it before
The grinding dance of naked waists
I wouldn't mind a quick encore

~~~G~~~

I'm sorry that I had to ask
I know you want to keep things simple
I'm sorry I'm not in the mood
For shallow shit and weather talk

Make up your mind and do it fast
I will not take your half-assed reasons
Why you enjoy my dick and food
But won't hold hands each time we walk

~~~G~~~

It's funny how perception works so differently for you and me
The thing that terrifies me most is what you see as being free
The thing most sacred in my life that stops my heart from feeling blue,
That gives me strength, it sucks you dry
You say it's suffocating you

~~~G~~~

Lie to me about my looks
Tell me that I'm all you need
That you want me to proceed
That you'll read me like your books

Lie to me about your heart
Tell me that it's mine alone
Every time we're on the phone
Tell me we won't fall apart

~~~G~~~

Another dinner eaten with one fork from one plate
I know complaints sound beaten, I do not care of late
Another night is wasted by cuddling on my own
I crave the life I've tasted before I was alone

~~~G~~~

I told you you were beautiful
And there was terror in your eyes
Could be you thought I was in love
Could be you thought my words were lies

Why is it wrong to speak my mind
When something precious comes my way?
I know most people bite their tongues
When I'm impressed, I'll always say

~~~G~~~

So here we are again, familiar new sensation
This time I'm not your man, no cause for celebration
And all the trust we had, it's gone, completely vanished
But I'm no longer mad, and you're no longer banished
We both already know the words we speak are hollow
Wherever I may go, it's clear that you won't follow

~~~G~~~

There's not much I have to lose
You have torn my heart before
Which I'm choosing to ignore
After all, that's mine to choose

There's not much that you could do
That you haven't done to me
So I guess it's wait and see
As it's always been with you

~~~G~~~

I'm not comfortable with waiting
I'm not patient as a rule
I've spent lifetimes contemplating
There's no need to play things cool

I have done my share of careful
I refuse to take things slow
There's a newborn need for dareful
Only fair to let you know

~~~G~~~

You're incredibly gifted and resourceful as hell
When it comes to implying that I'm not worth your time
If you know what you're doing, there's no way I can tell
But you're building these fences that I don't want to climb
First you cancel a meeting 'cause you're busy with work
When I ask three days later what you're doing tonight
You say "meeting my friends" and make me feel like a jerk
I am much of a fighter but you're not worth the fight

~~~G~~~

Making everyone smaller doesn't mean that you grow
Stomping feet, heavy panting do not mean that you go
Moving words without actions do not mean that you care
Giving others your garbage doesn't mean that you share

~~~G~~~

Why are you shaming pretty bodies?
Why are you telling them they suck?
Why would you tell those silent hotties
That they will never get to fuck?

My lovers weren't always skinny
Had scars and bruises on their skin
Would not go out in a bikini
Or felt too fragile, old or thin

So many people who are perfect
Are still ashamed of how they look
Stop telling us we aren't worth it
Life ain't a Palmers poster book

~~~G~~~

It is obvious to me
I'm no priority to you
It is clear that you don't see
I'm deeply hurt by what you do

I'm not stupid, I'm just sad
I thought we could become quite close
But the thing we might have had
Is simply not the thing you chose

~~~G~~~

Just come here, just be close, just be gentle
And be silent, I don't want your words
If you spoke, I'd become sentimental
And your voice is so fine it just hurts

Just come here, just be close, maybe kiss me
I don't care if your promise is true
If you fake it or actually miss me
All I want is a shadow of you

~~~G~~~

Sleep with me again tonight
I know it's been a year now
The friendship part we can't get right
But I just want you here now

Visit me again today
I know it's been forever
I tried; I miss you anyway
Our lips should be together

Sleep with me and don't ask why
Don't ask me how I'm feeling
Don't promise that you'll say good-bye
That this time we'll be healing

~~~G~~~

I get why they won't answer me
I used to be entertaining
They've noticed something's wrong with me
And I am sick of explaining

It's hard to be around me now
It's all somehow gotten blurry
I guess some people cant allow
Themselves to be weak and worry

I get why they don't write me back
I've been a tough friend to deal with
The happiness I know I lack
Is what I would need to heal with

~~~G~~~

I scream at you - you don't listen
I reach for you - you don't care
Or maybe you're scared of touching
Or maybe you're unaware

I look for you - I can't find you
I wait for you - you don't come
Or maybe your ears are damaged
My screams to you just a hum

I'd die for you - you don't know it
I'm already halfway dead
And maybe you'll never notice
You listen and wait instead

~~~G~~~

Where are you?
I'm staring at empty screens and empty days
Where are you?
I'm walking in broken shoes on lonely ways
Where are you?
I'm cooking delicious meals for me alone
Where are you?
I'm waiting for cute distractions on my phone
Where are you?
I'm starting to hate my hobbies and my friends
Where are you?
I'm not gonna be a fan of how this ends

~~~G~~~

Why would you call me stranger when I am known to friends?
How can we see love start and be certain how it ends?
Who is to say you're wiser based on your date of birth?
Why does it take us seconds to judge what something's worth?

And why should clowns be funny when they're not loved at all?
Who is to say a giant can't be afraid and small?
Who says that walls don't crumble? That mighty swords don't rust?
The fastest man can stumble when he's deprived of trust.

And why should flowers wither when winter walks the land?
Who is to say a boxer can't have a gentle hand?
Why would you think a hooker earns less respect than you?
Why would a lie repeated become a fact and true?

~~~G~~~

Don't you get it? I did not invite you here for entertainment
It's good company I look for, not a stand-up or a clown
I don't need you to be talkative and ask me where the pain went
It's those well-meant useless comments that will only bring me down
Don't you see that I do not have any plans for us to follow
It's okay if you bring work here or a book or fall asleep
I don't need you to attempt to change the fact that I am hollow
I just need to be around you to make sure that I won't weep

~~~G~~~

Nothing's fun
Nothing's good
I feel misunderstood
Don't you know
Can't you see
I don't have a plan B
You don't get
How I feel
How it is a big deal
When I'm here
All alone
All the time

~~~G~~~

I pushed you away
You'd been gone for a while then
With no reason to stay
With no reason to smile then

I pushed you away
You've been gone for a while now
And I think it's okay
And I think I can smile now

~~~G~~~

I do not care about your lovers, if they were many or a few
It's not with them I'll build the future that I intend to build with you
I do not care about their faces, I do not care about their names
If they were nice or really naughty; I have no interest in games

~~~G~~~

How I wish I could forgive you, but you don't apologize
Been a year since I last kissed you, heard the last one of your lies
How I wish that I could see you, feel and taste your gifted tongue
But you chose to be dishonest, should have known you were too young
How I wish we were still talking and still making love at night
How I wish it wasn't over, that you'd try to make things right

~~~G~~~

Put that song on repeat, put your body on mine
Let us make our own heat, when you're close I'll be fine
It's so stormy outside, like the world wants to end
Here's the blanket, let's hide, be my lover, my friend
Turn the lights off, come close, hold your breath and my hand
In the dark, I suppose, I'll be taking command

~~~G~~~

You see me climbing out that pool
Wet hair and body, dripping, glowing
You introduce yourself while showing
That you would like to play things cool

You bite your lip, the course is set
I'm pressing you against an oak tree
I grab your hair, you kiss the soaked me
You don't need water to get wet

~~~G~~~

I only want to meet you, I don't want to chat
Don't know how I could say this much simpler than that
Please spare me all your writing, just knock on my door
It's not so complicated, you've done it before

~~~G~~~

Time and time again she would ask me these questions
Time and time again I would answer the same
I don't feel content with her constant suggestions
I'm not satisfied with her vision of fame

Time and time again she would kiss me the same way
Motions never change, like a step-by-step plan
Sun goes up and down, but it feels like the same day
What a sad excuse for a woman and man

~~~G~~~

She lay like dinner on a table
In sheets of silk and seemed to sleep
He tried to wait but wasn't able
She'd woken urges far too deep

Without a hint of hesitation
He tore her neck and drank her whole
Each drop the highest concentration
Of purity of life and soul

~~~G~~~

We were having a moment
We were having a night
We were having each other alright

We were whole, we were happy
We were having a blast
What we had was too hurried to last

~~~G~~~

All those years that I've lived in agony
I prepared to embrace eternity
And meet God for once on even ground
What I craved so long I found
In you

On the day that I leave this world behind
I just hope that it's peace that you will find
When I let my final breath escape
I just hope it's not too late
For you

On the day that I close my eyes for good
I just hope that my heart is understood
When my soul moves on or disappears
I just hope you know I'm here
With you

~~~G~~~

You kiss with less passion, much softer and slow
This change must have happened not too long ago
Your lips aren't playing, they're pleasing my skin
It's making me nervous, it's not how it's been

The way that you kiss now, it says "I am here"
More giving than taking, it's fueling my fear
We used to be simple, we knew what we were
But now that you're changing, it's all just a blur

~~~G~~~

This last time I really blew it
That's one time too much, so screw it
I'm not trying to undo it
I was lonely and she knew it

You don't get the way I'm thinking
Everywhere red lights are blinking
I am cheating and you're drinking
This relation-ship is sinking

~~~G~~~

Come, explore with me the city
Drink hot chocolate from my cup
Push me down and call me pretty
Smile at me and lock me up
Join me in my exploration
Of the things I've been denied
Far too long I've felt frustration
Show me that I haven't died

~~~G~~~

I never understood people
Not as a whole anyway
I hated teens when I was one
They just annoyed me all day
I do not trust the big masses
They never do what seems right
But show me one single person
They might be worth any fight
I never understood people
It's single lives that I get
Seeing the person before me
I will not likely regret

~~~G~~~

For once the sun disappears
And everyone's going crazy
But it's been dark here for years
In spite of sunrays that face me

For once it's dark around noon
For once it's night during daytime
But this will change pretty soon
And you'll be fine and you'll stay fine

I'm not the least bit impressed
It's always dark where I'm going
Inside my head and my chest
My own eclipse I'm not showing

~~~G~~~

All this time, endless moments that last
The foundations we've built in the past
All this force we have put into us
Tickets paid for the wrong fucking bus

All those years we were planning ahead
Now I bury this future we had
Starting over, that's easily said
Going on is just making me sad


A part of you declares we're through
And you see nothing left to do
A part of me is on my knees
And begging you to hold me please

A part of this I'll always miss
The way you smell, the way you kiss
A part of here I'm keeping near
While I give in to pain and fear

~~~G~~~

No message on my phone
No envelope that's blinking
I'm anxious and alone
I wonder what you're thinking
It's been less than a day
Too soon for me to write you
I've got so much to say
But I just don't excite you

~~~G~~~

You can sleep at my place and I don't expect payment
I believe in consent and respecting your pace
If you're ready to stay there will be no containment
Though I don't like to wait, this is clearly no race

~~~G~~~

I'm kind of surprised your definition of "friends"
Includes my left hand moving around in your pants
Your innocent past seems to have come to a halt
I guess in a way this once again is my fault

~~~G~~~

I look at the mirror and I hate what I see
This man looks disgusting, fat and ugly to me
I wanted to buy some new jeans but instead
I cry with a blanket pulled over my head

Some days I begin with zero power or drive
Ten hours of sleep still couldn't make me alive
And everything backfires right in my face
I'm so fucking tired and so out of place

~~~G~~~

Now we're back where we started
Jumped the track, broken-hearted
Cold out here and it's snowing
It's not clear where we're going
I am used to desaster
Been abused more and faster
It's okay, do not worry
Simply say you are sorry

~~~G~~~

If you're playing hard to get
You will have to play alone
I'm not here to play your game
Guess I'm losing

Like I told you when we met
I will make my viewpoints known
Stay or go, that's all the same
But I'm choosing

~~~G~~~

I know now why I've been waiting
All those years that I've been hating
When I met you it was clear
No one else was let this near
You were worth all hesitation
All those years of aggravation
Now I know what they were for
You're the thing I miss no more

~~~G~~~

My poems are here to paint pictures
Of future and past in your head
To give you a prospect to ponder
While lying awake in your bed

My poems are here to inspire
Or show you that others still feel
To help through the day when you tire
Wo cares if my stories are real?

~~~G~~~

Can't measure good sex in loads of cum
In decibel, inches or minutes
In calories burnt or crossed limits
It's sad that those units appeal to some

Good sex is when I can get through to you
Take care of your body and soul
Good sex is when you lose control
And shiver from all that I do to you

~~~G~~~

Doesn't sound like your marriage is worth a lot
I don't think you want me to respect it
I suppose you have given it all you've got
You've run out of your will to protect it

Now you're here and it's obvious you don't know
How to handle this new situation
You're uncertain of how far you want to go
So you're counting on my reputation

I'm not held by the boundaries in your mind
And your past doesn't really affect me
I'll be gentle to you and I'll help you find
All the sides of yourself that attract me

~~~G~~~

You will not meet me at a bar
I will not offer you a drink
Won't stretch my comfort zone too far
I'll never date you

I know my heart, I know my mind
And I express myself through ink
I don't think weak's the same as kind
Won't underrate you

You will not meet me at a club
Where it's too loud to talk or think
I need an equal, not a sub
I won't sedate you

I'll make you know what I'm about
I won't be leaving while you blink
But I won't stay when I'm in doubt
And I won't hate you

~~~G~~~

I go slow on you, we are different in pace
When my lips come close, I can feel your heartbeat race
I exhale and kiss from your shoulder to your neck
And I guess it's wrong but you sigh, so what the heck
I go slow on you, watch you breathe and close your eyes
Let you lead my hand up and down between your thighs
And I understand we will never be for real
But it's so intense, heating up the way you feel

~~~G~~~

You compromise your sex appeal with one small cigaret
Disgust is all that I can feel, I know what I will get
The bitter taste of poison breath, it doesn't turn me on
Just smoke your sorry self to death, I'm clearly not the one

~~~G~~~

I like your chocolate skin, familiar yet exotic
The way you look at me, seductive and erotic
Your chest moves up and down each time your body meets me
And I can't help but like the way your body treats me

~~~G~~~

This didn't quite go down as planned
I didn't think you'd kiss me back
When I first touched your shaking hand
I thought you'd have a heart attack
You're inexperienced and sweet
Not what I'm looking for at all
I guess I swept you off your feet
Now I must intercept your fall

~~~G~~~

Put your finger through those holes in me
Stick your tongue where no one's been yet
Feel the darkness when it calls for me
Watch the scenes that no one's seen yet

See me break in all my bitterness
See me raging mad and screaming
Tearing down what once has been success
On the other side of dreaming

Let your hand rest on my sweaty face
On the days when I can't love you
When all tenderness seems out of place
Let me have the best parts of you

~~~G~~~

Baby, keep your silk dress on, our golden age is over
Your clothes can stay where they belong, I'm weary and you're sober
Baby, time to wear your smile, the one that I'm not buying
We kept it up for quite a while, but I can't stand the lying

~~~G~~~

I only live from one short-term distraction to the next one
And I'm not looking forward to a thing
And I'm a lot of guys but surely not the most relaxed one
The bad times throw me down, the good times sting

~~~G~~~

Some classify their day as good or bad
That's not my way
My scale just goes from shitty to okay

~~~G~~~

There is nothing like a good preemptive strike
It's crystal clear the end is near
We both lie wide awake, we can't conceal the ache
The crossroad's here, it's time to steer

We have gone so far, I don't know who you are
Can we still grow? The answer's No
What am I waiting for? I know it in the core
I hurt you so, it's time to go

In this crowded bed where many lies were said
We're occupied with dreams and pride
We used to give a damn, you don't know who I am
The things we tried, we're still denied

~~~G~~~

So much shit that I can't deal with
Daily disappointment dose
That's what I'm supposed to heal with?
Clearly I'm not coming close

~~~G~~~

Ich hab zu viel zu geben um es in mir zu behalten
Will ein anderes Leben, aber alles bleibt beim Alten
Ich hab zu viel gelitten um noch ewig hier zu warten
Ich hab zu viel gestritten auf so viele falsche Arten
Ich hab um mich geschlagen, die verletzt, die bei mir standen
Ich war kaum zu ertragen, hab mich selber nicht verstanden

Ich hab zu viel zu geben, bin zu gut in allem Schönen
Kann dich hoch empor heben, dich verlieben und verwöhnen
Du wirst wohlig benommen dich am Ende fallen lassen
Doch der Zeitpunkt wird kommen, da wirst du mich nur noch hassen
Ich zerstör viel zu viele, pflaster meinen Weg mit Leichen
Fuck, ich kenn meine Ziele, doch ich kann sie nicht erreichen

~~~G~~~

Don't tell me how my day was
I felt it, you did not
If you don't want to stay close
Just leave with what you've got

Don't tell me how my life feels
I live it every day
My shoes are not your high heels
But they can walk away

~~~G~~~

Another day has gone to waste
Each hour left a bitter taste
Another evening alone
Another busy dial tone

I'm so fed up with this routine
Leftovers being my cuisine
I always eat alone for two
There's always me and never you

~~~G~~~

Touch me one last time
With this soft hand of yours
It's good that you were mine
It's good that you were mine

Kiss my lips goodbye
Take one last look at me
I know that we both tried
I know that we both tried

Please close all the doors
When you walk out for good
I can't speak anymore
I can't speak anymore

~~~G~~~

You know the way you feel
You've known this state for years
It's omnipresent, real
Too strong to cause you tears
You're eaten up inside
You're constantly alarmed
You always try to hide
How much you're really harmed

You know the way you feel
How much the numbness hurts
How you don't seem to heal
How you don't find the words
Survivors you salute
You wonder how they cope
For you yourself are mute
And you don't have much hope

I know the way you feel
And it is not just me
It's worse than "not ideal"
It's worse than "wait and see"
The emptiness, it hurts
I know it well, I do
And if you lack the words
Let me find words for you

~~~G~~~

The things I look forward to don't seem to happen
The things I look back to are not always fun
I often explain myself but I don't have to
When I'm disappointed sometimes I just run

~~~G~~~

I'm sorry that I left
I run when I'm conflicted
The pain that I can bear
Is painfully restricted

I wanted this to last
I didn't wish to end us
My own destruction won
I just could not defend us

~~~G~~~

The best day of my life
A sunny afternoon
The snow was almost gone
And spring can't come too soon
When I had closed my eyes
She kissed me without haste
Her lips so soft on mine
I can't forget her taste
When you undress me now
I wonder who you are
The peace I felt back then
Today it seems so far
The hunger in your eyes
Each time I am in you
Can't make me feel alive
The way she used to do

~~~G~~~

He loves me all the time
In all those different ways
I'm loved against the wall
Or trees on sunny days
He loves me fast and slow
In silence and with noise
With all his body parts
Sometimes I'm loved with toys

~~~G~~~

A fragile thread is binding us
What happened to those rugged ropes?
Not always gentle but so strong
They're all worn out now, what went wrong?

At first the ropes turned into chains
That kept us both from moving on
And now I find they're almost gone
A thin connection, only one

~~~G~~~

I'm losing interest in you
Why did you let things get so far?
You knew how different we are
I know for certain that you knew

Seems like you're playing hard to get
And I must say I'm not impressed
Don't put my patience to the test
I am a loss you might regret

~~~G~~~

You are conveniently ill, which means we will not meet today
And I could act like that's okay, I do not know yet if I will
I'm not the smallest bit surprised; yes I expected you to bail
That my attempts to meet would fail; I guess that they were ill-advised

~~~G~~~

I'm not a believer in past lives and such
So I do not think we were lovers before
The thing I believe in: I like you so much
That I wouldn't mind if you stayed here some more

I'm not into spirits, feng shui and souls
But I'm into you in this life here and now
Please help me accomplish the oldest of goals
If you're what life gives me then I don't care how

~~~G~~~

You ask me to be patient
You say you're worth the wait
And I don't think you're lying
But still I don't feel great

I've done my share of waiting
I've waited many years
Been sitting here for hours
Till something nice appears

I've done my sharing of thinking
I know what I expect
In all those years I've waited
I've tried to stay intact

Forgive, but I'm a skeptic
I do not think love grows
Some people feel things slowly
But I'm not one of those

I know it either hits me
Or doesn't strike at all
Time isn't on your side when
You want to make me fall

You ask me to be patient
But I am not a child
Sixteen lies far behind me
No hormones going wild

All time will do is scare me
Or bore me or annoy
Right now we have a chance here
One you should not destroy

~~~G~~~

You asked me to write a poem of love
Some lines that express the way that I feel
My heart is a mess, so yes, this is tough
You showed me the light, this time it's for real

You asked me to put my love into words
For once in my life no rhymes come to mind
I used to survive, ignore how it hurts
And think that I would remain cold and blind

The first time we talked, I didn't feel changed
It wasn't until you'd left me again
Resurfaced but still so maimed and estranged
As long as we'd walked, I'd felt like a man

I can't write of love in flowery style
But you made me whole. I won't let you go
Again in control, I'll make it worthwhile
All rain from above, I'll turn into snow

~~~G~~~

Please close your ears now
Shut the world out
Please let me teach you
What I'm about

Come two steps closer
Closer to me
Keep your eyes open
Touch me and see

Take all those clothes off
Lock all those doors
Woman on woman
My heart on yours

~~~G~~~

They're nice; I send them all away
I'm anything but patient
If I can't really have my way
Then they can't have my time

I'm stubborn and I'm incomplete
Direct and hard to handle
I don't do slow, don't do discreet
A speaker, not a mime

~~~G~~~

Your legs around my waist
You gently pull me closer
You smell the way you taste

Your breath feels like a song
Your mouth is the composer
The melody is strong

We talk all day, all night
But now we're being silent
Most words would not feel right

Your heart beats like a drum
Intense and almost violent
You scratch me and you come

~~~G~~~

Surely the ground would swallow me
If it wasn't for this chair
Maybe the room will follow me
Get drowned in my deep despair

Surely the floor would open up
If I wasn't sitting here
Knowing it's why we've broken up
The chair bears my giant rear

~~~G~~~

Collapsing at 8pm
The day has been too long
There is no power left in me
No reason to be strong
Refusing to give a damn
I simply go to sleep
Relaxing is a luxury
The tiredness goes deep

~~~G~~~

Her smile is of that hungry kind
That tells you all you need to know
It leaves you tantalized and blind
She asks for you and you just go
You follow her and beg for treats
She swallows you in every way
Then leaves you dying in her sheets
Where you await your judgment day

~~~G~~~

Ich glaub nicht, dass dir egal ist, wo ich morgen Abend schlafe
Weil dir Treue zu banal ist, bist du selber keine Brave
Weil du Angst hast, was passier'n kann, lässt du dich an keinen binden
Weil du weißt, was man verlier'n kann, lässt du dich erst gar nicht finden
Doch ich glaube, in dir drinnen, schmerzt es jedes Mal auf's Neue
Sehnsucht kann man nicht entrinnen, auch wenn ich sie nie bereue
Alle wünschen, alle spielen, kaum ein Einsatz wird vermieden
Du und ich sind zwei von vielen, denn wir haben so entschieden
Du sagst, dass es ideal ist, folgt dem Fremdgeh'n keine Strafe
Ich glaub nicht, dass dir egal ist, wo ich morgen Abend schlafe

~~~G~~~

I think you should leave him – but not for me
I'm hardly your future, this much I see
He doesn't respect you, he doesn't care
He's mean and he's distant – it isn't fair

I know I can give you the tenderness
And fairness you're craving - no more, no less
I tell you you're pretty because it's true
But I'll never love you or be with you

~~~G~~~

Today was really bad again, no fuzzy feelings felt
You lock your room and once again remove your jeans and belt
The leather, cold against your flesh, leaves burning streaks of shame
Today you hurt the world again; you have to feel the same

~~~G~~~

Enchanted by your pretty hands, your flawless, sexy feet
I feel the rise of strong demands, of hunger, thirst and heat
I do not rush undressing you, there will be time enough
Don't know what hurry has to do with passion or with love
And while I do appreciate your breasts and lips and thighs
It's hands and feet that liberate the loudest kind of sighs

~~~G~~~

Your dreams are too small, your future too boring
Why love you at all? You're not in my league
I won't waste my heart on shallow adoring
I can't create art from small-town fatigue

~~~G~~~

She says the cat scratched her again, I shiver to the core
I try to hide from her that I have seen this cat before
I know the place she's going to each time she quickly leaves
I know the reason why she wears those omnipresent sleeves

This cat does not belong to her, it's never been a pet
It fooled me many years ago, the first time that we met
By now I know the cat is huge and dangerous and strong
Its fur is black, its claws are sharp, the trails they leave are long

This cat is only known by those who do not fear its claws
Who welcome all the razor blades it hides between its jaws
The marks it leaves are intimate and therefore rarely shown
But not so hard to recognize for those the cat has known

~~~G~~~

Come, come, come, I know you're lost now
Come with me, I know you're scared
I don't claim to know your struggle
In this war your life declared
Take my hand, we'll make things better
For the moment, for tonight
I don't know if I'm the answer
But I'll try to make things right
Hush now, hush and let me hold you
Let me listen, hold you tight
I can't promise you tomorrow
But I'm here for you tonight

~~~G~~~

You don't need perfect skin
Or eyes of perfect blue
To make me think of sin
And give myself to you

You don't need purple lips
Or breasts too big to grasp
The way you move your hips
Will always make me gasp

~~~G~~~

You were supposed to understand
You were supposed to get me
I was supposed to hold your hand
You were supposed to let me

And now it seems you did not get
The way I think at all
What happened I do not regret
It always hurts to fall

~~~G~~~

If every end is a beginning
I do not want to start again
Experience is all I'm winning
And I'll avoid that if I can

If every failure makes you wiser
Then surely I have failed enough
I'd be a valuable adviser
For those who haven't been in love

If every fall means that you're trying
I wonder why I try at all
Each time I break it feels like dying
It seems like all I do is fall

~~~G~~~

I think I'm running from something
I think I'm running away
I can't be sure but it seems like
I am too restless to stay

I think I'm running from something
And I'm too scared to look back
And I'm ashamed of my actions
And of the courage I lack

~~~G~~~

I am the one who stays behind
All others lose and look and find
I am the one who's still around
Who isn't looked for, isn't found
And while I sit and wait and bleed
I'm losing track of what I need

~~~G~~~

I wish my head was not so clouded
I don't remember what I did
I may have been a dick, I doubt it
What I don't know, I can't admit

~~~G~~~

Your beauty doesn't come from size, it doesn't come from fashion
Your beauty lies in what you do, in tenderness and passion
It's in the wisdom that you speak and in your naughty grin
The way you touch me with your words and make me melt within
Your beauty's not about your hair or ink stains on your fingers
When I'm alone, when you're not there, your beauty is what lingers

~~~G~~~

Love is but a sum of symptoms
Fear is but a state of mind
Loneliness is for the lost ones
Mourning for those left behind

Lying is for weak and cheap ones
Truth for those who dare to speak
Crying is for those still feeling
Finding is for those who seek

~~~G~~~

I drank a lot of orange juice
To taste a little fruity
I did not know which hand to use
To handle all your beauty

You had me all-in from day one
Head, heart and dick in action
When I think back now that you're gone
Your face still means perfection

~~~G~~~

No, honey, no
They got it all wrong
The world is what's crazy, not you
You're beautiful, baby, and blue

Go, honey, go
I know that you're strong
Your tears aren't weak, they're okay
Come here and I'll wipe them away

~~~G~~~

There used to be tears, you know?
There used to be something in my eyes that made all the bad things go
There used to be water inside my head
Each time I got sad

There used to be tears, you know?
I used to lean back once in a while and just let the healing flow
And then came a smile when it was all done
But now there are none

~~~G~~~

Help me move my mountains
I'm not certain how
But I know they're in my way
And I know that I can't stay
Help me move my mountains
Only for a bit
I can't stand them blocking me
For too long now mocking me

~~~G~~~

Someday I might forgive myself for hurting me
In the process of hurting you
I freeze a little more each time, internally
When I do what I have to do
I see you break and fall apart in front of me
And the things that I have to say
They don't reflect at all the things you want from me
But I know that I cannot stay

Someday I might forgive myself for getting lost
In the process of losing you
Someday I might accept that truth comes at a cost
I can't help what I have to do

~~~G~~~

I send you pictures of my dick
You send me pictures of your dock
The NSA is really happy
And your mom would be in shock

She doesn't know her little girl
Has such a lovely dirty mind
If she was with the NSA
She would know millions of that kind

~~~G~~~

Every gift that stayed ungiven
Is another end-less story
End-less not as in eternal
But just gone with no real end

I've bought many of those presents
That would never reach their owners
Who would vanish all too quickly
And too soon to understand

~~~G~~~

It's like looking for hay in a stack of needles
It' like being allergic to oxygen
You can try to ignore that you can't ignore it
It will work for a moment but what comes then?

You're surrounded by cake as a diabetic
And you'd die for a taste of what's killing you
When the present erases what came before it
You feel lost but what's happened will still be true

~~~G~~~

This world is bitterness and sorrow
At least that's all that I can see
The world will be the same tomorrow
I hope the same won't go for me

~~~G~~~

Confusion is confusing
I don't know what to do
I'm caught in this illusion
Of ending up with you

Your silence irritates me
I thought we were mature
It seems to me that lately
Our talking skills are poor

~~~G~~~

I'm changing all my sheets again
The moment that you close the door
I try to do the best I can
But feel disgusted like before

It felt alright until I came
Inside your torso, soft and wet
There are no winners in this game
I only use what I can get

I feel revulsion, tears and sweat
I really wish I was immune
I take a shower with regret
I'll call your number way too soon

~~~G~~~

I wonder if you're lost like me
Or if you're doing fine
If you expect subconsciously
That one day you'll be mine

I wonder if you sleep at night
Or if you lie awake
If your decisions feel alright
Or like a huge mistake

I wonder if you whore around
Or if you're on your own
If you still hope that you'll be found
Or think you'll die alone

I wonder if you wonder too
About where I might be
And if I ever think of you
The way you think of me

~~~G~~~

I come home late
And there you wait
All decorated, kneeling
You cause the strangest feeling
I take a shower, eat a bite

Then I return
I think you earn
A treat for your persistence
Not moved the smallest distance
Locked in position for the night

I kiss your head
Your hair so red
And then I have you blow me
Your body kneels below me
Your spirit's soaring high with mine

We act out dreams
With lots of screams
Turned on, intoxicated
We both feel liberated
In chains but free, a blurry line

~~~G~~~

Your great advice is not so wise, you're different than I
I realize I'm standing still, who says that I don't try?
How can I be a better self with no one to compete?
How can I be completely me when I am incomplete?

~~~G~~~

Is this normal? Is this madness?
Is this ordinary sadness?
Is this state with which I'm dealing
Shit that everybody's feeling?

Is it hopeless? Can you cure it?
Will I manage to endure it?
Am I broken? Can you mend it?
Is there any way to end it?

~~~G~~~

Show me you're worth fighting for and I'll fight for you until the very end.
Show me you're worth dreaming of and I'll share with you my dreams.
Show me that you know my worth and I'll keep it up for you.

~~~G~~~

I see my homeland going down
A world in which I once felt safe
You've lost the trust that I once gave
You entertain but I'm the clown

~~~G~~~

Close your head, close your ears, do not listen
To the tales of your fears as they scream
All alone in your bed, no one kisses
You good-night or stays close while you dream

Yes, you're scared of those nights full of silence
When your heartbeat is all that you hear
All those thoughts that you have are so violent
Present, future and past look so drear

~~~G~~~

I'm drawing my love with my index on your palm
So slowly, no rush, we're experienced and calm
My lips rest on your throat, and I breathe you in and out
I wander with my thoughts, I don't know what they're about
I drink your silent sighs, your yet unspoken pleas
I know you understand I relish, I don't tease
I'm drawing my love with my fingers on your hand
Invaluable art people rarely understand

~~~G~~~

You're screwing me over by screwing her
The truth is: A lie is what I prefer
Whenever you see her, don't let me know
'Cause I am not ready to let you go

~~~G~~~

If I had the strength for it

If I had the strength for it, I'd start each day with a smile.
I'd make each moment worthwhile, if I had the strength for it.

If I had the strength for it, I'd treat myself with respect,
Put daydreams into effect, if I had the strength for it.

If I had the strength for it, I would forgive people's flaws.
Good deeds would earn my applause, if I had the strength for it.

If I had the strength for it, I'd eat what's healthy and good.
I'd make myself understood, if I had the strength for it.

If I had the strength for it, I'd put my ego aside,
No longer lie here and hide. I don't have the strength for it.

~~~G~~~

You're making out with someone
But it's never me, it's never me
You're getting loud with someone
And it's never me, it's never me
You value me too much for this
You won't kill friendship with a kiss
But in the end, if friends are all we'll be
This friendzone's killing me

~~~G~~~

This was a year of many bodies, of many hearts in many chests
A year of pain, a year of passion, of many lips and many breasts
This was a year of repetition, of never learning from mistakes
A year of feeling, breaking, crawling, no matter how much will it takes

~~~G~~~

When the world is too loud
Let me cover your ears
Let me close all your doors and be silent
You don't have to be proud
I won't laugh at your fears
I have felt how the mind can be violent

When the world is too much
Let us hide in your bed
Let a blanket fort be our housing
Trust my silence and touch
I'll take care of your head
With those hands that are not just arousing

~~~G~~~

I used to hold you every night
But now you seem to hate my touch
How could your feelings change so much
And will they ever turn back right?

All that I am I want to share
And always shelter you from harm
But you're no longer in my arm
And you no longer seem to care

~~~G~~~

I still recall you describing
Your perfect man as tall and blond
That's all you thought was important
For you to get along and bond

Now here we are three years later
You are a mom and he is gone
Are you surprised what went wrong here?
It seems your guy was not the one

At least your daughter is blond now
And heaven knows she might grow tall
Let's hope she won't be so shallow
And someone nice will make her fall

~~~G~~~

I'm falling for you anyway
I might as well get some
My self-restraint has gone astray
Disposed of like jetsam

I like you more then I assumed
So why not start screwing?
I tried but I'm already doomed
And there's no undoing

~~~G~~~

I really want to make out now
And with whom I don't care
I want it rough and be loud now
Want to make people stare

~~~G~~~

Leave me alone now, leave me lonely
Just go your way, I'll stay behind
Won't ask of you to text or phone me
Don't be just generous, be kind
Leave me alone now, I need space here
To cry and shiver, yell and moan
All of the demons that I face here
Just let me face them all alone

~~~G~~~

Spank me, turn my butt cheeks red
I know you understand
Sometimes I need to feel myself
And feel your guiding hand

Kiss me gently once we're done
Caress me where I'm sore
Some think it's all about the pain
To me it means much more

~~~G~~~

This year has not been good to me and I've stopped being good myself
I've let my heart and body down, I'm frightened by my mental health
It needs to change and change it will, but into what I do not know
I'll either manage to get out or otherwise I'll choose to go
I have to say that in the end it's been a ride again this year
I've ridden many, big and small, and many came but none stayed here

~~~G~~~

Please, by all means, don't be on time
It's not like I expect you
I never plan a thing, it's fine
Don't let my stress affect you

~~~G~~~

I'm so sorry I can't see you
But it simply hurts too much
It was painful once to be you
And be longing for my touch

It took time but you replaced me
Was I easy to replace?
I recall how you amazed me
No, I cannot watch your face

~~~G~~~

This succubus lifestyle, this predator me
It's fighting the symptoms, a poor way to be
You've known me too little, I'm not what I seem
I've lost my direction, I've buried my dream

~~~G~~~

Your eyes are wide open, which is rare when we kiss
But this is a moment far too precious to miss
Those years full of "freedom", they are finally gone
The end of two eras, the beginning of one

~~~G~~~

You did all in your power to make my life good
From the cradle till now - it's amazing
You were always supportive, just the way mothers should
But I can't beat the demons I'm facing

And I know you are proud of the things I achieved
You're the reason for most of my beauty
If there's some kind of heaven, like I've always believed
It will know you did more than your duty

You could not have prevented the way that I failed
You can't always protect me from thunder
I had guidance and shelter through the storms that I sailed
But the ocean will soon pull me under

And I'm sorry I hurt you after all of those years
That you gave for this life I can't handle
It was not my intention to be causing you tears
But the wind was too strong for this candle

You did all in your power to fill me with joy
You will always be my one and only
I was perfectly happy, I felt loved as a boy
But the man I became was too lonely

~~~G~~~

I don't know how to do this or to breathe anymore
I have felt dead and useless, I have been there before
What I'm asking myself is, why I always return
Would it really be selfish to go down and to burn?
After nearly three decades, I have nothing to show
When my heart, mind and back ache, am I ready to go?

~~~G~~~

You don't have to tame me
I seem wilder than I am
Life happened, don't blame me
Simply make me give a damn

I don't fear commitment
I've just made enough mistakes
I knew what this shit meant
I'm just doing what it takes

You needn't convince me
Of what you and I could be
Your love needs to rinse me
Make me feel, believe and see

~~~G~~~

Another drop runs down the sink
Your wrist burns with familiar daze
This world's a stranger, there's no link
You're disconnected from its ways

Another wound must bleed and mend
A token of the way you feel
It doesn't mean that in the end
Your wounds will ever really heal

~~~G~~~

You came, we kissed, you left again
I thought you'd stay a little while
It sure was nice at first, but then
You realized it's not your style

You came, we kissed, we screamed at night
I thought we'd stay some kind of friends
You made me feel a bit alright
And I'm surprised by how it ends

You came, we kissed, we watched TV
You said you liked the way I taste
It seems a little rude to me
You had to end it with such haste

You came, we kissed, you came again
The sex was good, the movies too
The only thing that will remain
Are fading memories of you

~~~G~~~

Enjoy me while you can
A woman and a man
Uncomplicated, plain
No drama, only gain
Enjoy me while I'm here
With pasta, sex and cheer
It might not be for long
I might not be so strong
Enjoy the little things
No diamonds and no rings
Room spinning when we kiss
Remember me like this

~~~G~~~

When I push you away, it's 'cause I'm fighting myself
And I'm pushing you out of the line of fire
When I beg you to stay, it's 'cause I'm already gone
And I need to be used before I expire
All the mean things I say, that's 'cause I'm hating myself
And you needn't be hurt by a chronic liar
When I cheat and betray, you're not the pitiful one
I just cling without qualms to each last desire

~~~G~~~

So tired now and sick of waiting
Of all the talking and debating
I sleep, wake up, and feel like crying
Associating peace with dying

~~~G~~~

I feel so fat, yet you want me
Can't understand what you see
I like the way that you taunt me
Come with me

You say my butt is so sexy
And I don't get it at all
But since your notions relax me
Make me fall

~~~G~~~

Right now you're kissing them both
I follow you in my mind
I see each movement inside
My head that's troubled and blind

Right now they're tasting your flesh
And you give in to their touch
And I am here all alone
And you disgust me so much

~~~G~~~

Already you're starting to bore me
Already I'm not in the mood
You're blowing me, kneeling before me
And all I can think of is food

Already I'm counting the hours
Already I want you to leave
It's chocolate and movies and flowers
But never my love you receive

~~~G~~~

It was much better when we did it
Out of affection, love and trust
But are we willing to admit it?
Our motivation now is lust

It was much better when you hugged me
After we came until we slept
Now every time your body drugged me
It's just a tale of tears unwept

~~~G~~~

Read old e-mails today
Can't describe how I feel
You addressed me as "babe"
Can't believe this was real

There were pictures as well
You looked hot in your thong
And in love, I can tell
And my smile felt so wrong

~~~G~~~

Eat it! Yes! Oh, that's the stuff!
Stuff it all into your throat!
Swallow it, no time to cough
Rough and plain, no sugar coat

Close your eyes, enjoy the taste
It's the sweatest kind of peace
Once a day excited haste
Yes, we love our Gouda cheese!

~~~G~~~

You're kinda cute, you know?
But that is all there is
The furthest that I'd go
Is once and then a kiss
You're not exactly hot
Just kinda sweet and nice
Attractive? Really not!
Won't fuck you more than twice

~~~G~~~

The train is your home now. You're cold and alone now.
So where do you go now? You follow the tracks.
Your shoes have been better. They're raped by the weather.
The once shiny leather is covered in cracks.

Right now you are sleeping. Internally weeping
But stubbornly keeping your last bit of pride.
Life hasn't been easy. Your hair's getting greasy.
The view doesn't please me. Uncomfortable ride.

~~~G~~~

I've stared at your photo for hours now
Your face is beautiful
The past is a guideline but now is now
So I embrace my tool

I've seen all the wrinkles around your smile
So caught up in the past
Have watched your soft grace for the longest while
And now my hand moves fast

Absorbing your wonderful eyes and nose
Forgetting what I do
I torture my center till I get close
And come all over you

~~~G~~~

I want to feel perfection
So come and fill my gaps
I offer you attraction
That's more than ass or abs
Don't care for brands or tailors
Sweatpants are more my style
See past my many failures
I'll make it worth your while
I'll kiss your every square inch
Not just your pretty face
I'll let your skin and hair flinch
And lick you into space
I'm not all talk, I mean it
But I don't do discreet
My slate's too wet to clean it
I'll sweep you off your feet

~~~G~~~

Politeness is not honest
Your smile not worth a look
Don't blame me for your failures
The efforts that they took

I did not ask for coffee
Your small talk feels too small
If you don't want to be here
Don't talk to me at all

~~~G~~~

I need tenderness, I need gentle lips
Need familiar breath on my mouth, chest, hips
I need someone real, I need something nice
Not the perfect cake, just a creamy slice
I need pretty eyes, warm soft hands in mine
Need that special chill running down my spine
On a day like this that's so dark and drear
I need touch and smell, I need someone here

~~~G~~~

The bottle is half empty
The chocolate almost gone
And I am where I always am
Alone again

I wanted things that can't be
To be the only one
It ended like it always does
There's no more us

~~~G~~~

There are mistakes I've made
Much more than once or twice
Although I knew where it would end

And every bond I tear
And every scar that stays
Says that some wounds will never mend

Although I'm free to learn
I rather crash and burn
Instead of feeling numb each day

So I make love to you
With someone else while you're
So many endless miles away

~~~G~~~

Once again the same dark questions
Why do you still stick around?
And what good are their suggestions
When you're shattered on the ground?

Once again you're two feet under
Only four are left to go
All too used to storm and thunder
You've accepted feeling low

Of this life your mother gave you
Far too little is intact
That it's far too late to save you
You've accepted as a fact

~~~G~~~

I bring destruction to this life
I leave a trail of broken beings
Not my intention or my drive
Just maybe needed to survive

I leave behind what I need near
Always aware of it and seeing
I damage those that I hold dear
Out of convenience or fear

~~~G~~~

Once again a stormy night
A fireplace, the mood is right
Hearts set ablaze
Same foggy haze
And I don't think no more

Once again a lonely child
I warm her up, she's going wild
Lips touched and burned
New bodies learned
Much closer than before

Once again a pretty face
Smooth breasts next to a fireplace
Emotions bared
Some hours shared
Mementos to adore

~~~G~~~

You lure them with words, take them home to your bed
They fall for the truth in the stories they're fed
You show them your soul 'till they strip for you too
Predictable puppets, if only they knew

At first they decline and they tell you they won't
They think they have standards but you know they don't
They smile and they sigh, make big eyes as they fall
The predator you is the one in control

~~~G~~~

For the longest of times, man has sought for true beauty
Every artist's first duty is supporting this cause
All those brush strokes and rhymes have described things that matter
And when I write the latter, it is not for applause.

Am I speaking the truth? Is it all about pleasing?
Are the shocking and teasing all a part of the show?
Have I wasted my youth entertaining the masses?
As another day passes, what will stay when I go?

Is there maybe a chance there is more to my writing?
Am I maybe igniting sparks of hope and relief?
Am I showing a glance of support and of caring?
Could it be that I'm sharing what I truly believe?

~~~G~~~

One breath at a time
That's all we can manage
That's all we can do
One breath at a time

One step at a time
It can't do much damage
Not noticed by you
One step at a time

One day at a time
Is all that we plan for
It's all we can see
One day at a time

One love at a time
4 It's all that we ran for
It's all we can be
Just one at a time

~~~G~~~

Your escape from this life, it is somehow expected
And I know when we talk, it might be the last time
You might be too far gone, that's a thing I've accepted
There are mountains you face that no human can climb

I won't beg you to stay, it would only be selfish
I've accepted your fate, I won't turn you around
Sometimes you can find pearls hidden inside a shellfish
But some shellfish just break into chips on the ground

~~~G~~~

What have I been up to?
What is it to you?
Why do you keep asking
About what I do?

What have I been doing?
And why would I tell?
You don't care about me
So just go to hell

The same stupid question
The same nosy tone
Now here's a suggestion:
Just leave me alone

~~~G~~~

Depression striking once again, familiar and unwanted
Don't know if there's a reason why, don't wanna know or care
Avoiding living where you can, so troubled, challenged, taunted
So occupied with getting by and gasping for some air

~~~G~~~

I'm nobody's future, I'm just my own past
The man that you're seeing, I know it won't last
Incredibly broken, disfigured and burned
I'm less than the lessons I've lived through and learned

I know that you're hoping I'll love you and stay
I know that you want me to make things okay
I've shown you a glimpse of how good things can be
But I'm way too withered, your future's not me

~~~G~~~

He showed me where to find his heart, he showed me how to use it
And I do not refuse a gift when offered more than twice
I thought it's scientific when someone can reproduce it
So I tried every way I knew to break it down in size

I showed him where to put his trust and where to put his money
And in exchange for love and lust, I offered some advice
It doesn't matter what they say or if they call you 'honey'
It's not about their words or looks, what counts is if they're nice

~~~G~~~

Do you have to be so beautiful? Do you have to be so real?
Do you have to be the only one who can cause the way I feel
When I'm tangled up in your embrace, covered with your naked flesh?
What I felt so many years ago, now feels just as strong and fresh

Did you have to visit me again? Did it have to be today?
When I hardly ever thought of you, when you felt so far away?
Do you have to be so sensual? So intense with every kiss?
How on Earth am I supposed to heal when you have to feel like this?

~~~G~~~

Waking up in a strange bed, leaving town for the next one
In your pants something's aching; they enjoy that you're skilled
Kissing one on the forehead, then you're out and you sext one
All the feeding and taking, but you're never fulfilled

~~~G~~~

What's it like for a mother to bury her child?
What's it like when your kid leaves the living?
What's it feel like to say those unwanted good-byes
To a lifetime of caring and giving?

What's it like to look down at what you helped to raise
What you thought you'd see blossom forever?
You gave all that you had for the bulk of your days
Never knowing this lifeline would sever

~~~G~~~

Lonely heart. Lonely life. Lonely girl. Lonely wife.
Lonely days. Dreadful nights. Swallowed tears. Pointless fights.
It's the same endless rape. So insane. No escape.
When you turn off the lights, you're just wishing for

Sleep. Come close your eyes. Forget the lies.
For who are you to say what's true?
Don't ask those Whys. Fight down the sighs
When the monster lies next to you.

Endless fear. Endless shame. Swallowed tears. Salty blame.
Endless dark. Dreadful nights. Purged of all inner lights.
It's the same endless pain. No escape. So insane.
When you lay down at night, you're just hoping for

Sleep. Come close your eyes. Forget the lies.
For who are you to say what's true?
Don't ask those Whys. Fight down the sighs
When the monster sleeps next to you.

~~~G~~~

Make me forget the things they told me
Come close to me, just hold me, hold me
Let me be small, be broken, crying
I'm so fed up with all the trying

Just let me breathe against your palm
And wait with me until I'm calm
Be gentle with my fragile features
Why are we all such lonely creatures?

~~~G~~~

"Please don't give up, hang in there!" - I hear these words a lot
They're selfish, don't you think so? If I give up, why not?
I know I'm loved and needed - but I won't live for you
With all due love and friendship - don't tell me what to do.

~~~G~~~

You are not good at living or at being okay
You're just somehow maneuvered like a pawn through the day
You are restless and sleepy, it's the one state you know
Hardly getting your lines right, you're just watching the show

And you empty your pantry once again late at night
For a few blissful minutes you are feeling alright
Then you look down your body with a wave of disgust
You're pathetic and ugly and you just can't adjust

It's your one source of comfort and it's making you sick
All the self-hate you gather, it has proven to stick
You are not good at living or at being alright
You're just lying and waiting in the dark every night

~~~G~~~

Wenn du jeden Tag weg willst, doch du weißt nicht wohin
Stellt sich ständig die Frage nach Erlösung und Sinn
All das was du geplant hast, scheint nicht möglich zu sein
Reich an Gönnern und Freunden bist du immer allein
Und es hilft nichts zu sagen, dass das alles schon wird
Du hast dich vor so langem so unsagbar verirrt
Du hast alles gegeben, leider war es nicht viel
So ein unnützes Leben und du kommst nicht ans Ziel
Es wär einfach gewesen, wärst du nicht so sehr du
Es gibt so viele Wege, doch du passt nicht dazu
Du warst nie zu sehr anders, es war immer okay
Trotzdem warst du nie passend, trotzdem tut es dir weh
Und am Ende des Tages hast du panische Angst
Dass du bald nur noch Mut für den Abgang verlangst

~~~G~~~

Those opposed to us going, they don't want to be left
And of course one dies knowing every suicide is theft
You don't want us to vanish when it can't be undone
But the truth is that many here are already gone

It is selfish to keep us where there's nothing in store
You may still be believers but we're not anymore
All the things that you're saying are for you, not for us
In a way you're betraying what we thought to be trust

~~~G~~~

Picked up in the streets
Paid money for sweets
For licking that lolly in public

And why would you not?
It is kind of hot
And money is money, so fuck it

But what do you know?
As soon as you go
He uploads your trade to some website

Don't know that you are
A bit of a star
Because you could not get your sex right

~~~G~~~

I don't need a Suicide Awareness Day
This sickness is known to me anyway
A day once a year is what you can spare?
You need a reminder to be aware?
A dark epidemic is gaining ground
Vaccines hardly looked for and rarely found
With millions infected by slow decay
I don't need a Suicide Awareness Day

~~~G~~~

Your hair's black and blue and I can't help but wonder
If there is some reason behind it
My eyes fell on you, there was no need to ponder
I know what I seek once I find it

You just have one arm but you're good with your feet
You smile in a way that defeats me
I don't need a woman who's whole and complete
When I have the one who completes me

~~~G~~~

I'm more than the sum of my mistakes
I'm more than a face I wouldn't kiss
Accepting myself is what it takes
And I am acceptable at this

I'm more than a past that took its toll
I'm more than a future I don't see
My walk through this life is not a stroll
Yet I am still here and being me

~~~G~~~

Cold winds from all directions
They carry brownish leaves
They meet at intersections
Then float away like thieves

Cold looks from frozen faces
Unable now to burn
They meet in darkish places
Then leave and don't return

~~~G~~~

You inspire me with words but you don't even know me
With emotions so intense you have so much to show me
Though you're hardly ever here, you are with me to guide me
And your understanding words, they are always inside me

Every time I hear your voice, I feel goosebumps arising
That I drink your every sound, it is hardly surprising
Guess you'll never really see how you keep my thoughts jumping
How your words inspire me, how you keep my heart pumping

~~~G~~~

I do not think there's just "the one"
I've seen too much to be naïve
Which should explain why I believe
There is a reason some have gone
We should accept what fell apart
And try to learn from painful pasts
One bond in many really lasts
Choose with your brains, not just your heart

~~~G~~~

They said stupid things again, and again she isn't eating
And her chest feels way too tight for a heart so wildly beating
She just blushes and she runs, she's so tired of the fighting
And the blade inside her purse feels unbearably inviting
Did they even say those things? Or is she just overthinking?
She can't trust her memories, she's confused and she is sinking
Maybe she should cut her hair? It's impervious to styling
But the worst part is her face that's so innocently smiling

~~~G~~~

You're back to your old life and nothing has changed
Yet everything seems very odd and estranged
They don't understand your sad distance and yearning
The person who left is just not who's returning

~~~G~~~

The snoring wakes you up again
You're wondering who's bed it is
Another useless sexy man
Who never learned to fuck or kiss

How long till it's okay to leave?
The window pane is still too dark
The breakfast that you will receive
Can't compensate the lack of spark

How did you even meet this guy?
He's just as boring as the last
Whatever. As the day goes by
He'll join them all in being past

~~~G~~~

The very thing that keeps me going, it's eating me alive
It keeps my body fluids flowing, I need it to survive
The thing I seem to seek and long for, it's killing me inside
Don't know what I'm still staying strong for, I've failed but I have tried

~~~G~~~

You know what I wanted, knew right from the start
So tell me, is this how I'm playing my part?
Is this all the life you had waiting in store?
Have those been the years that you needed me for?
Lord, how can I know that this isn't the end?
Were those all the hours that you had to lend?
Have I now fulfilled my small piece of your plan?
Have I walked and crawled for as long as I can?
Is there something more that you need me to do?
Or have I now faced all my demons for you?
If there's more to come then I beg you to show
And tell me why you still don't want me to go

~~~G~~~

You didn't know it's the final chapter
They didn't tell you there's nothing more
A final chance to be free and happy
A state worth living or dying for

You didn't know this is all you're getting
They didn't tell you to save your tears
The end is brutal and still upsetting
For those who haven't been whole for years

~~~G~~~

Your panties on my floor
Oh God, what have we done?
It's different than before
And now we cannot run

I clearly feel your taste
I guess this night was short
A friendship gone to waste
Too late now to abort

Our lips should not have met
You shouldn't still be here
I'm haunted by regret
I'm paralized by fear

The rays of morning sun
Draw flowers on your skin
Last night was more than fun
I'm terrified within

~~~G~~~

I don't know what to do in this state of despair
Used to dream of this life, now I'm stopping to care
I'm not living my dreams, and God knows I have tried
And God knows how my dreams and my future have died
Yes, I still have some time, maybe years, I don't know
I am still too alive to be ready to go
But I'm withered within and I know that it shows
At the core, this tree's sick even though it still grows

~~~G~~~

The ink on my arm still hurting and drying
It spells on my skin those words I hold dear
The future I sought, life keeps on denying
The struggle in me is what keeps me here

And after a life of constant depression
One feels like a fool for wanting too much
When decades have passed of silent discretion
There is no more shame in destiny's touch

I want this no more, this farce of a living
This farce of a life, illusion of breath
It seems what you get for taking and giving
Is one steady march toward sickness and death

~~~G~~~

People act so surprised when I tell them the date
But of course I recall when I entered this state
When my life fell apart, when all hope in me died
Who on Earth would forget all those tears that were cried?

~~~G~~~

I've waited all my life and tried to find my match
I won't play hide and seek, I won't play hard to catch
I'll trust you from the start until it feels unwise
I will not play the part of stranger in disguise

I'll tell you all I know and show you all I am
Sometimes I can be blunt, but I am not a scam
I hope you'll understand that I'm a troubled soul
But guided by your hand, I'll try to walk on coal

~~~G~~~

I have been clingy in the past
So if I want this thing to last
I'll have to try to keep it down
To be the thinker, not the clown

I want to text you and to call
I don't like silence, not at all
I don't like waiting anymore
That's not what I am famous for

~~~G~~~

Another useless day survived, another restless night ahead
I'm sweating due to summer sun, I'd like to sweat with you instead
Another set of memories comes uninvited like a slap
Of bodies plain and beautiful, beneath me or upon my lap
It's funny how the hours fly though nothing seems to happen here
My time is clearly running out and I just watch it disappear

~~~G~~~

Is there much use in going further?
It's seemed so pointless for so long
Whatever future I imagined
It's dawned on me that I was wrong

And where's the point in suffocating
When there will never be much air?
Would it be better just to vanish
When I am hardly ever there?

Don't tell me it will soon be better
When I've been waiting many years
When I've run out of hope and laughter
Like I've run out of pain and tears

Is there much use in growing older
Or in surviving all those days?
Or in experiencing pleasure
When nothingness is all that stays?

~~~G~~~

I'd like to say that men don't care what others think about them
And that I never do my hair before I leave the house
That I don't own a mirror for I just feel fine without them
And that I never shave my dick to please a chick or spouse

I'd love to say I love my curves and that I feel attractive
That I don't try to starve myself between those yummy fries
That I don't feel disgust or shame for being not so active
But these are things I cannot say because they would be lies

~~~G~~~

I'm lonely now they went to bed
I'm suddenly off duty
They're taken care of, kissed and fed
Now calm in all their beauty

I'm restless now I've come to rest
My head aches now it's quiet
I've done all day what I do best
Now I am on a diet

I've never been the social one
Who stays in crowded places
But every time a lover's gone
I can't forget their faces

~~~G~~~

Today the sun is warm
The flowers are in bloom
And Norah Jones' soft voice
Floats gently through the room

Today I'm feeling calm
And talking quietly
Though mostly to myself
Since no one's here with me

I'm more than halfway through
My second slice of cake
I'm spending money here
For spending money's sake

She sings "The long way home"
And I don't know the words
I've lost my home with you
I'm homeless and it hurts

I'm glad that you're not here
And you don't see me eat
It's all I ever do
A lifetime in defeat

~~~G~~~

She's gone for good, he thinks it's over
His life, his future, everything
And while he cries into his pillows
He still expects his phone to ring

It's so absurd and all so pointless
From now on she won't write or call
His bed, once crowded, now feels empty
He knows he will not sleep at all

He called in sick although they need him
He loves his job but he might quit
It's time to start a brand-new chapter
But first it's time to feel like shit

He texted all his friends this morning
They all wrote back immediately
They offered help and cleared their schedules
It's only her he wants to see

His chest feels strange, so dark and heavy
His heartbeat counts, the time goes by
Between his sobs there's room to wonder
Why people think that boys don't cry

~~~G~~~

Your world's come to a halt for now
The seconds stretching endlessly
You're caught in here and you avow
He's part of this eternity

You spread your legs and close your eyes
This night will always stay with you
And he moves in with grunts and sighs
But you did not allow him to

~~~G~~~

I'm easily afraid
I've never been that brave
I always played it safe
And still I do get laid

I never smoke or drink
I'm not a party guy
And when I do get high
I tend to overthink

And I may be a nerd
But am also cool
My word creations rule
And I can make them heard

I'm good at what I do
I'm good at shaping art
I'm versatile and smart
And good at pleasing you

~~~G~~~

I need you to remind me
Of love and how it feels
To look for me and find me
Release me of my seals

I need you to be gentle
To kiss me without haste
Each kiss is alimental
I need to feel your taste

You need to disobey me
To look me in the eye
Support me, don't betray me
Encourage me to try

I need you to believe me
To never doubt my words
To know me and conceive me
To get how much it hurts

I need your love and guidance
Your soft, warm helping hand
To form a strong alliance
Tear down this nightmare land

When fear and worries blind me
I need you to be strong
I need you to remind me
With you I can't go wrong

~~~G~~~

A lot of women feel safe in my arms for a while
They fall for honesty rather than charms and a smile
And in the end it is never my fault when they go
But they are bound to run off and I know

A lot of people are fooled and disarmed by the truth
It just feels strange to them that I've got nothing to prove
But in the end all I will ever have is just me
What would I gain by not letting you see?

~~~G~~~

Fantasy carries broken bodies through the clouds
Books are the life buoys we step on
Movies encourage us to visualize our doubts
Songs are the cushions we nap on

~~~G~~~

Oh yes, you can feel lonely when you're waking up
Next to somebody else in the morning
When you're naked and love bites show what you have done
Sometimes loneliness comes without warning

Oh yes, you can be sad when surrounded by friends
It's a perfectly natural feeling
You can't know in advance what reward you will get
For the hours of joy that you're stealing

~~~G~~~

You've done all you could
And you should
Be proud of yourself

You've gone through enough
And your love
Has been crippled

You've opened your heart
From the start
Played risky and fair

Knocked down once again
Now you can
Bleed a little

They always suggest
"Do your best
You'll get your reward"

But somewhere inside
Speech denied
Somethings doubting

You still have to give
Have to live
Have hope in a way

It's only at night
Without light
That you wonder

~~~G~~~

You've disappeared for good
And I could act surprised
But soon I understood
You were too compromised

You couldn't stay with me
Cause I can't stay alone
Our one fatality
The memories we own

I'll miss your naked breast
And how I made you wet
But I will do my best
To once again forget

I'll miss your fragile scent
Your juvenile physique
The way your body bent
Without the least fatigue

You've disappeared for good
And I won't cry a tear
I always knew you would
I cherished what was here

~~~G~~~

Your smile is hard to bear
And hard to look away
It's not polite to stare
I'm impolite today

You're such a pretty sight
You're such a pretty one
I look at you all night
I'm right where I belong

I'm losing my manners

Your hands are soft and nice
Could touch them all the time
It's such a strange surprise
To think that you are mine

Your lips look so alone
Can't let them unattached
Of all the lips I've known
Yours are my perfect match

I'm losing my mind

And if you must get dressed
And leave this place again
Then I'll feel glad and blessed
For once a lucky man

~~~G~~~

You say you'd fall in love; that's not an option
We both know well it wouldn't last
So you must do what's best and keep your distance
From this point on I'm in your past

You tasted really fine, this much I tell you
And I felt safe in your soft arm
But I suppose that's gone, and who could blame you?
I'm not at all a lucky charm

~~~G~~~

Too dark to see me stumble
Too dark to see things crumble
I'm gone beyond repair
But hidden from your stare
You tell me that you need me
No other words to feed me
No comfort anymore
That's what I'm breathing for
When someone goes, they mourn them
The ones who first have torn them
With ignorance and laughter
And tales of ever after
And endless faking
That caused the breaking
And headless lying
That led to dying
And all that shit
They won't admit
And everything
Just everything
Everything
They did

~~~G~~~

Tell me how many others you have waiting in line
If you're having a contest, if you're already mine
Tell me what to expect here, if I need to play hard
If I should go All in now, put my luck on one card

~~~G~~~

Don't know if I believe in a life after death
At this point I don't see life before it
And the darkness inside that consumes every breath
It gets harder each day to ignore it

Don't know if I still hope that the future will shine
It's so dark that the gray things seem shiny
And this future ahead, I don't know if it's mine
So I don't give a fuck if I'm whiny

Don't know if I'll be here just a few years from now
I've spent most of my life without smiling
Don't know if I'll be able to make it somehow
Troubles don't go away, they're just piling

~~~G~~~

Everyone's crying alone in some bed
Why can't they cuddle together instead?
Why do they keep to themselves every night
Rather than let someone else hold them tight?

Why are the lonely ones stubborn and proud?
Haunted by thoughts they're not saying aloud?
Why can't they comfort each other a bit
Rather than drowning alone in this shit?

~~~G~~~

Connections breaking off again
Sometimes it's my own choosing
For pulling back while I still can
Means more control than losing

I've terminated many times
What once felt fresh and fitting
I've written many cheerless rhymes
Much rather than admitting

Survival justifies my choice
Each time I go for less links
And no one hears my trembling voice
When I count former blessings

~~~G~~~

I'm not sure that I'm the person you would want to meet right now
I've had better days and weeks and I got stuck in here somehow
I don't think you'd be too happy with a guy as sad as me
Then again, if you accept me, I'll be better, hopefully

~~~G~~~

Du bist der schönste Mensch
It's true, I never lie
And if you asked me why
I couldn't start to name
All of the countless things
That make you beautiful

Du bist der schönste Mensch
To me you really are
My sun, not just some star
And if I had to chose
Everyone else or you
I wouldn't have to think

Du bist der schönste Mensch
In everything you do
Somehow it's always you
Who makes me come around
Who makes the day okay
Who scares the dark away

~~~G~~~

I'm so furious at you
For not being here with me
And for feeling quite okay
In the evenings

You're supposed to hold me tight
To enjoy my being near
And to write me on your own
And to be here

I'm so angry at the way
That you hide behind your walls
How you hardly ever call
How you hurt me

And I know that you don't know
That it's you I'm longing for
That your touch could calm me down
How I want you

~~~G~~~

Why did I even change the sheets?
It's only me here on this bed
Another one of many needs
That aren't satisfied or fed

Why did I even clean the floor?
No one can see it anyway
No one is knocking on my door
Today's as bad as any day

~~~G~~~

What if it's not me who's cold and empty?
What if it's my life, and I'm just stuck?
What if it's just everything around me?
Whatever it is, I'm out of luck.

What if it's not me who's lost and straying?
What if I'm exactly in my place?
What if I am not at all delaying?
What if this is simply not my race

~~~G~~~

You're waiting for his message, you're waiting for his call
You're tortured by the fear that he might not write at all
It's all that ever happens, it's all you ever do
You fall and they keep standing, they never fall for you

~~~G~~~

I'm waiting for a sign all day
I know it's quite pathetic
That's how I do it anyway
And maybe that's poetic

I always hope you'll write back soon
And prove that I'm not crazy
Stare at my screen all afternoon
And hope you're simply lazy

~~~G~~~

They call it emptiness, I call it way of life
They say it's just a phase, for me it's 9-to-5
And then it's 5-to-9 and 9-to-5 again
There is no weekend break, there is no dental plan
There is no "Smile and shine and all will be just fine"
It works for their dull lives, their lives were never mine
At least I'm proud to say my smiles are never fake
I never smile to lie or to conceal the ache
And it's not always bad, not every day is black
Some days are bright and good, until the dark is back
I don't mean dark outside, I'm talking dead within
Just kept alive by things that I have done and seen
A long long time ago, someplace I don't recall
Before it all went down, before the crash and fall
Before the cloud appeared, became a part of me
Replaced the blood with void within this heart of me

~~~G~~~

The night has passed, you're someplace else
And still my middle finger smells
The way it does when introduced
To parts that are so often used
To gain some peace by freaking out
By going wild and getting loud

Your scent entails some memories
Of late last night, of melodies
Drowned by your breath as well as mine
Of ice-cold fingers on my spine
Of how you gently pulled me near
By pressing legs against my rear

It was too dark to see your look
Guess the direction that it took
Delight and pain, they lie so close
Did I see teardrops on your nose?
And if I did, what did they mean?
Were you afflicted or serene?

~~~G~~~

Soft music playing in the dark
Your mouth is wet, I taste your sweat
Your breath is heavy, hot and close
Eyes open wide, you're by my side
Your perfect body keeps me warm
Your fingertips caress my lips
Don't know where all the sheets have gone
It seems likey they were in the way
Your scent in every breath I take
You're everywhere, you're always there
I touch you, kiss you, breathe you in
Down and on top, don't want to stop
We roll around and merge again
Again we're one, until we're done
With music playing in the dark
We fall asleep, so calm and deep

~~~G~~~

I cannot deal with seeing you
I frankly don't know what to do
Don't want to read about your day
Don't want to see that you're okay
Don't want to know who shares your bed
Want to pretend that you are dead
Instead of fucking someone else
A tale each post and picture tells

~~~G~~~

Don't tell me you're here when you're not here
The truth is I heard those words much more than once
I do understand why you left me
I do understand why you're gone

Don't tell me to call when you're hiding
What good is a friend who can't take how I feel?
I do understand why you're lying
And why what we had disappeared

Don't tell me you're fine when you're hurting
I thought that we said we would always be fair
Don't only be real when you're flirting
Don't say that you're here when you're there

~~~G~~~

I've wandered in circles
I lie here exactly like three years ago
I watch the same night sky
Within and around me the temperature low

I've stumbled in circles
Or maybe I haven't moved one step at all
I don't see the stars shine
The futures I build always crumble and fall

I've wandered in circles
And I do not think that my steps have been wrong
I know where I'm heading
I just didn't think it would take me so long

~~~G~~~

So much to do that won't get done
And rain outside instead of sun
The air is cold, the sky is gray
Another fucked up lonely day

~~~G~~~

He taught me with his touch and voice
I'm not the one who just annoys
The one who no one wants to see
The second choice, no longer me
He showed me that I'm worth his kiss
That I can be the one he'd miss
That I am more than just enough
The person he can trust and love
Because and not in spite of who
The years have turned my soul into
He kisses spots I never liked
Until I'm tingling, lewd and psyched
And when he tells me I look great
I know he won't accept debate
He won't accept my feeble lies
I have to see me through his eyes
So loving, deep and beautiful
So witty, clever, calm and cool
Inside those eyes there's only me
The only one he wants to see
Of whom he cannot get too much
It's in his voice and in his touch

~~~G~~~

The last night we had was really a blast
A night of that kind where memories last
The stereo on, the volume so low
There wasn't much sound, just rhythmical glow
It showered your skin with colors and shades
Like trees in the sun on midsummer glades
We kissed with this thirst and passion you own
Imprisoned in those who can't be alone
You rode me, you came, you screamed in my ear
Then soon once again, a third time so near
When back on your couch, all naked and done
A part of me felt what seemed lost and gone
Reminded of things so distant by now
I now understand that someday somehow
I'll feel them again and all will be good
And peaceful at last, I'll feel like I should
I can't give you love, but you made me see
I'll love once life's brought the right one to me

~~~G~~~

I walk this road of broken hearts
I know a few of them were mine
But others look familiar too
Was I the one who bled them dry?

I have to watch my every step
There's dried up tissue everywhere
Impossible to look away
It freaks me out but I must stare

I walk this road of broken hearts
And it is not a pretty sight
Some do have stitches, others don't
Help is so easily denied

I recognize some sad remains
I had forgotten long ago
Their cracks still fit my fingertips
My teeth or words that I once spoke

I walk this road of broken hearts
And broken souls and broken dreams
It seems absurd that they regrow
All looks so final and extreme

~~~G~~~

I'm still traveling this road and you're not the final stop
And I'm sorry that you know someone else will come on top
It's so good to hold you tight and to dream a little while
You're not perfect but you're right and you make me moan and smile

I still haven't reached this point where I'm finally at home
I still haven't found the one who's my shelter and my dome
And I'm sorry that you know you're just keeping me alive
But I beg you not to go, otherwise I can't survive

~~~G~~~

Why would you think that I don't want to hold you?
Why would you think I'd be shocked by your tears?
I am for real, just in case no one told you
I've seen much grief displayed over the years

Why would you think that I need entertainment?
Why would you think it's important to smile?
Fear blossoms faster in silent containment
And I enjoy when you're close for a while

~~~G~~~

I see the same old changes
The same old different looks
The same new authors writing
The same all different books

I hear the same new voices
They speak the same new words
Their new familiar preachings
To new familiar herds

~~~G~~~

I know you're upset
So why can't we talk?
Or go for a walk?
I'll take what I get

I know you're not well
So what do you hide?
You're not by my side
And still I can tell

I know you're uptight
So what did I do?
What's worrying you?
Let's just make this right

~~~G~~~

I love to explore the one I adore
The one that my heart has been hungering for
Her thorax expands, she's kissing my hands
Her whole body sways now, invites and demands
She's perfectly shaved, my tongue is enslaved
A kiss on the mouth is for those well-behaved
The wet open door too good to ignore
Each stroke of my tongue leaves us hungry for more
We're lost in our lust, we love and we trust
It's all pretty new but I know we'll adjust

~~~G~~~

What good is your body when your thoughts are not here?
It's work and not pleasure, you've made that quite clear
And I'm not aroused or excited at all
I might as well come, there's no reason to stall

~~~G~~~

You were the love of my life
Sometimes, I guess, you still are
Glad you don't know all the things
That happened after you

I got so lost in this world
By holding on to myself
I only felt the real me
While looking after you

~~~G~~~

I lost something again, it was not even mine
Kind of knew from the start that it soon would decline
Don't expect things to stay for they usually don't
Could be crying today but I guess that I won't
I have said it before, this is something I'd sign
Life goes up and goes down, it's a graph, not a line
I am sorry it hurts but not sorry we met
There is pain in my words but no hint of regret
I absorb what I get, value those I can't keep
For the pain and the joy, they go equally deep
It's been years since I felt what I'm longing to feel
So I borrow the time that I don't want to steal
Our paths only cross, they do hardly align
Thus the things that I lost, they were not really mine

~~~G~~~

Take me
Take me down
Take me to the point
Where I no longer question
Where we are simply joined

Take away my conscience
Take away my thought
Take me to a moment
A moment where
I'm caught

Love me
Love me physically
Love me till I bleed
And all that is of value
The flower and the seed

Take away my self-control
And take away my brain
I don't want to notice
If there is sun
Or rain

~~~G~~~

Today I miss me again
It feels so weird without me
There is something about me
That I can't live without

When will they kiss me again?
On this mouth that's been missing
This intense kind of kissing
That this life's all about

But till I'm back in my place
I'll make do with this being
Substituting what's fleeing
Almost eaten by doubt

~~~G~~~

I don't care who else can see it - I know you are in despair
Had your life mapped out before you, but somehow you're still not there
You have friends but you are lonely - you don't think they'd understand
You express your feelings only through the knife marks on your hand

You still laugh when something's funny but you used to laugh much more
Some days bad and some days better, still you're frozen at the core
They don't notice that you're crying 'cause you've long run out of tears
In your head your voice is screaming in a way nobody hears

You're convinced that help is useless, which is why you never ask
Breathing in and breathing out is your most pressing daily task
Though the air is getting thinner, it's enough for silent sighs
And your struggle may be quiet but I see it in your eyes

I can notice that you're broken 'cause I feel the same way too
And I know what stays unspoken in the dark inside of you
Doesn't matter what destroys you or if you will make it known
I've met hundreds more just like us - you will never be alone

~~~G~~~

When the darkness falls
And your booty calls
All the deaths I've died
Now seem simplified

When your lips meet mine
And you taste so fine
You can make me smile
For a little while

And your eyes, they laugh
What was cut in half
Seems like one again
Like a perfect man

You postpone my ache
Make my heart unbreak
Pieces feel like one
With your T-shirt gone

We're not serious
But it's fine with us
All that we hold dear
Is the now and here

You invite me in
And your perfect skin
Is so fresh and young
Soft against my tongue

It's not love we feel
But we're here for real
I am almost me
In your company

When we're done with lust
I don't feel disgust
And I guess that's more
Than I asked you for

With the rays of sun
All that was is gone
I'm a broken man
Till we meet again

~~~G~~~

While we break down, the world is turning
And while we run, it turns as well
If we're at peace or if we're burning
There is no way the world can tell

And if the world was gone tomorrow
Then I would spend tonight with you
It's one last night that I would borrow
Which otherwise I'd never do

I know I stunned you with my actions
I know I broke you with my words
Since I'm not sharing your affections
I cannot know how much it hurts

Wish I could love you every minute
I do agree my heart is dumb
I wish you were completely in it
I wish I didn't feel this numb

Now you're alone with all your sorrow
And there is nothing I can do
But if the world was gone tomorrow
Then I would spend tonight with you

~~~G~~~

The butterflies in spring
The children as they sing
There's innocence out here
While all we feel is fear

The dog that licks my hand
Will never understand
The dark complexity
That life bestows on me

Your eyes are red no more
Cause you have cried before
Your hand no longer shakes
To show how much it aches

He misses her so much
But she is out of touch
No evening goes by
That doesn't make him cry

She's friendly in the light
But long since dead inside
He broke her with his words
Not knowing how it hurts

Around me everywhere
The same old empty stare
We're scarred in many ways
Have fought through many days

The butterflies in spring
The children as they sing
Sometimes it seems unreal
There's still some joy I feel

~~~G~~~

Don't even talk to me
The last one that I spoke to is now in agony
And all because of me

Don't say that I am nice
If you believe I'm harmless, you're in for a surprise
Without fake smiles or lies

I have this quality
To crash your pretty heart in all brutality
If you confide in me

So stay away from this
There is a chance that I am not the one you miss
Be careful who you kiss

~~~G~~~

He pointed out her legs in stockings and a skirt
A shape that caught your eye so much it almost hurt
He said "Now look at this" and took one heavy breath
Her body promised life, her look as cold as death
She had an angel's face, the kinky, playful kind
That innocently said "Come, take me from behind"
One streak of hair was gray, the rest a dark brunette
And in her pretty hand a half-smoked cigaret
I'm not against gray hair, at least not as a rule
He said "She's smoking hot", I don't think smoking's cool
I let him make his move. We didn't have to fight
The smoky taste of hers ain't what I need tonight

~~~G~~~

I know I've disappeared
I've vanished for a while
It's nothing personal
I guess it's just my style
When things get rough again
I need to take my time
And to retreat a bit
And not to talk or rhyme
Not struck by ignorance
I do know that you care
And that you want to help
I'm very well aware
I do apologize
To people I neglect
I hope you understand
I mean no disrespect
Sometimes I need my space
Or need to be alone
Facing the darkest place
On what you'd call my own
I hope you realize
That people close to me
Make sure I won't give up
And chase my destiny
I understand you're hurt
That I can't let you in
But truth be told, my friend
In here the air is thin
Wait till my breaths get calm
And I come out again
Supported, yet alone
A fixed but broken man

~~~G~~~

There's no light on this path
I'm just moving my feet
Through the smothering dark
Where I can't see them bleed
There's no goal I can see
Little hope at the end
Just seems useful to me
To move on and not stand

There's no light in my eyes
Must have lost it someday
When the joy of a child
Slowly crumbled away
The most common of deaths
Although hardly observed
Fading into the black
Unprepared and unnerved

There's no light in my words
It's because I don't lie
I'm not well and it hurts
But I'm still getting by
Little hope at this point
Not so much you can do
Which is why I don't ask
Any favors of you

There's no light where I stand
There's no point, yet I go
Visionary or fool
This my future will show
It can pass anytime
Any minute be fine
But to fake happy eyes
I politely decline

~~~G~~~

You're kneeling there, waiting, your eyes open wide
You want me to see you've got nothing to hide
Your mouth slightly open, you're licking your lips
Your pink tongue is teasing with circles and flips
Your ass is uncovered, awaiting my palm
In spite of what's coming, you're quiet and calm
Your skin doesn't show yet the marks I will leave
The scratches and bruises you're bound to receive
Your eyes, they undress me, they want me to come
To play your warm body tonight like a drum
I kneel down and kiss you, you don't move at all
You know that I'm ready and I only stall
I stand up again and your eyes follow mine
Awaiting instructions, you're ready to shine

~~~G~~~

What is left of the girl that once played in the meadow?
That made crowns out of flowers and friends out of dreams?
When I look at her now, I see only a shadow
On a face that is carved by a life of extremes

What is left of the child that brought tea to my study?
And that knew every word to those children book songs?
What on Earth have they done to her beautiful body
When it's her alone to whom this body belongs?

What is left of the spark that she had in her laughter?
What is left of the joy that she had in her heart?
Was it her or her looks that those monsters were after?
What could ever excuse that they tore her apart?

What is left of her now and is she even in there?
Both her eyes are so hollow, it scares me like hell
And I know there are others alive who have been there
But if she'll live again, I'm unable to tell

~~~G~~~

In the end it is torture
To know you don't care
Your photos so vivid
I'm wet from your stare

In the end it is hopeless
I already knew
I was just a chapter
Of many to you

In the end I am small now
You made me feel great
You made me feel special
Someone you would date

In the end I am hurting
I'm broken once more
I'm burned by your flirting
Much worse than before

~~~G~~~

It's just my heart that acts slutty
It isn't me as a whole
Okay, I sometimes act nutty
But I'm not dumb, all in all

I act against better judgement
When something really feels right
And what the words or the touch meant
I'll find out after tonight

~~~G~~~

I'm standing in the crowd
My eyes, they scream so loud
My past is here with me
I wish that you could see
I'm standing in between
The jester and the queen
And they both scream with me
And they both scream with me

No matter where we go
We know we'll always know
The bitter days we've seen
The places that we've been
Though many could replace
Scars with a happy face
It's always underneath
It's always underneath

And when the road is walked
And all the talks are talked
Who will be here with me?
Who will be here with me?
Will I still stand between
The jester and the queen?
And will they scream with me?
Will they still scream with me?

~~~G~~~

Kiss me with that sweet big mouth
Swallow what I kept inside
Open up and I will give
What you've always been denied

Hold me with those smooth soft arms
Own me with your perfect skin
Feel my pulse go strong and fast
Where my flesh is wearing thin

Love me every way you can
Give your fragile self to me
Helpless and with both eyes closed
Lead me to serenity

~~~G~~~

You're not the first to call me such beautiful names
But I hope that you might be the last one
I have no thirst for any more halfhearted games
But I hope that this one is at last won

You're not the first to cloud all my doubting and fears
But I hope that you're ready to guide me
And when I burst and melt into insecure tears
Then I hope that you will be beside me

~~~G~~~

Your demons play with mine
Out in the summer rain
They seem relaxed and fine
Right now we don't feel pain

We're lucky that they match
Most people cannot see
How hard it is to catch
What you have here with me

~~~G~~~

I guess you're right
It doesn't matter
The things that were
They're over now

We both have changed
And for the better
We'll try to make
It work somehow

I'm still afraid
You weren't perfect
You made mistakes
And quite a few

But so did I
When I was different
The one I'm now
Will try with you

~~~G~~~

I must, you say, enjoy my life
But this is not my life
I haven't seen it for a while
I don't know where it's gone

I should be glad with what I have
But how can this be all?
And what about the things I've lost?
The things I used to own?

You say not every dream comes true
But I'm not talking dreams
I'm talking things I had, I knew
When I was still complete

~~~G~~~

Don't know my stories anymore
I've told them many times before
Can't tell the villains from the rest
Not sure who really did their best

I try to tell you where I've been
The obstacles and highs I've seen
It's getting harder to recall
To structure and explore them all

~~~G~~~

Walking my fingers down your spine
I kind of wonder if you're mine
Vaginal fluids on my teeth
Show that I did go underneath

But I'm not sure how deep we go
Although our liquids squirt and flow
I wish that there was more exchange
I wish it wouldn't feel this strange

~~~G~~~

It kills me. Your soft words in my ear.
So painful as you whisper them near.
I know you. More than anyone else.
Your mouth's soft. But the words that it tells
Are fire. Glowing blades through my flesh.
I'm bleedng. And the pain is so fresh.

I love you. More than I could explain.
Why else would I endure all this pain?
I'm quiet. I just listen to you.
I'm dying. Can't believe this is true.
You're lying with your innocent voice.
I'm smiling like I don't have a choice.

~~~G~~~

Don't tell me what to write
I'm writing what I feel
The words need to be right
The mood needs to be real

Don't tell me where to go
You don't know where I've been
I choose which steps to show
Or to keep locked within

Don't tell me how it feels
Don't tell me I should smile
I know most damage heals
But it will take a while

~~~G~~~

It's here again, it missed me
I closed my eyes, it kissed me
I shivered when it hugged me
Stayed quiet while it fucked me

It's close again, inside me
No friend or wall could hide me
It knows me much too well now
I dodge and it can tell how

It's here again, it hurts me
It worries and alerts me
It's dark and devastating
Not loving and not hating

In all this suffocation
It offers inspiration
That's how I'm getting paid now
Yes, this is our trade now

The pain inside me lingers
The darkness leads my fingers
And I fulfill my duty
Write lines so full of beauty

~~~G~~~

Whenever you're happy, they'll try to bring you down
They're not gonna stop till they see you cry or frown
It's not that they're bastards, it's just how they were raised
Combined with the drama and challenges they faced

Whenever you're laughing, they'll want to see you stop
Each treasure you're holding, they want to see you drop
It's not like they know that they're ignorant and mean
They're shaped by the hatred and fear that they have seen

Whatever attracts you, they'll want to get there first
Not out of affection but driven by their thirst
Don't let them outrun you but focus on your aim
And never forget us, the ones from whom you came

Wherever you're going, the reason must be you
The path that you're choosing is walked by just a few
You'll always be special, no matter who you are
And walking for others will never get you far

Whatever you're doing, please do it out of love
Of envy and vengeance this world has seen enough
The face in your mirror deserves the love you've got
Don't think for a second that maybe it does not

Your path won't be lonely; you'll touch a lot of lives
Connections you're making might break or might survive
The faces of strangers deserve your love and care
But don't hesitate to get rid of those unfair

Whenever you're happy, it's time to spread your glee
And try not to stop till it's happiness you see
Not everyone's nice but some nicer than the rest
Whatever you're doing, just try to be your best

~~~G~~~

Do you feel it?
Something's breaking
On the road that we are taking
Do you hear it?
Something's crying
Unaware that we are trying
Did you notice?
Things got harder
Sunrise got a little farther
Does it matter?
Why retreat now?
Why should we admit defeat now?
It was clear that
There'd be sorrow
Still I want to see tomorrow

~~~G~~~

I miss your naked clitoris
Its taste against my lips
Your gentle fingertips
Exposing where your treasure is

My tongue exploring stroke by stroke
This soft wet sacred spot
I'm giving all I've got
To where your innocence once broke

And I keep swallowing the juice
Of pleasure and delight
I'm kissing you tonight
Like I've got nothing left to lose

~~~G~~~

Stop being so great, please
It's really annoying
My heart and my dick are
Both used to some toying

Stop being a charmer
Stop being amazing
And cover your boobs
My eyes hurt from the gazing

Stop being so gentle
The hell are you thinking?
I'm sure that you know how
My doubts keep on shrinking

And why would you say that
I'm funny and clever?
I knew that already
Don't mention it, ever

Stop screaming and crying
Whenever we're fucking
And spare me your mouth
That's so perfectly sucking

I really don't get why
You have to destroy me
Stop being so perfect
Please stop to annoy me

~~~G~~~

You see beauty in actions that scare me
In dominance, pain and control
Are these things with which you want to share me?
Cause I'm still afraid of them all

I fear pain for it won't give me freedom
I don't want my body enslaved
To abandon it, that would be treason
So wrong after all that it gave

As for dominance, how can you trust me?
I'm dangerous when in control
There's a darkness inde me you must see
I can't let it swallow me whole

I need someone who comes as my equal
In life and in sex and in love
Long gone tragedies don't need a sequel
Of mind games I have had enough

And I do understand your obsession
With things that are pure and extreme
There's a new kind of trust in your passion
Not dark like at first it may seem

But how can I be able to give you
The level of love that you need?
Hypothetically, if I stayed with you
I'm scared of where this path may lead

~~~G~~~

We love. We fall. We break our faces.
We smile while our heartbeat races.
We trust. We fail. We're disappointed.
Sometimes we don't see what we point at.

We love. We fall. We break connections.
Entangled in the wrong affections.
We trust. Succeed. We make it better.
Once that we've found the things that matter.

~~~G~~~

Show me your wounds, every crack, every scar
All the red lines that have shaped who you are
Show me your bruises, how bad they may be
I cannot promise I'll like what I see

Show me your weakness, make me understand
Let me explore with the palm of my hand
All they have done to you, all you have felt
All of the monsters with which you have dealt

And if I'm scared, do not let me forget
This too is part of the you that I met
Given the time, I will learn to embrace
All the torn skin that is part of your grace

~~~G~~~

And again you unarm me, just one look and I'm done
Without effort you harm me, making pain out of fun
And again you just strike me like a slap in the face
You may act like you like me but it's hardly the case

Oh, I don't want to be here, you are turning me on
It's so easy to see, dear, even with the lights gone
Could you please just get lost now? I don't know what to do
Such an overpriced cost how I am burning for you

~~~G~~~

For a time I was worried that I'd forgotten how to trust
That I only remembered how to do leisure, fun and lust
For a while I had feared that I had unlearned to let me fall
Now I know 'cause I've seen it: no need to worry, none at all

~~~G~~~

I smell you on my fingers
A little piece that lingers
Of secrets I detected
In regions much neglected
In wet and covered places
I came across those traces
Of physical desire
Of hidden liquid fire
My fingers were the first to
Unleash and treat the thirst you
Soon spilled across me, shaking
All ready for the taking
I stared into your trapped eyes
Inducing me to baptize
Your body with my kisses
And give it what it misses
I do recall you sighing
And for a minute crying
The rest is more than hazy
You managed to amaze me

~~~G~~~

Something feels empty here today
I hope the chill is just the weather
I hope tomorrow I'll be better
I hope next week I'll be okay

An ice-cold shiver down my spine
And in the end it doesn't matter
And maybe I should wear a sweater
And when I do I will be fine

~~~G~~~

Sex is best when you scream, when I'm making you high
I don't need the extreme, but I cannot deny
When you're shaky and wet, when it's pleasant for you
When you're covered in sweat, that's when I'm happy too

~~~G~~~

Not now. Not this.
You know that I want you
Right now I don't want to
It doesn't feel right

Not now. Not this.
You know how I'll miss you
To fuck and to kiss you
To hold you so tight

Not now. Not this.
There's no explanation
The strangest sensation
We must let it go

Right now. Just this.
Those weekend romances
They bring consequences
Which ones, I don't know

~~~G~~~

What a kiss, what passion
In this innocent fashion
What a look, so thirsty
From the woman who nursed me

What a grip, so forceful
While your eyes are remorseful
And your pants inviting
What your lips are igniting

~~~G~~~

I'm worried when you're teasing me
I know that hearts break easily
But sometimes that's a risk I take
To let it burn and let it break

~~~G~~~

I'm not in love, not even close
Emotions aren't what arose
But I can tell you truthfully
I like the way you're soothing me
And in the end that's what I need
A soul that doesn't make me bleed
I'm more than grateful that I found
Someone I like to have around
There is no romance in my touch
But there's afffection, pure and much
So when I take or kiss your hand
I'm hoping that you understand

~~~G~~~

Not now. Not this.
Please give me an hour
The bee and the flower
They will have to wait

Not now. Not this.
I'm just hesitating
There's no harm in waiting
It won't be too late

Not now. Not this.
It wouldn't be right now
I don't want a fight now
I just want a pause

For now. Just this.
Don't want you to hurry
There's no need to worry
And you're not the cause

~~~G~~~

Don't take the pain from me
It should be plain to see
With all the torture gone
What would remain of me?

I know you'll disagree
But trust me, this is me
The hope for change is why
I'm sleeping blissfully

~~~G~~~

You feel alone in a world that's not your own
You know that no one ever cares
You hold your breath every time you think of death
Surprised that no one ever stares

Long time ago, you once let somebody know
The way you really feel inside
But in the end you just lost another friend
You know now it is best to hide

Day after day, you expect them to betray
Because that's all they've ever done
This life's a mess and you're breathing less and less
Your breaths get fewer till they're none

~~~G~~~

You're a chapter that cannot be closed like this
Even though you have stepped into the abyss
I will carry you with me all through my life
Deep down knowing that closure will not arrive

You're a chapter that many will never read
It's not hard to get burned in the freezing heat
I will know you by heart many years from now
Skipping pages is something I don't allow

You're a chapter that doesn't just end with death
I will utter the words till I'm out of breath
And those closest to me, they will read it too
All the things that went down between me and you

~~~G~~~

You come inside me and I scream
It's half reality, half dream
Your hands are clawed into my hair
Your eyes wide open, empty stare
You're panting loudly, just like me
Your body's shaking heavily
Our lips are dry but I am wet
And in the air the scent of sweat
And I'm fulfilled and I am pleased
And satisfied, to say the least
We had a blast, I'm beat and sore
Although a part of me wants more
In any case, I'll have to wait
We're entering the lazy state
You rest your heavy head on me
And I will wait impatiently

~~~G~~~

I feel ugly sometimes and not at all wanted
And my own little rhymes seem painfully haunted
I don't like my own sight, so fat and disgusting
I'm not new to this fight but I'm still adjusting

I believe when they say I bring satisfaction
And I'm good at this play, I form a connection
But it's hard to believe they find me attractive
With the love I receive I'm highly selective

Sometimes I hate my face, it's my way of being
And I want to erase the image I'm seeing
But there are also days that aren't so shitty
When my body and face are actually pretty

~~~G~~~

Close your body around me
Let me feel your warm core
I was cold when you found me
I'm not cold anymore

Feel my every movement
Make my motions your own
None of us wants the truth bent
So we don't speak a tone

Let your legs feel and hug me
Press your chest against mine
Gently whispering "Fuck me"
Let our bodies align

Keep your lips pressed against me
Share my taste and my breath
Join a pure and condensed me
In a sensual death

~~~G~~~

Love me, get me out of here
This life, this prison that I've built
Please take control and stop my guilt
Please take my hand and walk with me

Love me, get inside of me
And let me get inside of you
I need your naked body too
Around me like a warming shield

Love me, make me love you too
Make this alliance feel alright
Make me feel more alive at night
And safe between your warming limbs

Love me, do not leave my side
And understand where I have been
Why it is cold beneath my skin
Why I can't leave this state alone

~~~G~~~

The stress is loud, the cheering crowd, it's scaring me.
Can't sleep at night, no change in sight, no dignity.
I wanted this, but the abyss, it only grew.
How to escape this endless rape, I wish I knew.

~~~G~~~

I try to be my best, you know
But I am still so mean sometimes
Seems like I punish on the go
Those who have not committed crimes

I try to be a gentle man
In daytime like I am at night
But I am not a gentleman
And I don't always do what's right

~~~G~~~

I'm not bonding just for bonding's sake
I'm impervious to that mistake
I'm not looking for an open ear
I've got people who are always here
I don't desperately need a friend
I am quite selective in the end
If I feel it, I will let you know
I'm not saying that you have to go
But I'm not your buddy, not your mate
And I'd rather keep this stable state

~~~G~~~

Another day starting, another night gone
Another closed chapter, again moving on
Another door opens, so many are shut
Sometimes life is really a pain in the head

~~~G~~~

You don't want to leave and I don't want you to go
It's truly absurd that we should both feel this low
When four days ago I did not know you at all
And now it appears you're all that I can recall

~~~G~~~

Don't listen to them. They're not even here.
The anger you feel is nothing but fear.
Try not to respond. It wouldn't go well.
What's inside your head, you don't need to tell.
Just listen to me. Forget all the rest.
Please focus, relax. I know that you're stressed.
You don't need to be. Just know that I'm here.
The chaos you feel, it's nothing but fear.

~~~G~~~

I woke up next to the wrong person once more
A person I've woken up next to before
Again I'm disgusted and I want to run
I knew this would happen; it spoiled last night's fun
Again I feel restless and so out of place
Not willing to look at your tedious face
I'm trying to find all the clothes that I wore
Between some used condoms and lint on the floor
I don't want to wake you or to interact
My back hurts though you are the one who got smacked
Once out of the room, I'm soon down on the street
It was a mistake sleeping under your sheet
I'll make it again 'cause I've made it before
I'll wake up next to the wrong person once more

~~~G~~~

You can't expect me to keep
The promises I never made
I know your feelings go deep
But they were not part of the trade

You can't expect me to stay
Not in your life, nor in your bed
Don't hold against me today
Those things that I have never said

~~~G~~~

My sheets smell like her and they shouldn't, they shouldn't
I should have said No but I couldn't, just couldn't
Yes, I screwed things up really badly, so badly
When her and I messed up those silk sheets so madly

~~~G~~~

Remember the time when our love felt all new?
Those magical days full of joy for us two?
Remember the nights that we spent wide awake?
All intimate just for intimacy's sake

I touched you as often as I got the chance
Our daily routine such a lighthearted dance
And sleeping without you just didn't feel right
Those hours we spent on the phone late at night

The years have gone by and I know you so well
Whatever you're feeling, I can always tell
It only makes sense that our love now feels old
But high are the flames, they will never turn cold

~~~G~~~

Versprich mir nicht Dinge, die du nicht halten willst
Wenn du heute nur deinen Durst mit mir stillst
Ich hab nie gefragt nach dem was du mir versprichst
Doch glaub mir, dass du mir das Herz trotzdem brichst

Versprich mir nicht Dinge, die du nicht halten kannst
Wenn du heut mit meinen Erwartungen tanzt
Denn einst ausgesprochen sind Versprechen real
Und glaub mir, Enttäuschung ist mir nicht egal

Versprich mir nicht Dinge, die du gar nicht so meinst
Weil du meine Welt nicht zu würdigen scheinst
Ich merke mir alles, auch wenn du es vergisst
Sei achtsam, mit wem du so unbeschwert bist

~~~G~~~

I drown my sorrows in his arms
For your arms only smother me
They won't let go, they're hurting me
They violate my dignity

I know it's wrong I run to him
I hate myself for what I do
The only way to make it through
This hell that's been evoked by you

I'm trapped in this relationship
That sucks my will to live away
My will to make it through the day
My strength, my hope to be okay

And you hold on to what's not there
To something that will never show
You'd rather suffer than let go
But I must out of here and grow

~~~G~~~

Yes, I surrender
Take me now
I promise I won't fight again
Come take me, make me work somehow
I was so sure when it began

Yes, I surrender
I give up
Give in to what you want from me
We met when I was just a pup
You broke me, please don't set me free

~~~G~~~

You'll wake up and never know what he did
Your head numb, your throat hurts, you'll feel like shit
There's no way to know what he gave to you
To know if the actions implied are true
You'll get up and start looking for your pants
So dizzy and drunk, almost like in trance
You won't know what went down that blacked out night
You'll just know what happened was not alright
And while you walk home you'll try to recall
What happened, but you'll have no clue at all
Still you're kinda happy he played a part
And you hate yourself and your stupid heart

~~~G~~~

You lost faith in this life, you lost faith in your god
You lost faith in yourself and it scares you a lot
Over time, one by one, you lost faith in your friends
And you're starting to see where this one-way road ends

~~~G~~~

You prayed to the moon but she guided you badly
So you lost your faith, now you're guideless and sadly
Things still haven't changed, you're still not a winner
As you cut off weight, the air's getting thinner

~~~G~~~

Where the fuck are you? Why don't you run?
Are you still taken? Still having fun?
How can it be that you're still not here
When you're so open, real and sincere?

Or could it be that you've gotten lost?
That our paths have already crossed?
But you're not on yours, and could it be
That you are waiting? Waiting for me?

~~~G~~~

Tie me to my seat
Let me feel some heat
Rub your skin on mine
Watch me while I dine

Feed me what you leak
Give me what I seek
Let me have your taste
Dripping from your waist

Sit down on my thighs
Lock onto my eyes
Then embrace my cock
Let our waistlines rock

~~~G~~~

The door through which she left
It hasn't yet been closed
The sunlight through the frame
So oddly overdosed
Her path across the field
It can be followed still
Her footprints can be found
Just try it and you will
And in this empty room
The same old tasteless air
Filled with the same old dust
Sometimes so hard to bear
The only thing in here
That keeps us where we stand
Is continuity
That carries on as planned

~~~G~~~

Be here. Be still.
Be all that I cling to.
The child that I sing to.
The lover I kiss.

Be here. Be still.
The one who can hold me.
Who wouldn't assault me.
The one that I miss.

Be here. Be still.
Don't ever desert me.
Do nothing to hurt me.
Just promise me this.

~~~G~~~

I don't want to conquer anymore
I don't want to have to fight for you
If you really are worth fighting for
You would make a step and make it true

I don't want to be the prince again
Batteling yet another giant wall
If it's love you want and I'm that man
You are not afraid to jump and fall

I don't want to stand here patiently
Waiting for the gods to cast their spells
If it's your intent to wait and see
I suggest you wait with someone else

I have had my share of conquering
But it's not a princess I desire
Be a woman, give me everything
Meet my heart with equal force and fire

~~~G~~~

A gentle kiss, a knowing smile
The obvious is not her style
She leads you to her special place
You feel aroused by her embrace
Her bathing gown, now on the floor,
Exposes her intent and more
You swallow hard but don't retreat
Then follow her inviting lead
Without a word you close the door
Another bathrobe on the floor
She's on her bed, awaiting you
You are uncertain what to do
She grabs your waist and pulls you close
Into a more convenient pose
Your lips reach out, she meets your kiss
So firm yet soft, the taste of bliss
Her fingers everywhere on you
Comply is all that you can do
There is no reason now to hide
The way you want her deep inside
And while her lips caress your breast
You must admit that she's the best
So you react, no longer scared,
A thing like this, it must be shared

~~~G~~~

I've seen pretty faces, I've kissed one or two
And I've been with women more skinny than you
Symmetrical beauties with soft, flawless skin
So full of temptation, so empty within
Relying on looks to make up for their lack
Of wit or compassion, of loving me back
Those layers of makeup can't hide what's not there
Those breasts can't attract my respect, just my stare
They carry invisible signboards that say
"Come fuck me, come use me, then throw me away"
You're not perfect, darling, thank God you are not
It's part of this much stronger beauty you've got

~~~G~~~

Love is more than a feeling, it's some feelings combined
It's an utterly complex, versatile state of mind
It's a mixture of missing, satisfaction and aches
It's the determination to do all that it takes
It's the joy and the longing, it's the promise of peace
It's the selfish desire to be selfless and please
It's the power that drives you, lets you go on and on
Or the firm grip that holds you when all reason is gone
Compromising your balance, it can stop you and kill
All your determination, all your hope or your will
It is pure and confusing, it is deadly and good
Makes you say or forget all the things that you should
It is torture or pleasure, calm or toxic and wild
Turns you into a madman or a mother or child
It is all of those things and still none of the above
I don't think there's one valid definition of love

~~~G~~~

Two people, one blanket, four legs intertwined
Enjoying for once peace of heart and of mind
A nice, subtle scent and some mild body heat
Much used to my diet, I cherish this treat

My arm getting numb from the weight of your head
I could turn around and lie comfy instead
But that way I might lose your hand on my face
So I dare not move; I won't end this embrace

~~~G~~~

Ever wonder why it's so cold outside
When the heat in here makes you sweat?
Ever ponder on where the light has gone
When those lamps are all that you get?

Ever think about why it feels so loud
When a movie's the only sound?
Ever think you can, if you take a stand,
Turn your life completely around?

~~~G~~~

I fell and you caught me, I called and you came
When it comes to fondness, we're one and the same
Both tender and gentle but we do not play
You know all about me and it feels okay

You know of my errors but you'd never judge
I can't stop expressing how you mean so much
You know of my struggles and how much I fight
With all that went wrong, you're one thing that went right

~~~G~~~

I don't seek comfort in the past
For by its nature it can't last
Nostalgia is not a mate
Far in the future lies my fate

~~~G~~~

Incredibly empty; and nothing makes sense
Don't know who stroke this time: pretense or defense
Again all seems pointless, again all seems blank
All doubts seem so grown-up while self-esteem shrank

Don't even feel broken; I never felt fixed
Words screamed and unspoken, they seem intermixed
Again there is heartache; it's clouding my mind
Each one hard to deal with, much worse when combined

~~~G~~~

Put some makeup on your scars
We all have parties to attend
Shine and sparkle, raise the bars
There's reputation to defend

Smile and flirt and dance tonight
And let them use you once again
You'll regret what now feels right
It wouldn't change things if you ran

~~~G~~~

You tell me all about your ex while opening your pretty legs
I kiss your neck, remove your shirt and you explain how much it hurt
The things he said that cut so deep, the promises he did not keep
You leaving him was for the best; your bra unhooked, I kiss your breast
I ask you if you are still sad; you blow me stiff, then shake your head
It's been a while, you're merely pissed; my penis grows inside your fist
And then you ride me, kiss my neck; by now you wouldn't take him back
Cause life goes on, new things arrive and someone else will call you wive
You're screaming, shaking through and through; I like those carefree talks with you

~~~G~~~

Why do you show me that you cry
When you won't let me dry your eye
Why do you call me late at night
When you don't want me by your side
I find it hard to understand
That you turn down my helping hand
And I can feel somewhere inside
I'm starting to shut down and hide

~~~G~~~

It's a cliché, the way I live
Cause I've got so much love to give
The wrong ones see it, no right ones do
I guess that makes them the wrong ones too

~~~G~~~

I don't like flirting, don't like teasing
The kind that never leads to pleasing
I don't like cheating, don't like lying
Promoting things that no one's buying
I don't like having fun and playing
When in the end it means betraying
Don't like pretending, don't like faking
And all those things that cause us aching

~~~G~~~

A coat of loneliness shelters the rain from me
Protects the world against what only few can see
The black abyss of void could swallow some of those
Who do not comprehend the risks of coming close

~~~G~~~

Now you've seen a glimpse. Do my demons scare you?
Or annoy you at least? Are you pissed? How dare you?!
They're a part of me. I did not invent them.
They have always been here and I represent them.
I will not discuss all my wicked weakness.
I've had so many years with my own uniqueness.
You don't understand how I've learned to handle
All my internal flames, tame them, light a candle.
Sometimes they go wild and they burn me badly.
And I've learned to stay strong and move on but sadly
No one else can see how much strength I muster.
But those times that I fail, they can feel disaster.

~~~G~~~

You're pretty, yes, and eloquent
Hard-working and intelligent
You're likable and not so poor
A lucky person, that's for sure

But when the moon's the only light
There's no one that you kiss goodnight
Of lies and lust you've seen enough
How could you trust it's really love?

~~~G~~~

I never thought that love was blind
Sometimes shortsighted, yes, or dumb
But I am rather hurt than numb
So it is often pain I find

We all are always on our way
And sometimes all of us get lost
By living we accept this cost
By moving on we'll be okay

~~~G~~~

She fucked me good and hard last night
Just standard sex, no special stuff
But she was pretty, she was tight
Was good at gentle and at rough

There wasn't that much love involved
And not much talking in between
Somtimes new problems can be solved
By things that you've already seen

~~~G~~~

And then she hugged me on the train
And I did not know who she was
She just ignored all social laws
And I did clearly not complain

She threw her arms around my neck
She pulled me close, she smelled so nice
Completely startled and surprised
I just gave in to her attack

For many seconds I was safe
In her embrace, so soft and strange
Then she walked on, no words exchanged
And left me stunned by what she gave

~~~G~~~

The thought of coming inside you
Has crossed my mind more thane once
It lifts the weights from my shoulders
All those unbearable tons

The thought of passionate screaming
Your legs surrounding my waist
Your eyes so wet from emotion
Your gentle face so amazed

The thought of bringing you pleasure
With rhythmic pressure and thrusts
Of you consuming my sorrow
Letting me in with such trust

The thought of sharing our darkness
Of sharing all that we are
This thought's consoling and soothing
Better than others by far

~~~G~~~

When I was sixteen, it all felt so new
Her patient soft hand taught me what to do
And I felt the sparks, and I could explore
The feelings, the skin and oh so much more

It's so long ago, yet I can recall
The songs that we played, remember them all
Her breasts in my hands, her lips everywhere
Sometimes I forget I really was there

We shared everything in so many ways
I recognized love in her silent gaze
She wasn't a wolf but neither a lamb
And she made me see who I really am

~~~G~~~

You don't have to protect me
I know what I can bear
And as long as you need me
I will always be there

Yes, I know that it hurts me
But it's my choice to make
Don't you worry about me
I know what I can take

~~~G~~~

Before my head explodes, I let my sorrow out
In rather quiet ways; I do not often shout
Before I go insane, I take the thing that hurts
And make it visible, and put it into words
It's often all the same, and there's no good reply
It matters anyway that someone sees me cry

~~~G~~~

Will you ever understand
What I'm doing for you?
When things get so out of hand
I stay patient and true
Will you ever really know
What I'm feeling inside?
It's my strong side that I show
But the aching I hide
For you hurt me every day
And I cry behind doors
I'll be fine, so it's okay
It's my problem, not yours

~~~G~~~

Not broken though it's got some scars
Been beaten black and blue at times
Of those who did commit these crimes
Not one is behind iron bars

Not bleeding though there are still cuts
It's pumping blood so restlessly
The marks not everyone can see
Look closer if you have the guts

Not dying though not much alive
It's learned to work in safety mode
And to avoid what may explode
It's necessary to survive

~~~G~~~

With a smile he leans back
Waiting for the attack
Within seconds she's there
With a fake angry stare
And she shows him her teeth
Then her hands go beneath
His black shirt and he screams
Her hands frozen, it seems
First a triumphant grin
Then she's kissing his chin
That's the answer you get
For "Your teddy looks fat"

~~~G~~~

He is licking his wounds, feeling cheated again
Staring down at the hands of a too patient man
Hands that will never touch what those other hands did
And that will not be held when he's feeling like shit
It's ironic and sad how he covers his cuts
He will never reveal how she's driving him nuts
And it was his own choice, or at least so she says
She who cannot be told of the dark in his days

~~~G~~~

Could you please turn off the sex songs?
They're distracting and they're rude
I'm already more than stripping
Put my heart out in the nude

Could you please refrain from teasing?
I'm not in the mood tonight
Dirty fun and silly flirting
Although playful, don't feel right

~~~G~~~

Afraid of going there
Where everyone will stare
They'll know my weakest side
And there's no room for pride
No room for being strong
It all went down so wrong
Before I go and cry
At least I have to try

~~~G~~~

Don't you feel it, how it hurts me, when you talk about his lips
How you're longing for his kisses and his pressure on your hips
And he's not the first to hurt me and he will not be the last
All those heartaches that you're feeling, sometimes they go by quite fast

And each time I am the shoulder that you cry on when you break
And each time I am the one who has to help you through your ache
But I'm silent, not complaining, it is far far from my mind
Cause I want to be the first one that you call when left behind

So I listen to your stories, and believe me, they feel real
I experience an echo of the heartache that you feel
Every idiot that you mention leaves a tiny scar on me
For they've owned a part of you that I will never ever see

~~~G~~~

Why would you think that I'd desert you?
That I'd be gone after one fight?
Yes, you hurt me and yes, I hurt you
But I believe we'll be alright

I said I loved you and I meant it
And I'm not one to run away
The friendship that I represented
Is just as dear to me today

~~~G~~~

Getting up is the tough part
Getting by is okay
Getting tired the outcome
Of another long day

~~~G~~~

Why don't you find me attractive?
Why can't you love me at all?
The only ones on your mind are
The sporty, skinny and tall

It's not that I am bad-looking
Or an insult to the eye
But you could never be with me
And I don't understand why

~~~G~~~

The pitch black curtains fell again
And with them my defenses
By day I am a broken man
By night I've lost all senses

Those demon wings that shelter me
They're neither fiend nor ally
When finally they've dealt with me
The parts alive will sell high

~~~G~~~

How dare you judge my heartache?
Negate the way I feel?
Because it doesn't match your own
You tell me it's not real?

And who are you to tell me
I chose to feel this sad?
Why don't you keep your distance if
My choices are this bad?

~~~G~~~

I wish I could cry more often
I wish I could just let go
Allow my hard shell to soften
And let all my aching flow

I wish that my tears could cleanse me
I wish I could heal within
I know my hard face defends me
It works but it's way too thin

~~~G~~~

You spend way too much time worrying about looks
Wondering why the people you meet are so fake
Size, shape, color and style are important to you
Then you wonder why they see your face, not your ache

~~~G~~~

When I hold you, do you think that this is only for you?
That there's something on my mind that I would much rather do?
That I'm wasting precious time when I am watching you weep?
That I don't want you to call me late at night when I sleep?
Do you think that you annoy me with your problems and rants?
That you're ugly when you've cried and you are wearing old pants?
Do you really think that any of these statements are true?
Don't you get that I'm enjoying every second with you?
All your problems, it's a priviledge for me to be told
Don't you see that I am held when it is you that I hold?

~~~G~~~

I'm here for you, not against you
And my arms are not a cage
You can easily get out of
My embrace at any stage

I need physical attention
I don't mean the naughty type
Even though I like it dirty
I don't understand the hype

Sometimes it feels so much better
Just to hold a friendly hand
Or to touch a friendly shoulder
Just to say, "I understand"

There's no need for you to panic
When I reach out for your face
I'm not in it for the kissing
I will not invade your space

~~~G~~~

Don't you want me now? Was that all that we had?
Shouldn't there have been more after all that we said?
Shouldn't there have been closeness of different kinds
Wasn't there so much more in our dreams, on our minds?
Shouldn't we have been able to do so much more?
Don't you want me now, when your heart is still sore?

~~~G~~~

I need love to live.
I need gifts to give.
I need noise to sleep.
I need pain to weep.
I need help to thrive.
Need goals to survive.

~~~G~~~

And every day the cloud returns
And every evening it burns
Inside of me, somewhere within
Protective layers way too thin
This ice-cold heat behind my chest
This omnipresent, dark request
That something really has to change
Before the darkness will derange
And silence me, release disease
The only way to bring me peace

~~~G~~~

Forbidden kisses

Forbidden touch of a perfect mouth
A bittersweet sensation
A slow intoxication
We mustn't keep it up

Your bare chest pressing against my own
In every way appealing
A long forgotten feeling
But this is where we stop

I cannot risk to kill what we are
By turning it to fire
Misguided by desire
That overrules all thought

~~~G~~~

I love you but I'm not in love
My feelings are just not enough
Or maybe they are way too strong
Cause why would loving you be wrong?
I care about you in a way
That's more than these three words can say
I love you, this I do admit
But romance isn't part of it

~~~G~~~

Things disappear, I don't know why
And still I'm here, and still I try
Where did they go? Why did they leave?
Out in the snow I'm left with grief
Here in the dark I do await
Another spark, a stroke of fate
A simple sign for me to know
Which way is mine, which path to go

~~~G~~~

The kiss of your wet lips
My favorite thing of all
Those hungry, gentle sips
This silent, greedy call
I kiss them without haste
With quiet, peaceful sighs
I love the way they taste
Those lips between your thighs

~~~G~~~

Your head rests on my arm
You're breathing on my chest
Your breath is warm and calm
I do what I do best

For thirty minutes now
We haven't said a word
And what is there to say?
No word we haven't heard

A kiss escapes your lips
Almost too small to feel
My hand moves through your hair
Not sure that you are real

For once I'm satisfied
No sex is on my mind
Your skin is pale and soft
Your eyes so deep and kind

I cannot see them now
You are so close to me
Some things I don't forget
Your eyes I'll always see

I kiss your head again
I almost feel at ease
You make me see a glimpse
Of happiness and peace

You know that I am torn
You know about my fight
But in my own screwed way
I kind of feel alright

Been drowning for too long
Have suffered through too much
Now all that soothes me are
Your love, your eyes, your touch

~~~G~~~

Whenever the darkness falls, it's tearing me down as well
Imprisoned within these walls that I can't remove or sell
The doors are not even locked – but where the hell can I go?
The worst part of being mocked is knowing I told me so

~~~G~~~

I'm staring at my screen
Not knowing what to write
The things I've felt and seen
Somehow they don't feel right

And once again I'm lost
So restless and so bored
This life comes at a cost
That cannot be ignored

~~~G~~~

I don't want to say good-bye
All that I can do is try
Pull you back from the abyss
Will I be enough for this?

I don't want my friend to go
Or to say "I told you so"
I can't let the waves of fear
Swallow you and leave us here

~~~G~~~

I wish the world to be a mirror
And to return the things I give
I want the good to make full circles
To let me feel the way I live

I wish that hope will give me courage
That kindness overcomes the greed
That my respect will be respected
That I'll receive the things I need

~~~G~~~

Still not feeling great
Hoping for a little luck
A lethargic state
I don't even want to fuck

~~~G~~~

Suicide is a plague
A huge but quiet one
So much is at stake
Most witnesses are gone

Suicide has been here
For many thousand years
It won't disappear
If no one interferes

~~~G~~~

I hate when you cut your arms and I can't prevent it
There's still some good in your life and I represent it
So show me these scars of yours and tell me their stories
I want to know everything, know all of your worries

~~~G~~~

Though you are more than strange
There's not a thing I'd change
Most cannot understand
You're perfect in the end

We will be doing fine
Your OCDs match mine
And it is understood
We both are damaged good

This world's a crazy place
So show your crazy face
Boring normality
Just seems insane to me

~~~G~~~

Guess I wanted to be wanted when I first undressed for you
Making me enjoy the moment is what you're supposed to do
Far from love or feeling special, this is just a substitute
But at least I'm not so lonely when I'm in my birthday suit

Each erection brings connection, every kiss brings company
It's such simple satisfaction when you don't belong to me
Linking bodies give me closeness of a rather shallow kind
But it comes in heavy doses, it's the only one I find

~~~G~~~

I know you'd pass me by
If we would ever meet
Cause everybody does
I know it's bound to happen

Somehow I'm never seen
If I declared defeat
No one would recognize
No crying and no clapping

Invisibility
My gift became my curse
And no one hears my screams
Why am I even trying?

No matter what I do
It's only getting worse
And I just fade away
Each day a bit of dying

~~~G~~~

Just ignore my screams
Tell me I don't mean it
That I like extremes
Worry way too much

I'm too negative
Should just take things easy
Should just start to live
Life's not bad as such

Thanks for your advice
Thanks for all that bullshit
You just close your eyes
From the ugliness

I'm not paranoid
You are simply shallow
You are just annoyed
By what I confess

In a way I hope
When one day I've vanished
You will see the scope
Of your ignorance

When it's way too late
You might understand that
Many once betrayed
Give no second chance

~~~G~~~

You called me your soulmate
I called you the same
Was new to this whole state
We reached when you came

I could finally see
Someone equal to me
In a heartbeat I knew
Things were special with you

With so much in common
You felt like a twin
So easy to summon
This peace from within

And you knew without words
What brings joy and what hurts
So much beauty had grown
Had they left us alone

They told you to hate me
Got into your head
Until you betrayed me
And gloom grew instead

And it's sad how they killed
Aspirations fulfilled
When we could be just fine
Your soul mating with mine

~~~G~~~

It's always strange
How people change
I see it all around me
So different when they found me
And now they're someone else

I've changed as well
But I can tell
My views, they haven't shifted
The real me hasn't drifted
I've always known myself

~~~G~~~

You make me hard again
I guess we'll start again
Come, touch my part again
Come, rip my heart again

~~~G~~~

I want to be small, or not be here at all
I want to be weak, 'cause it's comfort I seek
I want to be safe, feel protected, not brave

~~~G~~~

I'm hiding under my sheets today
I'm wishing things would just go away
Such things as darkness and cold and fear
I wish those things would just disappear
And people who only make me weep
And nights when I simply cannot sleep
And feelings that simply have no place
Behind an otherwise happy face

~~~G~~~

I look at the face on my shining screen
There's no other light in this lonely place
The pictures up there I've already seen
This beautiful body, not just the face

And while I imagine those tender lips
Exploring my body, without a map
I follow their path with my fingertips
My hand ending up somewhere in my lap

The images change with each simple click
Revealing some more of what we could do
Inspire my hand to give me this kick
They're making me come and it's just for you

~~~G~~~

Your clothes are gone, your look is curious
And in a way you make me furious
You found my bed and in a tempting pose
You're waiting there until I'm coming close

Your perfect shape, the perfect pale white skin
The innocence, the contradicting grin
Your well-shaved legs, and all the well-shaved rest
So juvenile, you know what I like best

You're simply still, you know you don't need words
And I give in because the longing hurts
So I get down, you open up your thighs
And meet my kiss with rhythmic, distant sighs

My tongue explores the softest part of you
Straight to the point, that's what you want me to
And while my hands are running up your waist
I'm taking in your wet, arousing taste

The time has come, my kiss gets more intense
You're getting close, it's something I can sense
Your hips rear up, a scream escapes your lung
And one last time I touch you with my tongue

You're still again, I hear your heart beat fast
I give you time to let this moment last
You look at me, you want me face to face
You want my breath to match your heart's fast pace

Your hand makes sure I'm ready for the ride
I'm welcome now, your legs are opened wide
You're hardly real, a painful, perfect dream
And I must say we are a perfect team

~~~G~~~

Inviting as the thought might be
I shouldn't take you home with me
I know you're asking for a night
Somehow it doesn't feel so right
Your body language says it all
You're not a fan of self-control
And usually I wouldn't mind
We both are of that naughty kind
And being strangers we could change
Tonight though, I am feeling strange
You're flirting rather openly
It's clear you want a piece of me
Your fingers playing with your hair
Your blouse is almost bursting there
The plunging neckline turns me on
A shining prize, so quickly won
And though my pants are getting tight
I shouldn't take you home tonight
I shouldn't fuck you in this room
That's brought so many women gloom
Although it clearly is your choice
I can't ignore my inner voice
As slutty as your skirt might be
Tonight I am a better me
Tonight I don't repeat mistakes
And have the self-control it takes
For once I will not make it true
Won't kiss you, squirt inside of you
Won't touch you, won't give in to lust
Tonight I will regain my trust

~~~G~~~

The lines you write torture me
There's no point in telling you
I must suffer silently
And hope you don't have a clue
Inside me there's nothingness
With maybe a hint of pain
Got used to it more or less
It's dangerous for the sane
And while you reveal your soul
A little too much perhaps
I fight not to lose control
Or else I would just collapse

~~~G~~~

I'd never want to turn back time
Events all have their reasons
The bad will bring another rhyme
Describing bitter seasons

I'd never want to do again
The things that I once went through
The good won't be as magical
The second time they come true

I'd never want to travel back
No matter where it's ending
How can I know another track
Would bring desired mending?

I might relive a day or two
But I could not go further
To kill defining memories
Is in the end still murder

~~~G~~~

An inviting mouth, opened wide for me
All it's asking for is a taste of me
So I rub myself, without haste, you see
While it's waiting there, still and gracefully

~~~G~~~

Now I give in, succumb to you
Lay down myself, surrender
I was my own defender
Now I'll do what you want me to

Because I fear if I stayed strong
You might not want to use me
Your pride could never choose me
So I will not bring mine along

I'm here, so feel me, try me now
I'm yours, and yours completely
I let your grace defeat me
Command me, love, and I will bow

~~~G~~~

So this is where we meet again!
At last our forces have to clash
Arch-enemies of equal wrath
We'll turn this town to piles of trash

You chose this battlefield and time
So this is where my hand shall bring
Destruction to your throat and neck
Once and for all proclaim me King

I see the hatred in your looks
Conviction, final like my own
This time just one will walk away
And finally ascend his throne

One last time we stand face to face
You taught me little all those years
It's not just me who's had enough
French lessons cause the devil tears

~~~G~~~

It's good to know I make you wet
I love how much aroused you get
I'll lick away a drop or two
Before I slide inside of you
And once I'm in, I take it slow
I like to which extremes you go
The sighs, the moaning, restless shrieks
The way you kiss my chin, my cheeks
My neck, my throat, my collarbone
Out of control you gasp and groan
And when I bite your lips, it's done
I squirt, you scream and share my fun

~~~G~~~

"You're perfect", she said. I know that she meant it.
I couldn't respond. It touched me inside.
I'm perfect to her. I don't understand it.
How thankful I am, I don't want to hide.

~~~G~~~

I say, "Come here"
I hold you tight
And tears appear
I thought they might

I stroke your hair
I kiss your head
You know I care
You make me sad

A long long night
Intense, surreal
Can't make things right
But help you deal

Your pain goes deep
But no one knows
You fall asleep
I hold you close

~~~G~~~

You've come to me, two little lights
You shine on all I own now
All of my wrongs turned into rights
I'll never be alone now

And it was hell that formed your core
An act without consensus
I can't remember anymore
My brain built up defenses

He put the light inside of me
And it was cold and heartless
He left me shaking helplessly
And there was only darkness

And it took time and I was scared
I didn't understand it
When your existance was declared
I lacked what was demanded

So horrified and so confused
And trying to envision
That good could come from the abused
I made the right decision

You've come to me, two little lights
The brightest stars around me
The most endearing, precious sights
I'm grateful that you found me

~~~G~~~

I'm strong all day, I make decisions, I'm hard, I'm tough, head of divisions
I'm in control, no hesitation, I manage every situation
Now I'm at home, left work behind me, now she alone can hold and bind me
She can command my naked torso, my naked psyche even more so
Can take away the endless pressure of leadership and make me fresher
And with her whip she cleans my mind out, I can't keep secrets – she would find out
A simple therapy of hurting, of lust and pain, of trust and flirting
No one I know has ever kissed as uncompromising as my mistress
And nothing else ignites my dreaming like seeing her while I am screaming
And letting her completely own me, the only one who's ever known me

~~~G~~~

The longing in your look, it's not for flesh or fun
You see who I'm within, you get me
With all the time it took and being on the run
If I asked for your skin, you'd let me

This time it's not the same, I care about your heart
Can't use your naked shell for pleasure
Won't play another game, won't play the same old part
You don't deserve this hell, my treasure

~~~G~~~

Another evening alone, only with you when on the phone
My sheets too cold without you here, the memories of you so clear
While standing on the balcony, can't help but wonder if you see
The same big moon and blinking star, the same wide sky from where you are
The nights are chilly now in fall, with you I didn't freeze at all
One look at my calender shows that while the frosty fall breeze blows
The day comes closer when you're back and give me all the warmth I lack

~~~G~~~

Right now I really want to die
No matter how much more I try
Things never change, they simply don't
You'll cry over my death, I won't

~~~G~~~

I'm disconnected, out of sync, I'm swaying, swirling, tripping
Out in the cold I'm stripping
And ripping things apart

The darkness forms an undertow, surrounds me, makes me dizzy
I'm trying to stay busy
But this is no good start

~~~G~~~

Split during day, we're one again
As much united as we can
Lulled by the darkness, minds on hold
We let what's truly us unfold
We are the fingers, are the touch
Make up what can't exist as such
The soaring sighs, so high above
We're making sweetness, making love

~~~G~~~

You never betrayed me, so I know I'll heal
We both have to deal with the way that we feel
Right now it is hard but last month was much worse
The bond that we have is a blessing and curse

From lovers to friends is a strange way to go
And if we'll succeed, there's no way we can know
But I have a feeling that we'll be okay
So far I do not want to push you away

It might take new love for your heart and for mine
It might take distraction before we'll be fine
It might take some distance and awkward pretense
But if it's our fate then we will remain friends

~~~G~~~

I hear from you once in a while
See pictures of your foreign smile
Or of your lovely, well-shaped rear
They make me wish that you were here
That I could hug you for a night
That both of us could feel alright
If there'd be more, I cannot know
I keep my expectations low
What matters is that you're alright
I know you struggle, know you fight
It's sometimes less and sometimes more
Your job's hard work, your guy a bore
But yet you manage to get by
Things slowly change because you try
I wish that I could help somehow
But honestly, I don't know how
Please know that I am always here
For you, not just your well-shaped rear

~~~G~~~

How can you proof that it really is you I see?
How can I know that you are for real?
How can I know if you are who you claim to be?
Is it the truth or just lies I feel?

Nowadays masks sometimes stick like a second skin
Until we start to believe they're true
How can I know that you were where you said you'd been?
How can I tell you are really you?

~~~G~~~

It started out as simple fun
All clothes removed and bodies spun
A friendship with a certain twist
We just enjoyed the way we kissed

And now I see it in your smile
I think it's been there for a while
We touched each other in the core
What was just playing now is more

~~~G~~~

Mmh, I love the way you taste
Those inviting holes of yours
I enjoy you without haste
Without compromise or force

I'm so used to how you smell
How you make me feel at ease
How you meet my needs so well
How you melt for me, oh cheese

~~~G~~~

So strange to see these rooms again and know that you don't live here now.
Each corner full of memories, so blurry, yet so clear somehow.
Your furniture and stuff has gone, the rooms seem twice the size they were.
I fight the painful flashbacks down, one after one as they occur.
Don't know what brought me to this place. I have no business in this town.
This domicile can't be my home. I'll buy it, then I'll burn it down

~~~G~~~

It grows inside you
A strange little life
Protect it with all that you've got

Whatever you do
You have to survive
Who cares if you planned this or not?

Be strong and be tall
You don't have a choice
It's not about you anymore

When you hear its call
You give it a voice
This is what you're now living for

~~~G~~~

Welcome back, my love, we've missed you!
It was lonely with you gone
Glad the skin on both your wrists grew
Glad you're back to carry on

~~~G~~~

While tasting your melons, I'm stroking your spring
Fresh water keeps cooling my fingers and ring
The thought of a bath makes me exult and grin
I'd love to explore these wet caves from within

~~~G~~~

The way you dance for me
The flashlights touching you
A moving shadow that
Attracts my eyes all night

The way your body's shaped
The gestures that you do
And how your skin reflects
The blinking disco light

I'm hooked, I'm paralyzed
I wish that I could dance
And after all this time
You make me feel again

I'm sitting in the dark
It's almost like in trance
If there is any chance
Show me that I'm a man

~~~G~~~

My doubts and my worries, my sorrows and fears, my heartaches and tears – hug them away.
My stress and my hurries, my tensions and pain, awareness and brain – fuck them away.

~~~G~~~

You do your best to get undressed
By me – but babe, you blew it
I'm sorry, I won't do it

Whatever light you keep inside
Too scared and shy to voice it
The stench of smoke destroys it

~~~G~~~

Goddammit, I'll love you with sex or without
As friend, parent, partner or lover!
No matter which love all your craving's about
Each one of those fields I will cover!

Just fuck it, whatever you hope for or need
Whatever your demon, I'll kill it
Cause I can be equal, support you or lead
Just name your void spot and I'll fill it

~~~G~~~

It stings when you say that you fucked someone else
Each time, and I know that it shouldn't
I dream of your hair and the way that it smells
It's torture, but frankly, who wouldn't?

I daydream my fingers between your hot thighs
And practice our kisses with pillows
I see us both walking beneath orange skies
And sit in the grass under willows

These things will not happen, I know it quite well
I'm not one that you have an eye on
Cause after you screwed them, got hurt, slipped and fell
You'll need someone you can rely on

~~~G~~~

Looking for something to fill up the void
Stinging inside like a splinter
Sometimes the colder things must be enjoyed
Ice cream is rare during winter

~~~G~~~

Wearing a trace of nothing, dancing all for me
Locked behind iron bars but seeming wild and free
Looking at me with eyes that burn you from inside
Raising the expectations, this will be some ride!

~~~G~~~

So close to tears and so alone
Trying so badly to postpone
The breakdown that will have to follow
When someone feels so dry and hollow

~~~G~~~

I stopped watching TV
It's too stupid for me
Those reality shows
All those machos and hoes
Same old bullshit all day
And when something's okay
They destroy it with breaks
I don't have what it takes
To endure all this shit
So I got rid of it
Only watch DVDs
And before the release
Online streams are my friends
That's where this chapter ends

~~~G~~~

They play in the garden, those plants that we grew
Brought up from the seeds that came from me and you
They're chasing each other, all laughter and play
Why were we so worried? They turned out okay

They savor the sunshine, they flourish and grow
What they will grow into, we can't really know
We sit by the window, we watch them outside
We watch them so filled up with love and with pride

~~~G~~~

A little dizzy from lack of sleep
I feel you going in so deep
Your naked body, it feels so soft
My brain is soaring high, aloft
Slow tender motion, no need to rush
It's dark, so you can't see me blush
I'd still see nothing if there was light
I only live for you inside
Inside my body, inside my mind
I'm so fulfilled, so high, so blind
Between the mattress and your soft skin
The air is getting hot and thin
And I just know though I cannot see
Your eyes are looking straight at me

~~~G~~~

We're in a hurry 'cause they might find us
We quickly close the closet door
My vision's blurry, our secrets bind us
We open zippers, bras and more

Aroused but quiet, straight down to business
We are such rebels in the dark
No open riot; our hot wet kisses
Can never leave an open mark

With your quick tongue stroke you make me harden
Your wet embrace starts new extremes
None of us two spoke a word of pardon
They'll never know our swallowed screams

~~~G~~~

And so it crumbles, frozen again. Torn into pieces, shattered.
I built my future, now it is past. All that has ever mattered.
Went one full circle, same spot again. New journey in the making.
And I will suffer 'till comeone comes who can replace my aching.

~~~G~~~

There is so much that I like when I think about you
Could write a very long list of the things that we do
I wouldn't know where to start, there's too much I have seen
So here are some random points, from somewhere in between:

I like the way that your hair hides your beautiful neck
I like the warmth of your lips when they slide down my back
I like the weight of your breasts on my hand and my face
I like the way that your grin never feels out of place

I like your beautiful mind, it's so dirty and bright
I like the way that you win each discussion or fight
I like how you make me feel, good like never before
No, I could not write this list, there is yet so much more

~~~G~~~

She said there'd be no sex tonight, yet here she lies again
All naked on my messy bed, this life feels so insane
She said she wasn't one of those, and yet I made her fall
She's not the first to change her mind, won't be the last at all

I skip the whole damn dating game, I don't do candle light
I keep it simple, food and fun, a lazy movie night
What made her think this wouldn't end with condoms, sweat and screams?
The simple things in life so often lead us to extremes

She's tired now, I watch her sleep and add her to my list
Another one who didn't think this night'd come with a twist
And she's so pretty when she sleeps, so beautiful, off guard
Who'd think a face this soft could suck a part of me so hard?

~~~G~~~

I've kissed lips that tasted like sorrow
And others that tasted like life
Some made me feel there's no tomorrow
And some only made me arrive

I've kissed lips that tasted like freedom
And others were burnt by their cage
Some youthful, not easy to read 'em
And others cemented by age

I've kissed lips that made me feel dizzy
Or left me with craving and thirst
Some rather reluctant and busy
Each pair in their way was a first

~~~G~~~

You're flat on your stomach and I am on top
You ask me to move in and never to stop
You still wear your panties, I move them aside
You welcome me warmly, so wet and so wide

We find a shared rhythm, we synchronize breath
You're clutching your pillow, one first little death
And I just keep moving, I love how you flinch
Toward more pillow-clutching, toward joy inch by inch

~~~G~~~

A kiss on your leg and a kiss on your nose
You're laughing but at the same time you come close
I cracked your defense, it's not easily done
Cause usually this is the point where you run

A kiss on the hand and a kiss on the chin
I'm not even trying to hide my big grin
I told you I'm naughty, by now you should see
Where others gave up, it's just foreplay for me

~~~G~~~

I want to be pretty and sexy for you
I want to be someone you want to see naked
I want to be someone you care about too
I want to be sure that you not only fake it

I want to be there for you when you're in need
But I also want to be there when you're happy
To share with you boredom and passion and heat
I want to do all of these things if you let me

~~~G~~~

She's so arrogant all day, always right and never cute
So at night I make her pay, now she's groveling and mute
She is usually in charge, she is bossy all day long
Now she's kneeling by my feet, wearing nothing but a thong
And I punish her tonight for each bitter word she said
And she looks me in the eye, willingly and not afraid
I can make her use her hands, suck and swallow, cry and bleed
She is making her amends, no control, completely freed
All the things I really want, I can only get this way
When I order late at night, what's forbidden during day
I can make her kiss my lips, touch my face to tenderly
I can make her fake the love she will never feel for me

~~~G~~~

Come, dark angel, rest with me
Spread your wings and spread your legs
Sway with me so playfully
Stay with me and pay with sex

Come, dark angel, fly with me
Just pretend to understand
Take my hand and lie to me
Let me see the promised land

~~~G~~~

Oh, I like it when you're freezing, like to rub your feet with mine
You don't want to make me me shiver but the truth is I'm just fine
How I like it when we're spooning, like your back against my chest
Like your hair against my shoulder and my hand against your breast

Then we listen to some music in the orange candle light
Once I notice you are sleeping, I just kiss your neck good-night
It's those moments without talking that I do remember best
How you made me feel so happy, how you put my pain to rest

~~~G~~~

It's so lonely in this bed now one inhabitant is gone
It's so cold under my blanket, so much time until the dawn
It's no good telling myself that I'll be sleeping anyway
I'll be wide awake tonight 'cause I've already dreamt all day

~~~G~~~

My love, it's time to say good-bye now
Please don't you cry now
Don't ask me why now, it's over

You thought that this would last forever
You're not so clever
Never say never, it's over

~~~G~~~

Such beautiful eyes almost masked by your veil
This sensual look, almost telling a tale
I don't see your face but there's grace all the same
A spirit so strong no silk fabric could tame

~~~G~~~

You're wearing my T-shirt, and that's about it
It's making me restless, I have to admit
I still have to work, babe, but I guess somehow
That I can postpone that and take you right now

~~~G~~~

Oh look, there's a coin on the road - that's good luck!
Let's stop for a second and pick that thing up
My nails are too short and this shit is so flat
I'll leave it behind for the next guy instead

~~~G~~~

Sometimes I just so want to kiss you and more
Destroy everything you've been begging me for
Risk friendship and trust just to know how it feels
To taste you, to please you, from head down to heels

Sometimes I just want to get rid of your clothes
And know you completely, stuff nobody knows
I know that you're thinking the same thing sometimes
That's why it would not be the worst of my crimes

But after the night things would not be the same
I don't want to lose this strong friendship we claim
I know you're not able to deal with such things
The hope and the pain and the heartache it brings

Incredibly sexy and tempting to me
You're one person with whom I can never be
You need me, my friendship, someone you can trust
And that's more important than moments of lust

~~~G~~~

There's more to come, there always is
Don't care what got you into this
It's not the end, it's just a stop
You aren't drained, it's just a drop

~~~G~~~

Your eyes are not open, your lips almost smile
Been watching you sleep in my bed for a while
Your bare breasts are moving, your breath is so slow
Of what you are dreaming, I will never know
I still taste your body on both of my lips
Igniting the heartbeat that my body skips
Your fingers and mine only inches apart
I'm longing to touch them but dare not to start
I don't know for sure when I knew I was hooked
It must have been more than how perfect you looked
It must have been more than your breathtaking words
And knowing that you understand how it hurts
It must have been more than the stars that I saw
When we were united from hip until jaw
It must have been something that's always been there
And ready to finally surface somewhere
It's more than those pieces, it's all that you are
That makes these few inches feel almost too far
Been watching you sleep by my side all night long
At no point before has my love felt so strong

~~~G~~~

You were so damn cocky, your nose up so high
I know that I liked you but I don't know why
It's not just that you were amazing in bed
One of my top two hottest I've ever had
We ate, we watched movies, I stayed at your place
I guess I was smitten, but love? Not a trace
We knew we had nothing and you'd kick me out
To be in your heart I was never allowed
But somehow I wonder if in your own way
You liked me too much to allow me to stay
And maybe, just maybe it hurt you to know
That I still had others and I told you so
You did not tell people how often we met
We parted in anger, and that I regret
You tasted amazing, you screamed so damn nice
The cute things you told me were probably lies
But since you were painfully honest with me
And stubborn and very quick to disagree
I guess there's a chance that you meant what you said
That I was the best guy that you've ever had

~~~G~~~

Some women like me, I knew you're one of those
Wet like a fountain before I'm even close
Almost too easy, you breathe so heavily
I kiss your throat and you melt away for me
The first explosion before my part is freed
It seems to me that you're very much in need
I'm not complaining, I love the way you moan
Already liked it that first time through the phone
Today you're causing some sweat stains on my wall
And then I fuck you with no restraint at all
You scratch my shoulders as you explode again
The way you're shaking, must say that I'm a fan
So let's move forward and take this to the couch
Where I'll by lying prepared for you to crouch
And let's be honest: We're really good at this
You come again and your scream dies in a kiss

~~~G~~~

Don't have to turn but I feel it, it's around me again
It's been with me for a decade, everywhere that I ran
The pitch black jaws of the darkness, they will swallow me whole
And once again they'll digest me, and they'll rupture my soul
I feel it lurking and waiting, almost ready to merge
To become one and abuse me, push me over the verge
Then one small thing creates ripples it has brought me before
I feel your hand on my shoulder and the dark is no more

~~~G~~~

To watch you kiss another one
It makes me want to die each time
I can't believe you're no more mine
Can't point at what the hell went wrong

I know you don't believe my pain
Or just ignore it if you do
Goddammit, what is wrong with you?
You ass, I love you all the same

~~~G~~~

We used to stay up every night and skype until we fell asleep
We couldn't work but still we tried because back then our love was deep
You were the first thing on my mind, I thought about you all day long
Affection of that painful kind, we didn't care that it was wrong
And now that months have come and gone, I hardly know you anymore
The hours that we lost and won remind me what I loved you for

~~~G~~~

He's gone now, babe, he's gone for good
We never really understood
What mystery you saw in him
He was so shallow, cheap and dim
I know it hurts, but that's okay
A better guy will come your way
A prince without the concubines
Who won't be crossing all your lines
Who won't be leaving you alone
Who'll share his heart and share this throne

~~~G~~~

Come, lie with me
Scare off my demons
Kiss them away
Tell me you'll stay

Come, hold my hand
And understand me
Don't leave my side
Say it's alright

Come, kiss my face
Love and embrace me
Be my defense
Give my life sense

Come, smile at me
Tell me I'm perfect
Make me believe
Help me to breathe

~~~G~~~

I thought that you would have brown hair but now it's green instead
I thought it would be nice and long but you shaved half your head
I thought you'd go for natural, you pierced your lip and nose
Unlike my structured, tidy self you're wearing ripped old clothes

I thought you'd be much different, but who am I to judge?
In all those years I was alone, I missed you so damn much
You understand me perfectly, you read me like a blog
And I can't get enough of seeing you around the clock

I think it's fair to say that you are naughty just like me
You're also funny, clever, nice and cute, surprisingly
You're different than I dreamed you'd be but perfect all the same
I'll share with you my life, my heart, my bed, my food, my name

~~~G~~~

The sex was good when it was new
Now every day's the same with you
We hardly joke now, hardly talk
We're silent when we take a walk

Don't know what happened down the road
We used to burn and to explode
We used to act and think as one
But now it seems our time has gone

~~~G~~~

She sold her body in the nude
To pay the rent and pay for food
She chose her clients carefully
And she was always there for me
Whatever happened Friday night
On Saturday, I'd feel alright
When she returned to me and stayed
And I was calm and not afraid
For six more days life tasted good
Then she went out and earned more food

~~~G~~~

If you were my love, I would hug you all night
So gently and tight, it only feels right
If you owned my heart, I'd touch more than your breast
Kiss more than your chest, be more than my best
If you were with me, we'd exchange more than sweat
Share more than a bed, but that being said
You know we're just friends 'cause I don't feel the spark
We'll stay in the dark, like whores in the park

~~~G~~~

Let go of the pain in your past that you cling to
Let go, take a leap and I'll catch you

Move on, you don't know what the future will bring you
This train toward your joy, it will fetch you

I can't make a promise about what will happen
I'm not saying that I can guide you

I'm saying whatever new shit you'll get trapped in
You'll find me right here next beside you

~~~G~~~

Don't give up, my friend, don't you dare!
Stop this shit, you know that I care!
This new cut you won't justify
With this common, self-righteous lie!
Don't you dare to think and to claim
If you died, it'd be all the same

~~~G~~~

You're wet and warm around me
So soft and yet so tight
You comfort and you taunt me
Intense but just alright

You touch me where I need it
We are a perfect fit
All of my dreams exceeded
I never want to quit

It started when you kissed me
It ends with so much more
I'm glad you don't resist me
And let me touch your core

~~~G~~~

The days go by and I, I wonder what is keeping you
My life goes on, the one who knows who I'm referring to
Seems occupied, I tried to get my message out somehow
But all the same, your name is still a mystery for now

~~~G~~~

I never expect things when it comes to you
I'd be disappointed, it's sad but it's true
You tell me you'll meet me when you're on the phone
But most of the time we will have to postpone
You're killing my trust and you're killing my nerves
One always ends up with the friends one deserves

~~~G~~~

You're beautiful, I mean it
Don't hide your face, I've seen it
There's so much to admire
It's true, don't call me liar

I know your mirror tells you
A different thing than I do
Because your eyes are clouded
Oh yes, I know about it

I know, your mirror's lying
Your judgement skills are dying
But I can see it clearly
I want your cute face near me

~~~G~~~

It's a lazy Tuesday night
I am eating while you read
You're not focused, that's alright
My mind wanders as I eat

I remember how we met
While I lick your lady juice
Next time you are in my bed
Could you please take off your shoes?

~~~G~~~

You want love and protection
You just want to feel safe
Feel this inner connection
Feel at home in your cave

You want intimate contact
The emotional kind
That will have a huge impact
On your heart and your mind

~~~G~~~

The moment I kissed you, I knew I was lost
Chose not to resist you, and this is the cost
I know that you know me, my secrets, my flaws
The heaven you show me by touching my jaws
I do understand now, my head was so blind
Did not comprehend how you're one of a kind

~~~G~~~

Why would they sabotage your love?
You're wonderful and so is she
I've known you since you were a girl
You've always been a friend to me

Why would they care about your life?
It's really none of their concern
I've seen the passion in your looks
Please keep it up, please let it burn

Why would they tell you what to do?
Why criticize your perfect fit?
She's such a friendly lady too
Why would they treat you both like shit?

~~~G~~~

I could lure you into my bed
You'd be such an easy victim
You're so insecure and so sad
You need someone to believe in

I could make you one on my list
And be just another asshole
Soon forget the way that you kissed
While you suffer someplace else

~~~G~~~

I tried to give you my support, I tried to help you with your dreams
But you presented them as mine, as my own twisted, selfish schemes
I tried to make you see your strength, I tried to show you what you're worth
Instead of thanking me, you left and celebrated your rebirth

I saw how wonderful you were and all the things that you could do
Although I tried to make you see, somehow I never quite got through
Among so many other things, we had the most amazing sex
It never got so good again in all those years I call you ex

I could have helped your fucked-up clan, I could have been a friend to them
Instead they made me feel like shit and left me with a lot of blame
It's been a while and I'm okay, those memories, they seem so far
Sometimes I wonder, anyway, if you've discovered who you are

~~~G~~~

I guess if you told our story, it would not sound like mine
And you would not give much credit to when we did just fine
I guess that I'd be the villain who did never want peace
Never in love, never trying while your pain would increase

I guess from your sad perspective I'd be heartless and cold
That's not my side of the story, too cut down to be told
I guess that you'll never see how I gave all I could give
It's not enough if one person doesn't know how to live

~~~G~~~

I'm not your ex, I'm not your shrink
Won't steal your sex, won't let you sink
I'm no fake friend, I'm not your dad
Here, take my hand when you are sad
You're not alone, now we are two
Please dare to phone, I'm here for you

~~~G~~~

You drained me till you had enough
A borrowed friendship, borrowed love
And yet I gave because I knew
That I alone could rescue you
I figured it would turn to dust
I never gave you all my trust
But gave you all my time and care
Because I'm always self-aware
I knew that I could take the pain
Strong memories, they will remain

~~~G~~~

Detesting yourself will not get you far
You better embrace whoever you are
One small thing or two can surely be changed
What you're at the core won't be rearranged
Make peace with your flaws, they're often okay
If others don't care, why wish them away?
The truth is, my friend, you'll never be best
There'll always be some ahead of the rest
But you can be real and you can be true
And beat everyone at being just you

~~~G~~~

You're not just cute, you're nerdy
Not only hot but flirty
You quote the shows I'm watching
And that sure is a hot thing
You wear those geeky glasses
And not one minute passes
When I'm not stunned and grinning
My clever head is spinning
Your heart is so affecting
Your bra size so distracting
It's like I met my equal
This meeting's worth a sequel

~~~G~~~

I think you're cute, though insecure
Your self-esteem is rather poor
Your flirting skills, however, work
And I'm not one to wait and lurk
So if you want it, bring it on
My interest's already won
I want to know the way you taste
Want you to ride me, fill your waist
Want to explore the chemistry
Between the naked you and me
Between our hands and lips and legs
Between seduction, trust and sex

~~~G~~~

Once in a while, I want your taste
Your passion shouldn't go to waste
The way you melt beneath my kiss
It's this obsession that I miss
Two times my age, you've seen a lot
Yet only few can make you hot
I make you burn and feel so young
With gentle pressure of my tongue
I crave the way your nipples taste
How you undress me without haste
I make you come and scream and bleed
Once in a while, that's what I need

~~~G~~~

I don't wanna be above you, so you have to be quite bright
Must be madness not to love you, not to want you day and night
I don't want to be below you, want to know that I'm enough
There are things I want to show you, you should also show me stuff
I want both of us to want it, and to never wonder why
Where there's trouble, we confront it, we should see things eye to eye

~~~G~~~

Don't be scared of the dark, don't be scared of the night
Things can feel twice as real when not touched by the light
Put your head on your hands, put your hands on my chest
Breathe my scent in and out, let me bring you to rest
Just let down your defense, you're allowed now to sleep
In the warmth of my hands rest the secrets we keep
I'll make up for the years when you lay here alone
So messed up and so lost, crying into your phone
I'll make up for the time you spent until we met
I will take it from here, there will be no regret

~~~G~~~

He's destroying you and he doesn't know
Cause the truth is you never told him so
He's destroying you in so many ways
And you cry and crawl through your empty days
It's just sex for him, he does not pretend
For you it's much more, poison in the end
It is not his fault, neither is it yours
You are driven by some dark inner force
It's destroying you, far beyond repair
And you hate yourself
And it isn't fair

~~~G~~~

She breaks every day, a routine in a way
At nighttime she sobs, pillows hiding the drops
Puts blades through her flesh when the pain is still fresh
Then hides it from us, wearing gloves on the bus
And hoping that we are too busy to see
But deep down inside she can no longer hide
She hopes in a way that someone will someday
Discover her pain but won't call her insane
Will listen and care, not judge and not stare
She wants to confide but also to hide
How could she confess that she's such a mess?

~~~G~~~

It's quite clear I'm not an angel
I have screwed around a lot
I've seduced, confused and conquered
Seized the chances that I got

No, I haven't been with hundreds
But it's been much more than one
When I see something worth wanting
I'm not subtle, bring it on

We all know I'm dirty-minded
Yes, I do go for the kill
But I've never been unfaithful
I don't think I ever will

~~~G~~~

I like your fingers in my hair
Your scent that lingers in the air
The stuff you text me when you're bored
How could these things not be adored?

~~~G~~~

So tough on the outside but bleeding within
You don't want to show them the places you've been
So hurt and so jealous and so insecure
Your grin's not so honest, your strength not so pure
And while you betray them and act like a jerk
You doubt that your smile or your lies really work
You don't think you're pretty though clearly you are
You're better than what you're portraying by far

~~~G~~~

Look at this smile, is it still fake?
It's been a while, where is the ache?
Do you pretend or did perhaps
Now in the end the pain collapse?

Look at your face, what do you feel?
The fog, the daze, is it still real?
Or did they leave and you're confused
That underneath you're not abused?

~~~G~~~

You're real with me
I'm true with you
You let me see your darker side

The one that shows
When we're alone
That no one knows, the one you hide

When I'm in you
I don't wear masks
I only do for stress release

The only thing
I wear at all
Is one gold ring and latex sheath

~~~G~~~

Saw a strange girl crying on the train
From the distance I could feel her pain
Tried to reach her but she walked away
Saw a strange girl on the train today

~~~G~~~

Isn't it sad? We all want to be skinny.
Isn't it sad? We all want to be them.
And this is not just a topic for women.
It's just the same kind of pressure for men.

Isn't it dumb? Nothing's wrong with our bodies.
They're just as cute or as sexy as theirs.
Why is it bad if you're softer than mud is?
Please be asured that not everyone cares.

Isn't it sick how we aim for perfection?
Isn't it sick how we crave what we're not?
Not only slim people bring satisfaction.
Don't be ashamed. Please embrace what you've got.

~~~G~~~

It's not like I planned it but I recommend it
We start with a kiss, it's all fun and bliss
You say "Careful, Mister!" and look at your sister
All three of us grin, then you take me in
It's nice to share passion in this carefree fashion
You're both really cute in your birthday suit

~~~G~~~

I kiss your neck
I feel you melt
Exactly as predicted

I touch your back
Remove your belt
Your pants are not restricted

You turn around
You press your hips
Against me close like grout

And to the sound
Of touching lips
The world is fading out

~~~G~~~

We've done it all before
We've done it from behind
Aggressive like at war
And peace is what we find
We've done it soft and rough
This stuff is what we do
Well-planned or off-the-cuff
It's always good with you

~~~G~~~

You open your wrists when the pressure gets too much.
You open your legs though you don't enjoy the touch.
You open your mouth but it's not as if they cared.
To open your heart you are way too hurt and scared.

~~~G~~~

Show us where you're aching
Show us what went wrong
Why you hide in daydreams
Why your days feel long

Show us where your scars are
How they came to be
Nights are close but stars far
It's the same for me

Show us all the small things
That can make you break
None of us have tall wings
Crashing is the stake

Give us all the bad truths
Sharp enough to kill
So that we can stab you
But we never will

We all want to make it
We all want to dance
Only when we're naked
Do we stand a chance

~~~G~~~

Whatever you're in, we're in it together
Life only makes sense if we stick to this deal
When lost in the storm, let's float like a feather
It's only as warm or cold as we feel

Whatever I'm in, I want you beside me
I know I can do most things on my own
I want you to walk with me, not to guide me
To show me that I am never alone

Whatever life brings, let's face it with four eyes
Two faces against the odds and the rest
You'll see things through mine, and I'll see through your eyes
And we both will do whatever seems best

Whatever the cost, I won't stand against you
Small problems or large, I'll fight by your side
I'll tell you you're wrong and stop you like friends do
But never when there are others in sight

Whatever you're in, we're in it together
This one simple rule we must never bend
In sunshine and rain, whatever the weather
Through good and through bad, a team to the end

~~~G~~~

Why is this kiss everything that remains?
Couldn't you leave more behind?
All of the things it describes and explains
Shattered and nowhere to find

Couldn't you leave out the kiss and just go?
You know it's burning my heart
How can my heart be expected to know
Why our lips are apart

~~~G~~~

Ist dieser Kuss wirklich alles was bleibt?
Mehr lässt du mir nicht zurück?
All das was er so präzise beschreibt
Bleibt nur als Scherbe, als Stück

Konntest du nicht ohne Kuss einfach geh'n?
Du weißt, wie er mich verbrennt
Wie soll mein Herz diese Leere versteh'n
Die uns're Lippen nun trennt?

~~~G~~~

Your eyes, they show this bitter tone
My heart, it turns to stone
I start to suffocate

And from your look I understand
Our us, it had to end
It's already too late

Never again will you be mine
You've turned and crossed the line
It's just your back I see

The autumn wind gives me a chill
Although I hardly feel
And now there's only me

~~~G~~~

Du siehst mich an auf diese Art
Mein Herz wird plötzlich hart
Das Atmen fällt mir schwer

Und ich erkenn an deinem Blick
Von hier gibt's kein Zurück
Wir beide sind nicht mehr

Und ich verstehe, wenn du gehst
Den Rücken zu mir drehst
Du wirst nie wieder mein

Der Herbstwind streift mich und ich frier
Obwohl ich ihn kaum spür
Ab heut bin ich allein

~~~G~~~

Nom nom nom
You taste so fine
Nom nom nom
I'm glad you're mine
Nom nom nom
I cannot stop
Licking till the final drop

~~~G~~~

Don't tear me down with you, I've resurrected
I've gained more strength than some of you expected
Don't take my hand and lead me into darkness
I'm no longer prepared to wear the dark dress
If you can't follow me to where the sun is
I'll have to walk this way with other honeys
I'd love you to stay close but if you can't be
I'll find someone who tries to understand me

~~~G~~~

I won't hold on to you because of fear
I won't stay 'till I'm hardly really here
Don't think I'll stick around because I'm lazy
Don't think I'll smile although you drive me crazy

I won't waste time with you when it feels wrong
I only need the kind of love that's strong
Don't think I'll promise things when I don't mean them
Just read my lines and not the stuff between them

I want us to be real until the end
I want to call you lover, wife and friend
I don't just want to see how things are going
I want the kind of love that's only growing

Commitment never scared me, never will
In closeness there can be no overkill
I want the kind of trust that can't be broken
That stays against the storm without a token

I will hold on to you because you're great
Because I do believe in love and fate
And I will stick around because you're worth it
Because I know that both of us deserve it

~~~G~~~

We have named our fears
We have listed our dears
Have debated disgust
Worries, hatred and lust
We've agreed on our plans
And have stated our bans
We've discussed our luck
I think now we can fuck

~~~G~~~

Pressing you against the wall
I want you to feel
All the way or not at all
That's my only deal
Covering your mouth with mine
Knee between your thighs
Giving you the perfect sign
Pressure, passion, sighs
You did not expect my hands
But you don't ask why
When they slip inside your pants
I feel you comply
No more words I have for you
But we will connect
On a level pure and true
Slick, hot and erect
Bites and scratches, they will tell
In a vivid tone
One night in this life of hell
You were not alone

~~~G~~~

I hear "I love you" quite a lot
From all those awesome friends I've got
And I'm so grateful that I do
But once it could have come from you

~~~G~~~

I have a gift that's rather rare:
Most people can confide in me
They tell me things nobody knows
Of very private quality

Another gift I call my own:
I'm usually quite good at sex
Good with my mouth, my hands, my dick
I usually make girls relax

~~~G~~~

I'm sorry you're gone
Is it a lonely way?
I'm sorry we failed
We couldn't make you stay

I'm sorry the pain
Was more than we could see
I'm sorry that you
Decided not to be

I'm sorry for us
For we will have to deal v With change and with loss
Now we will have to feel

Not sorry for you
I hope you're doing fine
And you'll always stay
Within this heart of mine

~~~G~~~

You starred in my dreams long before I had seen your face
And somehow it seems we were counting those endless days
You woke within me what had slept for so many years
What I couldn't see through the curtain of all those tears

You're perfect. To me. To us. You're everything.

We talked in my head long before we had ever met
The fun that we had long before you were in my bed
I knew this was true within less than a single day
And I'll stay with you, doesn't matter what others say

It's perfect. To me. To us. It's everything.

And there will be days when it's hard to stay side by side
But we will find ways to adapt, to win every fight
We've both fought before and we both know what we can do
And we're so much more when combined than just me or you

We're perfect. No more. No less. We're everything.

~~~G~~~

I'm not down on the bottom, do not worry, I will rise
But it's also been years since I was up there in the skies
I'm not smashed, I'm just troubled, I'm not aweful, just okay
There's no doubt that I will make it through this unexciting day

~~~G~~~

I think you're beautiful.
Inside and out.
In case nobody does,
I'll say it loud.

You're caring and you're nice.
Your love seems pure.
It's such a shame that you're
So insecure.

I think you're beautiful.
Outside and in.
And your soft lips inspire
The thought of sin.

~~~G~~~

She's scared of commitment
She needs to be free
She can't see shared freedom
The way that I see

She's scared by the thought of
Things getting too real
She'd rather not worry
And rather not feel

That's why she's retreating
That's why she's not here
Avoiding the heartache
Avoiding the fear

That's why she is single
And playing around
She's scared of commitment
And of being bound

~~~G~~~

I know he's addicted
I know he's a dick
He may be conflicted
But he's also thick
And I will not tell you
What both of us know:
You're going through hell, so
This guy has to go

~~~G~~~

Kissing so many pairs of lips
Touching so many naked hips
Spending nights in so many beds
Driving home from so many flats

Telling the same thing so many times
Sharing my heart in so many rhymes
Hiding my dick between many legs
Way too much flirting and too much sex

Too much of things that I like a lot
Too many breasts that can make me hot
Too many truths way too often told
Scared that this bed might become too cold

~~~G~~~

Within this late-night hour, you raise my Eiffel tower
I'll make you wet like Venice and let you feel my power
Geography is boring, so we play bee and flower
And when the lesson's over, we both should take a shower

~~~G~~~

The right one will see you
Between all the rest
You just have to be you
And you'll pass the test

The right one will know you
In no time at all
Each secret they'll show you
The big and the small

The right one will say that
You are beautiful
The things others hated
The right one finds cool

Don't try to impress them
And don't try to change
Your presence will bless them
They won't find you strange

The right one will love you
And they will not care
If blue sky's above you
As long as you're there

~~~G~~~

Insomnia, a trusted friend, where have you been, it's been too long
And vivid dreams that never end, they are not nightmares, they're just wrong
The daylight comes, I feel confused, I'm not relaxed and I could weep
And in a way I feel abused, my troubles just won't let me sleep

~~~G~~~

Your smile, your smile, it isn't real
Does not reflect the way you feel
Won't show us what you really mean
It's just a habit, just routine
Yet those of us who know the dark
Can tell the biting from the bark
Can tell the mouth from what's behind
We're many and we aren't blind

~~~G~~~

If memories are all we'll have, I want them to be good
Want to recall those evenings of laughter, sex and food
The time goes by, it will not stop, and someday we'll be old
When I think back to beds I slept in, they will not be cold
The people that I shared them with were blessings, nothing less
Each one of them in their own way replacing emptiness
When I think back to meals I had, I'll know why I'm not thin
But hopefully I'll learn to like the body that I'm in
It's never sick, it's good in bed, who cares about the shape?
I've learned that heroes neither need the muscles nor the cape
When I think back to who I met, I'll know that they made sense
Some made me be more paranoid, some tore down my defense
Some played a rather minor part, some changed my world and life
But all of them escorted me to where I will arrive
Now I am not a party guy, no that was never me
I like the calm nice movie nights in chosen company
I do prefer the online realm to mountains, fields and lakes
I'm not a fan of sports and rush, I play with lower stakes
I'm cowardly but in a way I always risk a lot
I put my heart out many times and scars are what I got
I don't complain, I wouldn't change this habit if I could
If memories are all we'll have, I want them to be good

~~~G~~~

And once again you fell for me
And once again you came
I know you'd never tell on me
Our passion is the same

Again my fingers made you wet
Again you shook and screamed
You said it's over but I bet
Our meetings will stay themed

~~~G~~~

I just don't feel it today
The joy, the fun and the laughter
The happily ever after
I just don't feel it today

I'm just not feeling okay
May be the job or the weather
No doubt that soon I'll be better
I'm just not feeling okay

~~~G~~~

In chains I do await my day
My nights are wasted anyway
So full of dreams I can't escape
They torture me, intrude and rape
So full of doubts and full of fears
Yet way too vague to cause me tears
What stays is darkness, subtle, faint
The need to run, to be unchained

~~~G~~~

Your life is not a petting zoo
It doesn't make much sense to you
All those annoying suckers say
"We all can have a crappy day"
They're ignorant and they are dumb
They do not understand you're numb
They do not understand you're dead
The daylight nightmares that you had
They'll never know you, never try
To understand the how and why
When you're freaked out, they say you're weak
Don't listen when you do not speak
They'll never fear tomorrow's pain
The way it's driving you insane
The tight embrace of deathly cold
That puts your pulse and breath on hold
The dark temptation, calm and deep
Of peaceful, neverending sleep
There is no way they'll ever see
They are not you. They are not me.

~~~G~~~

Your breast against my hungry tongue
Your pleasure song is almost sung
Your voice got higher, breath got loud
That's what this song is all about

~~~G~~~

I can be such a nuisance, I can be such a bore
But I'm also a lover and friend and much more
I can be so annoying or a show-off or jerk
But I'm honest and faithful and I'm worth all the work

I'm a tease and a charmer but I mean what I say
And I don't change opinions or habits each day
I may be overthinking but I also do feel
Quite a lot. What I'm saying: I am always for real

~~~G~~~

It's my turn to be heartbroken
Kiss me, take me, do your thing
All the things we left unspoken
Let them make my eardrums ring

Others left and you are lonely
And you've always been a friend
I can't be your one and only
But I'll stay here till the end

~~~G~~~

You've tasted my lips and you've tasted my lies
The drops from my dick and the ones from my eyes
You've been in control and been tied to my bed
You've swallowed the liquids and thoughts you were fed
You've been all around me and inside my head
You've seen me ecstatic and you've seen me sad
You've tasted my truths and you've seen my mistakes
Now gone, only you know the difference it makes

~~~G~~~

You kissed my cheek and said good-bye
And I was so confused by this
Not used to this specific kiss
Now I can't help but wonder why

See, usually I kind of know
What people think or how they feel
With you it's such a different deal
You just won't let your feelings show

~~~G~~~

I'm sad to see your cute face cry
Because I know the reason why
Because I've seen it in advance
You gambled high, you took a chance
And then you fell, you fell so hard
I saw it coming from the start
I couldn't catch you, shame on me
Those tears of yours, so sad to see

~~~G~~~

Don't touch me. They won't understand
For you and me it's just a hand,
It's just a gesture, nothing bad
For them it's so much more than that
They will not see us two as friends
They will imagine that our hands
Touch other, darker regions too
They'll make me stay away from you

~~~G~~~

Maybe you are not worth my efforts, girl
Got a cramp in my tongue from pleasing you
Not in every oyster there's a perl
Not each armor is worth me breaking through

~~~G~~~

Please hold me after both of us came
I don't want things to change at all
I need to feel exactly the same
Or else I cannot dare to fall

Please hold me after both of us screamed
And hold me for a long long while
Too often things are not what they seemed
And being wrong is just my style

~~~G~~~

You are afraid I'll break your heart
And I can't promise you I won't
This is a good and honest start
We could abort it but we don't

~~~G~~~

Yes, for a guy you look quite cute
You're waiting patiently and mute
I'll take my time 'cause this is new
But things feel natural with you
I kiss your neck, inhale your scent
I like the way your muscles bend
So I move on and find your face
No sign of fear, no, not a trace
Our lips, they meet and it feels weird
I've never touched another beard
But this is real and feels alright
We'll share much more than beds tonight
I'm going down and with my hands
I grab what grew within your pants
It feels like mine and it feels nice
I'm flattered when you close your eyes
And with a kiss I greet your growth
My mouth and hands, they please you both
I like your taste, you're in so deep
Tonight there won't be time for sleep
It still feels strange but still feels great
I'm glad that we arranged this date

~~~G~~~

I throw your shirt against the wall
Then kiss your breasts so sweet and small
My tongue makes both your nipples hard
You look just like a piece of art
The lights are dimmed, your eyes are shut
My palms both wander toward your butt
Your rhythmic movement, like a snake
It makes me stare at you and shake
You reach for me, your hands are quick
They find and liberate my dick
And without haste, intense and slow
They make it come to life and grow
We're both still kneeling on this bed
I am erect and you are wet
You're leaning closer for a kiss
Not many girls taste sweet like this
Before we know, all fabric's gone
And we are merging into one
You are quite skinny, I am not
We both are sweating, both are hot
This time it won't take very long
We both have urges far too strong
Passion dictates us what to do
You're screaming while I come in you
And then we're falling, chest to chest
We'll need a little while to rest
Your small head heavy on my skin
I kiss your hair and breathe you in
Then all goes dark, we disappear
But while I dream, I know you're here

~~~G~~~

I want your purple mouth around me, want your image on my mind
Want your lips and eyes to haunt me, so aggressive, yet so kind
I want your gentle arms to hold me, want your moaning through the phone
You're not my type, or so they told me; I pick women on my own

~~~G~~~

Your face inspires my fantasy
As brought to life by my hand and me
I'm comfortable watching in my seat
It's such a shame we will never meet

~~~G~~~

Even in my weakest moments, I am strong at the core
When all hope or strength have vanished, I can still endure more
It may take some weeks or longer but I know I'll survive
Cause for me the only option is to deal with this life

~~~G~~~

Sex is new to you
Let me fill you in
Let me teach you sin
Sex is new to you

I'll be true to you
I won't promise love
I don't feel enough
I'll be true to you

What I do to you
I have done before
I've been asked for more
What I do to you

I got through to you
I am worth your trust
I am worth your lust
I got through to you

~~~G~~~

We're all making fools of ourselves, my friend
We all feel embarrassed but in the end
We all are just human, we never learn
When something ignites us, we risk to burn

~~~G~~~

I am impatient and you are slow
I'm worth your time but how would you know?
So many tell me that I'm the best
But I can't force you to stay and test

So I'll retreat now because it seems
You're not the person I meet in dreams
I think you like me, but can't be sure
And what I look for is strong and pure

Yes, I'm annoying and blunt sometimes
Yes, those are two of my many crimes
You hardly know me, so you'll be fine
When I move on on this path of mine

~~~G~~~

I've done my share of crying
Of breaking down and dying
I've seen my share of darkness
I've tried to use my heart less

I've done my share of healing
Of coping and of dealing
With things around and in me
Don't doubt me, you have seen me

I've learned to keep on walking
Addressing problems, talking
On hoping and believing
And look, I am still breathing

~~~G~~~

Images are haunting me
Some fiction, some reality
Predictions some, some memory
But all of scary quality

~~~G~~~

Don't tell me I'm the perfect guy
What good does me perfection?
I just want an erection

Don't make me feel so loved and high
If you don't plan on staying
Less talking and more swaying

Don't want to hear why I am great
Please spare me all this caring
It's only lust we're sharing

Don't make me feel like you're my fate
Just focus on desire
Don't make me touch the fire

~~~G~~~

I did not spend those painful years
Trying to crush your many fears
Trying to make you chase your dream
And to build up your self-esteem
And make you stronger with each day
So I could watch you walk away

~~~G~~~

This life is not what I signed up for. It isn't what I had in mind.
All of this bullshit that surrounds us, that's what made Lady Justice blind.
This life is surely not yet tested, it's full of bugs and rated R.
Some of the content is disgusting, some cruel and some is just bizarre.

This life is such a crappy product, I would return it if I could.
But warranties are never given, it is unheard of but they should.
This life is labeled as a hazard, this life is dangerous and mean.
It's almost never what you paid for, it's no at all like on the screen.

~~~G~~~

I am a summer flirt
I guess my heart got hurt
It wasn't planned this way
That's all that I can say

I do not own your life
I'm sure that I'll survive
And I enjoyed your touch
I miss you very much

For a few weeks we cared
And all those nights we shared
We might not meet again
But memories remain

~~~G~~~

Run, leave me here, and don't look back!
I'm wounded and I might attack
Whoever comes too close to me
It's in my nature, it's just me
I'm coughing blood and sweating tears
I'm so much worse than it appears
Indifference is just my shield
I'm dying on the battlefield
I guess I try subconsciously
To tear some others down with me
So run and never turn your head
And leave me here alone instead

~~~G~~~

I sometimes am a handy man
I boil my pasta in a pan
It saves some work and tastes the same
Admittedly, it sounds quite lame

~~~G~~~

I am a hunter in a way
That feels connected to its prey
That feels the pain its fangs can cause
But instincts can't be set on pause

~~~G~~~

I do not want a Judas kiss
My mouth is worth much more than this
I don't want your dishonest smile
It only blinds me for a while
And I don't need your sympathy
Or lies that mean to comfort me
The truth is all I care about
Or else I'll always be in doubt

~~~G~~~

Chased by society
We stand in unity
Running alone no more
That's what I found you for

~~~G~~~

I always try to keep it real
And understand the way you feel
I do respect your "yes" and "no"
And if you asked me, I would go
But I can't hear a "no" so far
And on the backseat of your car
Feeling your waistline in my grip
I softly bite your lower lip

~~~G~~~

In a way you are my lady
In a way I am your guy
Definitions seem so shady
There's no point in asking why
All I want you cannot give me
Yet you come so fucking close
Maybe I just want you with me
But it is my head that chose

~~~G~~~

How can I tell you to move on
When I myself am weak like this?
The time of innocence and bliss
We both know well that it has gone

How can I tell you to stay strong
And look into your empty eyes?
We both know well that it's all lies
All words of comfort sound so wrong

How can we make it through the day
When we're too bitter to survive?
This state I'd hardly call alive
When death is just one cut away

How can you question what I feel?
How can you think I do not care?
No matter what I have to bear
You'll always be a bigger deal

~~~G~~~

There is no doubt in my mind
That some things are worth the torture
They might be rare things to find
But they change everything

These things will shape who you are
And will crush you into pieces
And they will leave you a scar
And it might always sting

~~~G~~~

Take my heart for a while, it can beat for you too
We can split the beats up, one for me, one for you
We don't need the full pace, every other beat's fine
While your own heart is hurt, it's okay, just take mine

~~~G~~~

The only choices I can make
Hurt either me or you, my love
I wish I knew which steps to take
But I can't choose, I'm not that tough

I know what you would recommend
The same thing I keep telling you
It's logical but in the end
It's brutal and thus painful too

It's not a choice a head should make
Or maybe it's exactly that
To choose for soul's or body's sake
It's not so easy since we met

I need more energy to live
Not sure how else I can recharge
The more I take, the more I give
Feel like a predator at large

So who can solve this shit for me?
Cause both of us are in too deep
I guess I'll have to wait and see
And hope that I'm not losing sleep

I'm not yet there, I still can wait
But not sure what I'm waiting for
For ending this it's way too late
And we both know that we want more

Could never risk to hurt someone
Who means so fucking much to me
To think that someday you'll be gone
That's not a possibility

It's kind of funny I am caught
Between one nice, one naughty door
Cause after all, life only brought
The passion I was asking for

~~~G~~~

I am a zombie in a way
I walk, I eat, get through the day
Sometimes I laugh or I feel good
But it is not my standard mood
I joke, I fuck, I love, I cry
But mostly I'm just getting by
I somehow stumble through my day
I am a zombie in a way

~~~G~~~

Tell me, where the hell are you
And what keeps you so long?
Dream of you every night and
Sing of you in each song

Why do you keep me waiting?
Are you waiting for me?
Are you crying at night when
You don't want them to see?

Do you know what I look like?
Do you care about looks?
Do you have an apartment
Full of movies and books?

Are you lonely like me or
Are you still with some guy
Who will never deserve you?
Do you ask yourself why?

Have you seen too much heartache?
Given up on true love?
Are you screwing around now
Or have you had enough?

You are all that I'm missing
Without you, life feels wrong
Tell me, where the hell are you
And what keeps you so long?

~~~G~~~

I can't go to sleep without talking to you
It might sound pathetic but what can I do?
My day is not over before our chat
And frankly I think there are worse things than that

~~~G~~~

Is it better to crush a heart quickly or slow?
Do you drown it in summer or wait for the snow?
Why postpone all the pain that you know has to come?
What's a good choice for many is a bad choice for some.

Is it better to wait with what has to be done?
Do you team up with morals or rather with fun?
But what's fun other than things that make you feel good?
It's not fun if you don't really feel in the mood.

~~~G~~~

Don't mean to change your dinner plans
But could you please by any chance
Revise the menue just a bit
And put my body onto it?

~~~G~~~

How can betrayal taste so sweet?
Your mouth surrounds me with its heat
And I surrender without fight
How can the wrong thing feel so right?

I feel ashamed by what we do
But feel so good inside of you
And while I struggle with regret
You are so beautiful and wet

~~~G~~~

Come, paint my future with your lips
Draw stories with your fingertips
Show me reflected in your tears
Why I have waited all these years

~~~G~~~

When you need rest, I am your dorm
Your haven, when you sail the storm
The one you trust with all your fears
Who is allowed to see your tears
The one you come to late at night
When devastated from the fight
You come to me, you always do
Cause what I lack, I am for you

~~~G~~~

I'm giving life a lot of thought
And things sure get screwed up a lot
I do believe that God's great plan
Is bigger than a simple man
I try to be a better me
I try to learn from what I see
Try to respect what I don't know
And sometimes fail in doing so
I'm sorry when I'm causing pain
I worry about staying sane
The future scares me but I keep
A rather deep and healthy sleep
I'm writing lists, I plan my days
I seldom fake a happy face
I hardly lie, I never smoke
Drink water, milkshakes, sometimes coke
I'm me, for better or for worse
And being me can be a curse
Oh, I screw up, I make mistakes
Cause heart and head and stomache aches
Cause joy and pleasure, fun and screams
Inspire poetry and dreams
Though sometimes desperate or sad
Further from living than from dead
I try to live the best I can
Until the day I see God's plan

~~~G~~~

You let me go, you set me free
You left and there was only me
Well baby, it is just too bad
You never valued what you had

And after you the others came
So different but yet the same
In that they told me I was great
You never knew, now it's too late

~~~G~~~

I never smoked and never will
I never drank a sip but still
It seems I'm somehow drugged by you
Addictions can be pleasant too

~~~G~~~

Be naked for me
Strip down to the real you
Come here, let me feel you
In all purity

As close as can be
Don't wear your protection
Just feel this connection
Between you and me

Be calm and just know
My arms let you rest now
Just sleep on my chest now
I won't let you go

~~~G~~~

I feel your hand and I feel blessed
I understand that this is rare
It's more than what you give the rest
Don't know why me and I don't care

I feel your breath and like the taste
And it feels good to hold you close
Won't let these moments go to waste
We might not have a lot of those

~~~G~~~

There's not a lot that I can do
When all those demons torture you
My words can't change the way you feel
Or solve this shit with which you deal
But do believe me when I say
No matter at which time of day
I'm always here, I always care
No matter what, feel free to share

~~~G~~~

You're telling me to kiss your butt
Well isn't that exciting?
I know you didn't mean it but
I find the thought inviting

~~~G~~~

And how could I not like you when you are so much like me?
When you manage to hear all those things I don't say?
And I know that you know that I want you beside me
And you know that I know that you miss me each day

And how could I not want you when I know that you want to?
When I feel so at ease with you there in my arm?
When a minute with you is worth all that we've gone through
When in spite of some pain we don't mean any harm

~~~G~~~

Outside I smell delicious meat
Surrounded by disgusting heat
I'm not a fan of summersun
But BBQs, they sure are fun

~~~G~~~

The sun is up, it's light again
It means that I will fight again
Convince myself that I'm okay
And make it through another day

~~~G~~~

When did I get so paranoid?
Trust my bad feelings more than you
Of all the things I think you do
I wish I had a Polaroid

Why do I even giva a fuck?
It shouldn't mean much change for me
Why can't I simply let it be?
It's nothing new, it's just my luck

So maybe I should take a break
Stop acting like a mindless fool
You cannot cheat where's there's no rule
No reason for this petty ache

~~~G~~~

Of all the lips that you could kiss
Of all the faces you could miss
Of all the hands you could have held
Of all the love you could have felt
Your heart picked me, I don't know how
I don't know what I'm feeling now
Don't know what I'm supposed to do
Or why I think so much of you

~~~G~~~

Just kiss me now, make me forget
Tomorrow we will both regret
This mindless night of heartless joy
A gift like once the horse in Troy
Too good at first, then really bad
We will regret the fun we had
The kissing, licking, touching, screams
Enslavement by spontaneous dreams
It is no doubt a bad idea
To do what we are doing here
The getting naked and on top
But we both know we will not stop
So what the hell, this huge mistake
It will not be the last I make
Won't be the last time that I know
I picked a painful way to go
And things will break, and scars will bleed
That's where this fatal kiss will lead
So kiss me now, make me forget
And give me something to regret

~~~G~~~

If I was fine then you would know
So please don't ask me how I feel
I am like this, I told you so
Sometimes this world just seems unreal

I really hope you understand
That this is me and never you
Be patient please and take my hand
There is not much that you can do

I will be fine, right now I'm not
And I will tell you what I need
It's a condition that I've got
Sometimes I just break down and bleed

I can be strong for others' sake
But for myself I need support
Don't worry, there's not much at stake
It's just my life I have to sort

I love myself, and quite a lot
And I will soon escape this state
It's a routine that I have got
A way of life, a stroke of fate

~~~G~~~

I want to drown inside your eyes
While I dive deep between your legs
Somewhere behind your iris lies
A feeling far more pure than sex

I want to feel your perfect skin
And want to touch your perfect soul
To kiss you outside and within
It is the only worthy goal

Don't want you patient and restrained
It's the explosion that I seek
Love's only real when it's unchained
When the emotion's brought to peak

~~~G~~~

They tell me that I should relax, well I should be so lucky
Cause I can only stop my head while sleeping or while fucking
They tell me to just live my life, what do they think I'm trying?
My goal is clearly to survive, if not I would be dying

~~~G~~~

So now my honey moved away
And it is funny in a way
Outside it's sunny every day

We were all "Start, break, that's enough!"
Whenever hearts break, it is tough
Yes, there is heartache without love

We had a good time, me and you
It was a cute crime, that is true
Now I must mute my feelings too

Scarred in some new ways, which I chose
It will take few days, I suppose
It's just a new case I must close

~~~G~~~

I wish I had a unicorn
Pink, fluffy, with a golden horn
That looks at me with big cute eyes
Is always there and always nice
And carries all my bags for me
I know I'd love it endlessly

~~~G~~~

A little ridiculous
How it's eating both of us
Quite stupid of you and me
To give in to jealousy

However, a wile from now
We'll work this stuff out somehow
We'll make it from here to there
As long as we both still care

~~~G~~~

My love, there is no bluff to call
'cause what you get is what you see
I'm not pretending, not at all
It never made much sense to me

My darling, do not analyze
I'll tell you what there is to know
There's no deceptions, no surprise
I am for real, I told you so

~~~G~~~

And then it's done and you break down
You cry, your body shakes, you frown
For once you push the strength away
You need some time without today
You will recharge, will resurrect
Regain the strength you now neglect
Will stop to shiver, stop to ache
But now you're empty, now you break

~~~G~~~

I hate this shit, I hate this feeling
Don't even know with what I'm dealing
Don't even know what it's about
And yet I want to scream and shout
And yet I want to run away
From all the things you do not say
From what I read between your words
Don't understand it, but it hurts

~~~G~~~

You stole my heart, you broke my will
You made me feel so weak and ill
I wasted many years on you
I won't admit it, but it's true

I'm stronger now, I'm me again
The one who packed his things and ran
And though I'm lonely and I'm lost
This seems to me the lower cost

~~~G~~~

Your naked body in the grass
We just ignore the cars that pass
The air is warm, your legs are wet
So are my fingers where they met
A long hot kiss, you're satisfied
One more addition to my pride
You grab my penis with your hand
Another round, I understand
Seems like I'll get my fun ride too
I'm leaning back and watching you
Your lips now make my love stick rise
You lick it to its perfect size
Sit down on me, no time for rest
Your hips move and I kiss your breast
More cars pass by, what do I care
They're travelling, I'm almost there

~~~G~~~

Caressing your legs
With kisses so hot
Slowly moving up
To that special spot
Where both of them meet
Your labia bare
Inhaling the heat
Just lingering there
Your skin shaking now
Awaiting my kiss
The moment can't get
Much better than this
I'm moving so close
You're spreading your legs
My tongue's gliding in
So hungry for sex

~~~G~~~

Was nice to have you here for a while
To share my life with someone again
Sometimes you made me giggle or smile
One heartbeat long a different man

You played me like you did all those guys
But helped me stay alive at the time
I don't know why I fell for your lies
Your company made up for your crime

~~~G~~~

I've been broke and I've been broken
No insult is left unspoken
No good deed is left undone
We've been there, done that, foul and fun

We've been bad and we've been better
Improvised and to the letter
Filled the crowded rooms with love
But all we did was not enough

~~~G~~~

Sometimes it's easier to hide
To swallow tears and swallow pride
Sometimes what someone really needs
Are pillows, cushions, cotton sheets

~~~G~~~

I can still respect you and simply move on
Although we've been naked and naughty and one
I can still be friends and be friendly and fair
Can still be your shelter and listen and care
I value your trust and I keep my lips sealed
When told all your secrets, they won't be revealed
Can still be your 'brother', can still treat you right
Although we were trembling and screaming last night

~~~G~~~

"Do you want me?"
Yes, of course I do
And frankly, I am nervous too
No man has touched you for a while
Uncertainty lies in your smile
You're standing there two steps away
Don't know if there is more to say
Or more to ask or to discuss
It's never been quite clear with us
We never quite knew where we stand
So I step closer, take your hand
And hold it for a minute there
You're not alone, I'm here, I swear
"Please hold me", it's a whispered plea
I hug you, stroke you carefully
And hold you for a silent sec
Then suddenly you kiss my neck
And eyes both closed I kiss you too
No more uncertainty in you
With one step back you look at me
Remove your T-shirt gracefully
Your skin inviting, soft and pale
I follow you and I inhale
Your sweet clean scent
And with one hand
Unhook your bra
Your whispered "Ah"
Too much to bear
You touch my hair
While I kneel down
And make you drown
In lust and bliss
With one long kiss

~~~G~~~

I make mistakes
Once in a while
Make good hearts break
Wrong people smile
Don't always learn
From what goes wrong
Don't always earn
What comes alone
But I still feel
With dignity
I'm always real
And always me

~~~G~~~

Don't hide your affection behind common sense
The air in between us is way too tense
Come, show me again what you're like underneath
The grace and the stealth of a master thief
Now give me another good show with those lips
The kind that destroys relationships

~~~G~~~

Kiss the world away
Press your body against mine
Hide your eyes' enchanted shine
Hold me, make me sway

Kiss our lives away
Let the sorrow rest for now
Make tomorrow go somehow
Celebrate today

Kiss the pain away
Know you matter much to me
What we want we cannot be
But I'll always stay

Kiss the world away
Trust me, I do understand
But right now just hold my hand
Kiss the world away

~~~G~~~

We shared sheets and sushi, would kiss and would joke
You held me and I licked your breasts as we spoke
You knew there were many and you knew their names
My life was a mess but I never played games
You told me your secrets, you cried in my arm
And I tried my best not to pay you with harm
You were one of many, each one I recall
Each one of you special, I valued them all

~~~G~~~

I feel torn apart between dick and heart
Between lust and peace, emptiness and tease
Though I like to flirt, sometimes I get hurt
And I want to run from this harmless fun

Sometimes I'm not sure how much to endure
And if I will gain happiness or pain
See, to share my bed occupies my head
And it helps to live – but it's much to give

~~~G~~~

And when you cry
I won't ask why
If I can know
You'll tell me so

I'll dry each tear
When they appear
My lips will stop
Each single drop

~~~G~~~

We were quite close in our own way
I feel us drift apart today
A while ago you trusted me
With things that no one else could see

But now it seems you're moving on
The time of late-night calls has gone
We do still talk, we're nice and all
But it's not quite like I recall

Don't know for sure but guess somehow
Your life seems to work better now
I should be happy you are fine
But miss when all your trust was mine

~~~G~~~

How could we fuck things up so bad?
Remember all the fun we had?
Remember how I held you tight
So close to me each single night?
Remember how I caused your smiles
The sweaty sex like running miles
The films we watched, the jokes we shared
Our hearts entwined, our bodies bared?
All gone, don't even have regret
How could we fuck things up like that?

~~~G~~~

The kiss of your fingers
It lingers and burns
The Earth is so restless
And fast as it turns

Still taste your erection
Perfection to me
To what I'm unfolding
You're holding the key

Your voice makes me tremble
Assemble my lust
So deep, like the ocean
Your motion I trust

~~~G~~~

You slapped me hard, I feel the shape
Of fingers where my cheekbones ache
You frown at me, you're really pissed
You shake so much you almost missed
It hurts and I am grumpy but
I might deserve the taste of blood
I might in fact have been a swine
Seems fair you slap this face of mine

~~~G~~~

Don't think of me, I'm not the guy
Who is supposed to make you high
Don't fall for me, I can't catch you
The way that you would want me to
Don't be so cute, don't make my day
It's hard enough to look away
Don't tell me that you like my look
You know how much restraint it took
The other guy, I'm sure he's great
And waiting for another date
I'm sure he's nice and loves you much
While we enjoy each other's touch

~~~G~~~

I am not your toy, I am really done
Putting up with shit that you say for fun
I am worth too much, I have feelings too
And I won't suck up to a dick like you
So the only thing I allow today:
Watch my well-shaped ass as I walk away

~~~G~~~

Waiting for the day to pass
Darkness has not size nor mass
Loneliness cannot be heard
Though it clings to every word

Waiting for the dawn of night
When the dusk absorbs the light
Where the shadows merge with me
More than just internally

~~~G~~~

Sometimes my mind wanders off to a time when you and me were still called us, it now seems so far behind.
And yes I know, things have changed quite a lot but now and then I can't succeed to push you out of my mind.
Sometimes I feel like a terrible person 'cause I think it would be easier if you were just dead.
And then I'm scared that somebody can hear me, but it's true, it's way more painful losing all that we had.
Sometimes I lie on my bed and I'm crying, crouched together like a baby with nobody to see.
And then I sleep, face pressed into my pillow, 'cause nobody else must know this weaker version of me.

~~~G~~~

I feel you lurking in the dark
It's been a while since we were one
You've left your everlasting mark
But for a while then you were gone

I'll try not to embrace you now
But I don't know how this will end
With us it's come and go somehow
My pitch black cloud, unpleasant friend

~~~G~~~

You catch my mouth so hungrily
Your burning lips surrounding me
No point in running, hard to breathe
You make a broken man believe

Your tongue so sweet between my teeth
It's quite a present I receive
The taste of summer holiday
You quickly kiss my brain away

~~~G~~~

My hand is empty, my lips are cold
I'm feeling cruel and I'm feeling old
My bed is lonely, and I am too
It isn't love but it still is you

~~~G~~~

I want your lips to mirror mine
I want us both to cross this line
In our eyes the tear drops shine
I can't expect us to be fine

~~~G~~~

You're kneeling in front of me
Kissing my property
You're taking it in and out
My help is not allowed
So I have to wait my turn
Anticipations burn
At last you lay down for me
Waiting impatiently
You're turning me on, and how
I do the kissing now
Your movement is fast and rough
My tongue is fast enough
It ends with a scream and sigh
Few seconds passing by
Now let's do this face to face
Starting another race

~~~G~~~

It's getting late, so take a rest
Just place your head upon my chest
Then close your eyes, don't think so much
You look so nice, just feel my touch
This does not need another word
Please do not feed on things that hurt
Anxiety, just let it go
Be here with me, it's hard, I know
Now let me kiss this head of yours
It's times like this that open doors
A peaceful mind is not a cage
It's hard to find in our age

~~~G~~~

I've left my trail of broken hearts
Around the globe in even parts
Left those who made me feel so warm
So shelterless out in the storm

And now I walk the ice alone
My heart and conscience hard as bone
I do not dare to ask once more
For love that warms my frozen core

Those whom I loved I left behind
To love no more seems only kind
I manage not to take my pride
In feeling cold and dead inside

~~~G~~~

Don't spill the soup, Juan!
I don't care why you run
Don't care about your mood
One does not mess with food!

~~~G~~~

I miss your fingers 'round my own
Your voice with its exotic tone
And how you melt beneath my touch
Those little things, they mean so much

~~~G~~~

A body floating in the sea
It's unfamiliar, strange to me
The name unknown, the face so white
No hope at all, no pretty sight
What got you there, I wish I knew
Is someone searching after you?
Is someone waiting, scared like hell?
From where you came I cannot tell
And did you jump or were you tossed?
Is life the only thing you've lost?
Or was it just the final stage
The only way to leave your cage?
I wonder if we ever met
But once at home I will forget
I guess you're no concern of mine
I guess tomorrow I'll be fine

~~~G~~~

You're less experienced, that's true
Some things we do are new to you
But if you hadn't told me so
From your response I wouldn't know
I wish we had more time to teach
Your lips so close, yet out of reach
Your skin so soft, your breath so nice
No space for fear, regrets or lies
Or for denying how this feels
How it much more than just appeals
I too am grateful that we met
Don't worry, I will not forget

~~~G~~~

By now I do not fear the pain
With every loss there's much to gain
And in the end it will make sense
So ease up on your self-defense
There's more to come, it's not too late
Life taught me to appreciate
The smaller things, the things that hurt
I'm calmer now, yet more alert
And I can't know what is to come
Bad future days, there will be some
But also good ones, so prepare
To savor them and be aware
Of all the lessons that you learned
By wounds that once were fresh and burned
And now are scars you hardly see
You're stronger than you used to be

~~~G~~~

I do not want to make you cry
Not with my "Hi", nor my "Good-bye"
Life works like this, I don't know why
Too often bottom follows high

~~~G~~~

We shared a moment, maybe two
I put my trust and more in you
We had an entertaining night
Not more, not less, and that's alright

See, I've had heartaches, I've had love
Had fun and fights, of both enough
I take it easy nowadays
Respect the people's different ways

So do not worry, I'm alright
It's just another pleasant night
I was the rebound guy, I know
Don't mind me, pack your stuff and go

~~~G~~~

Tell me all your worries
Tell me all your dreams
Tell me when you're feeling
Different than it seems

Tell me when you're angry
Tell me when you're sad
Tell me what you're missing
All the fights you had

Tell me when you're aching
Underneath a smile
When you were mistaken
Broken for a while

Tell me when you're failing
Tell me when you're lost
What you had to go through
How you paid the cost

Tell me all the things that
No one needs to know
So that I can follow
Every path you go

~~~G~~~

I am a summer flirt
My ego isn't hurt
In fact it's quite okay
I'm fine with things this way

I do not own your heart
I knew this from the start
I just enjoy your touch
I like it very much

We only have few days
Then we'll go seperate ways
We might not meet again
But memories remain

~~~G~~~

It isn't love that hurt you, the circumstances did
Whatever you refer to, forget about this shit
It's not about the falling, you just did not get caught
The dices are still rolling, some fights are left unfought

The people you relied on, they weren't worth your trust
The pillows that you cried on, just burn them if you must
There's other people out there, we're waiting for your call
The past has been a nightmare – but we will stop your fall

~~~G~~~

Words are my weapons, statements my shields.
Boredom my battles, Facebook my fields.

~~~G~~~

I liked you in my bed, with all defenses down
The moments that we had, and all the things you said
You're different in the streets, as shady as this town
Our eyeballs only meet when you're under my sheets

~~~G~~~

Fly, little soul, into the night
Once you were whole, once you were bright
Fly, far away, don't stay with me
Let the new day rise gracefully

This is goodbye, this is farewell
What happened why, I'll never tell
Into the dark, out of my sight
You've left your mark, it's time for light

~~~G~~~

I'm longing for your hug today
The stupid sunburn's in the way

~~~G~~~

You've shaved for me. I like the gesture. I eat unprocessed too, you know.
The dress you picked is polyester. I do not care. It has to go.
You've used some fruity body lotion. I taste the berries as we kiss.
Now you're adapting to my motion. Who would have thought you're good at this?
Your once so civilized affection explodes as all restraints are gone.
I'm glad I always use protection. It's safe to say you turn me on!

~~~G~~~

Running slowly round the hill
With my finger; you lie still
Rhythmic motions of your chest
Freshly goosebumped, long undressed
Lips an open, begging slot
So inviting, waiting, hot
Both your hands clawed to my sheet
Softly trembling in the heat
What a torture it must be
To await me silently
And your eyes show wide and clear
All the sounds that I don't hear
I forbade them, you comply
Low on words you're getting high
Both legs spread and open wide
You're demanding me inside
I feel tortured in return
It's restraint we have to learn
But right now we're both too hot
Swallow me with all you've got

~~~G~~~

Come here to me, do not retreat
I know that trust can bring defeat
I know that people in the past
Have punched your heart, it won't heal fast
And as a stranger, I agree
It is a danger, trusting me
It is a risk that's yours to take
My good intentions could be fake
My smile and hugs could be a trap
My words could be a load of crap
My promise worth not much at all
I might not catch you when you fall
But do, just once, consider this:
I might be real, and you would miss
A friend and shoulder if you passed
Cause what I offer just might last

~~~G~~~

It was a mistake, succumbing to you
The rest mustn't know the things that we do
I don't understand how it came to this
A few thoughtless words, a first harmless kiss
Now I feel so trapped; they're staring at me
And I am afraid of what they might see
I didn't deserve a life that's so crude
But for what it's worth, it really feels good

~~~G~~~

Democracy, a good idea
It's us who have the power here
Unfortunately, that's the twist
Democracy does not exist
The ones who really are in charge
Are companies, the rich and large
They write our laws while politicians
Present them as their own decisions
Why don't I hear the people scream
Defending the collective dream
Of freedom and equality
Of fairness and of privacy?
The latter is another myth
They do not even act as if
We still have secrets anymore
They're spying on us like before
They know our e-mails, aquicisions
Our phone calls, bank accounts, positions
They know who we are voting for
Which stars and products we adore
They know our friends, our families
Our passwords, problems, remedies
They know exactly where we go
And the surveillance folders grow
So how can we be sitting still?
This lack of caring makes me ill
Are we so drugged by television
That we have lost all our ambition?
Are we too stupid to complain
As few of our rights remain?
Why are we all looking aside
Just 'cause there's nothing that we hide?
Is that a reason to ignore
That we are losing without war?
We've reached a stage where no one cares
About a government that dares
To kill its "fiends" without conviction
Expands its witchhunt jurisdiction
A man who proves this tyranny
Is chased and called an enemy
A leader speaks an open threat
So why is no one here upset?
With censorship and random killing
How can we sit around so willing
To watch the news anchor debate
We must act now or it's too late!
We must assemble in the street
We must be loud and cause some heat
Must risk our lives against police
That might side with the enemies
Must stand together, make some noise
And raise a firm collective voice
Before it's nineteen-eighty-four
Before the public is no more
Before we've lost as sad conclusion
Democracy, our last illusion

~~~G~~~

Filled with pizza, hot and fat
Now he smiles, the ugly brat
Peacefully producing burps
Smelling of the pizza herbs
Soon his nagging will return
Hope is pointless, he won't learn
Raising him, a bitter fate
Should have used a condom, mate

~~~G~~~

Rest your head between my legs
Cuddle up and feel my skin
Let my play relaxing tracks
Kiss me softly, breathe me in

Let me do the same to you
Share your kiss not touching mine
Linked together, through and through
Slowly count to sixty-nine

~~~G~~~

My fun spot is itching
Come, give it a kiss
With tongue and with passion
I'm feeling amiss

My needs need attention
My skin needs your skill
Sometimes I need someone
To wipe out my will

~~~G~~~

Give me your lips
To hold on to something
Give me your lips
And never let go

Let me inhale
Your breath and your friendship
Show me you're here
It's so good to know

Hold me so tight
I feel claustrophobic
Give me that warmth
That's so hard to find

Kiss me again
Pretend we are lovers
Give me your lips
And shut down my mind

~~~G~~~

They wish you sunshine
They wish you luck
That you're not killed by
An icecream truck

They wish you money
They wish you peace
And milk and honey
In quantities

Those are nice wishes
I give 'em that
So which nice things are
Still left unsaid?

I wish you heartache
I wish you sex
Ecstatic moments
A dreadful ex

I wish you chances
You take or blow
I wish you "Fuck!" and
"I told you so!"

I wish you boredom
I wish you stress
A perfect run and
A painful mess

I wish you gain some
Experience
Some fake betrayers
Some honest friends

I wish you laughter
I wish you tears
I wish you courage
I wish you fears

I wish you failure
And great success
To gather more and
Desire less

I wish you wisdom
From ups and downs
A path to follow
For many rounds

I wish, no matter
How dark it gets
The strength to make it
And no regrets

~~~G~~~

If my dreams show me the way
I am on the wrong one now
What I do during the day
Is so different somehow

If my dreams show what I need
My decisions weren't right
Do I want now to proceed?
Cause my days are not my nights

~~~G~~~

Invade me please, come into me
Negate my peace and dignity
Invade me please, and fill me out
Make me complain and make me shout
Invade me please, and play it rough
Make me regret and call my bluff
Invade me now, I'll go insane
First kill me, so I'll live again

~~~G~~~

Since when are we flirting so openly?
It's always been subtle with you and me
I guess nothing's holding us back by now
Your words make me raise more than just a brow
And why not be caught up in something sweet?
You know I can handle a little heat
And why not be cool and be on the spot
To taste the refreshment of something hot

~~~G~~~

You're a doggy late at night
All dirty bark and naughty bite
Lether collar, licking bones
Chasing tails and howling moans

So we're playing, catching balls
And you sit as master calls
You obey me perfectly
Who's a good boy, is it me?

~~~G~~~

Exhausted and tired
Connected and wired
So close to so many
But not friends with any
Alone in your armchair
Your chest and your heart bare
And no one can see you
They will never be you

~~~G~~~

They look so happy when they kiss
So odd that I once looked like this
They do not care about your stares
The platform and the train are theirs
They're holding hands, entangling fingers
The echo of their kisses lingers
Here in the air, around us all
A mockingbird's sadistic call
Your looks say, "Go and get a room"
Your irritation seems to loom
This kind of touching has no place
In such an open, public space
And while their love is aching me
I cannot help but disagree
A kiss is never out of place
And neither is a happy face
It's not like they are fucking here
And if they were, why interfere?
There's too much hatred as it is
I will not be repelled by bliss
My loneliness can't justify
The wish that no one else was high
So here's my honest, good advice:
Don't mind their stares, keep kissing, guys!

~~~G~~~

Your lips bring back the memory
As they kiss numb a part of me
Your taste entails a sense of pain
I tried so hard not to mentain

I've come so far and grown so much
It all melts down beneath your touch
I'm back where I began to rise
And I sense water in my eyes

Why would you crush what just began?
Why would you make me feel again?
The emptiness erased by pain
I did not think I could regain

And in a sense I'm glad you're here
To feel again is worth a tear
To be a human after all
Is worth another rise and fall

~~~G~~~

Remember when you felt alright as long as I would hold you tight
Remember when a long embrace would make you rest and close a case
Remember when you came to me in any kind of misery
When my support still meant a lot, when it still mattered what we got

~~~G~~~

Humidity destroys my hair
I'm stuck to my fake leather chair
I'm sweating, moaning in despair
I hate the heat, it isn't fair

~~~G~~~

You make the same mistakes again
You think he's changed, a different man
But if he does return to you
It is because it's easy to

~~~G~~~

Show me all their faces
Tell me all their names
The ones that earned your heart and
The ones that just played games

Tell me all your stories
How and when you met
Which days made you feel special
Which ones do you regret

Tell me why you loved them
Tell me why it hurt
Which ones do you still like and
Which ones are less than dirt

Let me know your bleeding
Show me all your scars
Who did betray your trust and
Who promised you the stars

Tell me what you wanted
What you did not get
What you once had but miss now
The sails that you once set

Let me know your wishes
Let me know your fears
Show me what makes you happy
Then let me see your tears

Show me all your faces
Every single one
My past has shown me this is
The way it must be done

Let me see you ugly
Know you through and through
I want to see your future
And make it true with you

~~~G~~~

You thought of me the other day
And hoped that I would feel okay
You knew I wouldn't talk to you
Since we broke up, I never do
You're wondering if I'm doing well
There really is no way to tell
You're doing great, your life is good
He treats you like I never could
The end is sometimes just a turn
Sometimes we need to grow and learn
If I am there yet, you don't know
For what it's worth, you're hoping so

~~~G~~~

It all felt different last night
When urges overshadowed hearts
The scent of lust, your lips closed tight
Around my most exclusive parts

It all made sense when it was dark
When I was tense and half asleep
My loneliness had left its mark
And you took in my passion deep

My mouth was pressed against your breast
My tongue caressing naked skin
Each of us did what we do best
You felt so wet and warm within

And for some hours it was great
The neighbors must have heard us scream
You came two times and I came late
Then both of us began to dream

Now in the sunlight I must deal
With bad decisions I have made
With the repulsion that I feel
The aftermath of getting laid

~~~G~~~

Don't look at me like that
Hell, what did you expect from me?
Don't tell me you regret
The things we did last night

Don't blame me for a thing
I told you in advance what this
Exchange of fluids would bring
I'm honest, not polite

Grow up and don't complain
The night is over, it was nice
Now go and catch your train
I've got some work to do

Don't look at me like this
You got what we agreed upon
Now here's a final kiss
I'm getting sick of you

~~~G~~~

So this is it. I'm in your bed.
Less than a week ago we met.
I brushed my teeth. Your sheets smell nice.
I checked my condom pocket twice.

~~~G~~~

Don't know what I am doing here, I hate this kind of place
The flashing lights, the stench of sweat, the air a smoky haze
The beat so loud that it controls my heartbeat's hectic pace
And in the crowd I see a face of such intriguing grace

We're both not here to socialize, I know you're not a bore
I see approval in your eyes, you're interested in more
Give me a memory of sin behind some unlocked door
Sometimes I want to stick it in where no one's been before

There is no talk or compromise, we both know what we do
And I prefer this to the lies that others put me through
I do not need to know your name or why you're feelig blue
The fact that we're not playing games is why I'm trusting you

~~~G~~~

I'm telling stories
That's what I do
Not all are good ones
Not all are true

But every one is
A part of me
And in this moment
It's what I see

I feel the plot while
I form the words
Sometimes it soothes me
Sometimes it hurts

I'm not explicit
I'm vague at times
There's more than one tale
Behind my rhymes

Each of you reads them
A different way
The meaning changes
The feelings stay

~~~G~~~

When the sky is dark
And my life's unfair
I just cuddle up
With my teddy bear

This won't change a thing
Necessarily
But at least he's soft
And he's there for me

~~~G~~~

Your eyes say "Hit me!"
I know you're not
A fan of cuddling
You like it hot

Don't want to hurt you
But fair enough
I can deliver
Let's play this rough

I smack your bottom
I smack your face
I see approval
Within your gaze

So I continue
And tear your pants
Ignore the burning
Of both my hands

You say "Come closer"
So I comply
My pulse is racing
I'm feeling high

I choose an entrance
Then I move in
It's not the front door
Which makes you grin

And back and forward
And in and out
You scratch my shoulders
Both of us shout

It's over qickly
But that's alright
I couldn't do this
To you all night

~~~G~~~

Please do not think that I don't care
Your sight is just too much to bear
That is the only reason why
I ask you now to say good-bye

I know you want to be my friend
I hope that you can understand
Our paths must now be split in two
It was an honor meeting you

The perfect sex will not be all
Of our time that I recall
Not just your body has to go
I lose my best friend too, you know?

~~~G~~~

You are half my age
You are half a child
It would just be wrong
Us two going wild

Now you pull me close
And I don't pull back
I am so confused
By your soft attack

As you kiss me now
I feel overdressed
Your amazing taste
Ends my weak protest

And your soft hand slides
Gently down my skin
This is happening
Now I want you in

We stand close like this
And our hands explore
Now my eyes are shut
And my lips want more

I am twice your age
But this feels so grand
And desires grow
Underneath my hands

I remove your pants
We don't need them now
Yes I want this too
And I show you how

I feel wet and hot
You just flash a grin
And you tease some more
Then you're sliding in

No, I didn't think
You could make me fall
Now it's happening
I don't think at all

~~~G~~~

So you're twice my age
But it doesn't hurt
As I let my hand
Slip inside your skirt

As I pull you close
Does it feel too strange?
I enjoy my lust
On a broader range

You seem skeptical
But return my kiss
It becomes quite clear
You're not ending this

I unhook your bra
Only takes one sec
And before you know
I caress your back

We stand close like that
And our hands explore
Now your eyes are closed
And your lips want more

So I'm half yor age
But you're just my size
Clothes drop on the floor
Inner tensions rise

You've made up your mind
You remove my jeans
Then you spread your legs
I know what that means

Still I let you wait
For a little while
And your tortured look
Causes me a smile

No, you didn't think
We would see this through
Now you moan and feel
Me inside of you

~~~G~~~

Dear Love,

I haven't felt you ever since you turned your back on me
I sometimes doubt that you will find safe passage back to me
I've seen you touching other guys and other girls as well
You seemed quite busy doing that as far as I can tell
So here's my letter, guess it's better if I say good-bye
I see no sense in being sensitive and stay and try
But for the record: you left me, I'm not the bastard here
I can be proud of all the things that I have mastered here
Of all the time that I've stayed strong instead of breaking down
The aching has been long enough, so I'll see you around
Don't fake remorse, you do not care, so please don't act as if
I hope you'll fall from your high horse,

Sincerely yours,
G. Smith

~~~G~~~

I want breathtaking sex
Of this very rare kind
That I had with my ex
That is so hard to find

I want more than just great
Great is easy to reach
I want more than a mate
Want to learn and to teach

~~~G~~~

Don't you see that I'm conflicted
Even though my mind seems clear
I am free and yet addicted
Compromised from front to rear

I can't give you the confession
That I don't want you around
For at least you give me passion
It's a gift so rarely found

~~~G~~~

There's nothing left of what we had
Destruction has been done and said
The dreams we grew have long since died
Too many tears have long since dried
I know you now, maybe too well
Your feelings changed and I can tell
Your heart no longer is my home
And mine needs to be wrapped in foam
You look at me and understand
No need to offer me your hand
I can no longer be your friend
To deal with change, I need an end
Now hold me close for one last time
For one last night commit this crime
Of sharing bodies but not souls
My heart can take some last fresh holes
Before you close the door and go
Put on one final private show
Let me have every inch of you
Caress me, kiss me, see it through
Pretend that we're still close like this
Give me one final thing to miss

~~~G~~~

Nimm mich ernst im rechten Moment
Sei ein Mensch, der diesen erkennt
Mach ich Spaß, dann lach ruhig mit mir
Wenn ich wein, dann sei für mich hier

Nimm mich ernst, wenn ich ernsthaft bin
Bin ich still, setz dich zu mir hin
Lauf ich fort, dann halt mich nicht auf
Sieh mir nach, so lange ich lauf

Nimm mich ernst und lach mich nicht aus
Sei bei mir, gib mir ein Zuhaus
Halt mich fest doch schnür mich nicht zu
Hab mich gern, egal was ich tu

Nimm mich ernst im rechten Moment
Sei ein Mensch, der diesen erkennt
Man muss Schmerz nicht fühln, nur verstehn
Hie und da genauer hinsehn

~~~G~~~

I don't really think that you care about me
You just seem to like how I care about you
You want my affection and my sympathy
I want to be wrong about this but it's true

~~~G~~~

I know you like passion
So I show aggression
The sound of torn shirts
Don't care if it hurts
Your pale body stretches
My fingers leave scratches
You're longing for sin
So I'm breaking in
I wickedly smile and
You only stay silent
You want to be loud
But it's not allowed
I force you to swallow
The sounds that would follow
A nonvocal scream
Half nightmare, half dream
Your tears provoke action
And raise my attraction
I'm easily teased
I know you are pleased

~~~G~~~

Of course you're playing with me
I am not stupid, you know
But I don't mind 'cause you see
I am enjoying your show

I have been played in the past
I know the tricks that you use
Let's see how long this game lasts
I do not have much to lose

~~~G~~~

Don't leave your heart behind with us
We never made it flourish
Please keep it, grow and nourish

It needs your care much more than us
Make sure it's not too lonely
It is your one and only

~~~G~~~

I cry, but no tear escapes my eye
I try, but the fear sedates my sigh
The ache stuns my body and I shake
Awake only for my body's sake

~~~G~~~

I'm walking in circles
No purpose, astray
Forgetting the reasons
For walking away

I'm walking in circles
I've been here before
Why I've left this place then
Don't care anymore

~~~G~~~

Farewell, my friend, it's time to part
I know you have to cure your heart
We did not have much time, but still
You leave behind some holes to fill

Farewell, there's nothing else to say
I wish you sunshine on your way
I understand, you have to run
It feels unfair but must be done

Farewell, a word you did not use
Your face is something you can't lose
You lack the strength to say goodbye
I understand. I won't ask why

~~~G~~~

You stupid heart, stop intervening
My head knows best what's good right now
My life's a mess and I'm still cleaning
You've got to wait your turn somehow

~~~G~~~

What is so wrong with sharing a night
Before you move on and catch the last flight?
What is so wrong with not feeling alone
Before you are gone and do things on your own?

~~~G~~~

What we can or can't be
Is a decision you make
If it was up to me
It's a risk I would take

You're afraid things might change
Or I wouldn't be pleased
I don't think it'd be strange
And this chance should be seized

I can't promise you now
Everything will be fine
I just figure somehow
That your heart aches like mine

~~~G~~~

No, you're not what I expected
Trust me, I am scared as hell
If our futures are connected
Only they themselves can tell

You are not the one I search for
Maybe you're the one I need
All those things I've got an urge for
Maybe they're a list of greed

I'm afraid that this will lead to
Just another sad good-bye
Then again, maybe I need you
To be certain I must try

~~~G~~~

Please don't be polite, just tell me the truth
You know I've survived rejection before
You have every right to savor your youth
I have been deprived, derided and sore

~~~G~~~

I don't want you to kill yourself
But that's a selfish thing to say
It is your life, your pain, your health
Still I am begging you to stay
It's your decision, I agree
But it affects the rest of us
It's sure as hell affecting me
That's why I'll stop you if I must
You see, I understand the urge
I've seen the darkness many times
I too have strolled along the verge
You've read it in between my rhymes
However, this you must believe:
It will not always be this way
No matter when, you will retrieve
The joy and happiness one day.

~~~G~~~

It is not the sex I long for
Though I love it as you know
It's the sharing of a moment
Letting the emotions flow

Though orgasms are desired
This is not why I am here
Riding partners could be hired
But I want to feel you near

See, it's not as if I love you
But believe me that I care
I can leave you if I have to
But prefer when you are there

What we have is not forever
But it's good right here and now
Once we cease to be together
I know I'll move on somehow

~~~G~~~

I know I have no right to beg
But I don't want to sleep alone
I miss the pressure of your leg
It's all that I have ever known

I want to put my hand in yours
And hear you breathing peacefully
Then press against you without force
Because your touch means peace to me

~~~G~~~

I still feel the repercussions of the talk we had last night
It don't think that we were flirting though you were a pretty sight
You said that you didn't want it but did not escape my touch
Now I feel confused and restless, this too little was too much

~~~G~~~

I wanna be held just like I want to hold
I'm willing to tell like I wanna be told
Instead of this hell why can't I feel some home?
You want it as well, why are we both alone?

~~~G~~~

I cannot tell you a thing that you don't already know
I cannot tell you which way you are predestined to go
You have to know for yourself what feels or doesn't feel right
All I can offer you now is gently holding you tight

~~~G~~~

I'm pressing you against the wall
It seems that you don't mind at all
My fingers slide inside your pants
And on my neck I feel your hands
Your lips burn hot against my skin
My fingers feel the fluids within
They move in circles and they master
To make your breath more deep and faster
I feel you shake from satisfaction
This loved familiar great reaction

~~~G~~~

I need you to love me
I need you to care
I need you to go wild
In your underwear
I need you to please me
And long for my touch
I need you to need me
I need you so much

~~~G~~~

First of all: You look so cute!
Second: I shouldn't have said that first.
Third: Why do you act so mute?
The thoughts in your head almost make it burst.

~~~G~~~

I am not going to attack you
There is no need for your defense
You built these walls up to protect you
And I am sure that they make sense

But tell me how am I supposed to
Show you that I am worth your trust
When you are vulnerable the most you
Can see if there is more than lust

It's not my goal to persuade you
And though I'd like to stick around
My only choice is to evade you
Untill we meet on even ground

~~~G~~~

Covered in ice
True beauty lies
Out in the cold

Don't leave your dorm
Stay where it's warm
That's what we're told

~~~G~~~

Look at my mouth, how it longs for your kiss
I don't have words, but I promise you this:
Every inch of my lips wants your touch
Tell without words how I need you so much

~~~G~~~

Hate is not love's enemy
It's hardly worth a tear
The pain that needs a remedy
It isn't hate but fear

~~~G~~~

Your heartbeat races close to me
You kiss my fingers tenderly
My eyes are closed but I recall
The way you look, I know it all
From many angles I have seen
Your lips so red, your eyes so green
I feel your mouth around my thumb
I'm semi-conscious, semi-numb
It is my turn, cause yours is through
So I explode inside of you

~~~G~~~

I am me and that is good
I will not change that though I could
I'm far from perfect now and then
But that's okay, I'm just a man

~~~G~~~

They say that there are others. They say I'm not alone.
I'm living in a world that has such a dark gray tone.
They say that I'm not helpless. I'm not the only one.
But everyone I knew has at some point left and gone.
Those others, they might help me. They know what I've been through.
I can't expect to find you unless I look for you.

~~~G~~~

I have dined with Gods
Beaten all the odds
Conquered death and fear
Now I'm standing here
Lonely in the dark
In an empty park
Can you help me please?
I just lost my keys

~~~G~~~

Look at me. I've disappeared.
This was exactly what I'd feared.
Listen now. What do you hear?
Just silence, cause I'm nowhere near.
Think of me. Do you recall?
Do you remember me at all?

~~~G~~~

Carry me for a while and
I will walk for you
Listen now that I'm silent
I will talk for you
Start to question my smile and
I won't lie to you
Lift me up for a while and
I will fly for you

~~~G~~~

I'm feeding on your innocence
My body breaks your self-defense
Your pupils sweat, your lungs, they shout
There is no way you'll keep me out
And I intrude, and you comply
It's happening, don't even try
You bend according to my will
Your youth makes up for lack of skill
That's how it works, this much you knew
You did invite me, didn't you?

~~~G~~~

You made me afraid of my own signal tone
A wave of despair with one sound from my phone
It seemed so unlikely but you made it true
With each text I hoped that it wasn't from you

~~~G~~~

Uncertainty sucks
The life out of you
The punches, the hugs
If only you knew

~~~G~~~

There was sun on our skins
Catchy songs in the air
I was calm and at peace
You were stroking my hair

We'd made love in the fields
And again by the lake
Days like this make me breathe
And forget all my ache

There was hope in your voice
There was love in your eyes
And I knew that you hoped
There'd be no more good-byes

But how could I forget
There was doubt in my heart
Please don't blame me for this
Cause you knew from the start

There was sun on my skin
Catchy songs in the air
There was peace in my head
But the love wasn't there

~~~G~~~

Yes, I confess, I am a mess
A mess inside, but it's alright
Been down before, and then no more
I know the ride, not just one side
Don't be alarmed, I am unharmed
I'm just a mess, that's me I guess

~~~G~~~

Can we pretend you're my boyfriend for an hour or two?
Can we hold hands and look happy when I walk next to you?
Then can you tickle my nose, make me laugh till I cry?
And can I stand on my toes as I kiss you good-bye?
Can you text me on your way home to make sure I'm alright?
Can we pretend you're my boyfriend, can we pretend for tonight?

~~~G~~~

Yes, I am okay
Nothing more, nothing less
I prefer this state
To that of nothingness

No, I'm not alright
But okay is good
Between night and light
Hardly understood

Yes, I am okay
That is how I feel
Somewhere on my way
Not the biggest deal

I am not in pain
Nor indifference
I am not insane
Let's see how this ends

~~~G~~~

YOU SUCK.

You suck the life out of me
You're draining my energy
And I don't mind though I should
Your sucking feels just too good

~~~G~~~

I've tasted more lips and more sweat than you
I've broken more hearts than one man should do
I've brought women joy and I've brought them pain
Been first to take off and last to remain

I've dealt with depression, I've dealt with love
I've been on the ground and so high above
You're older, that's true, but that doesn't mean
You've done anything that I haven't seen

~~~G~~~

I won't kiss you, no I won't
It is tempting but I don't
Want to fuck up what you've got
He's the right choice, I am not

~~~G~~~

Oh, you kiss with such heat
And your breath tastes so sweet
Mild aggression, soft bites
As my passion ignites
Secrets inside your pants
Growing inside my hands
So familiar, so new
So unreal what we do
Skin is freed, fabric goes
Now I feel you so close
And your shiver feels right
As I'm sliding inside
Overwhelmed by the heat
As we sway to the beat
Of our hearts and our sighs
Gaining pressure and size
I hold on to your grace
Eyes locked onto your face
Indescribably pleased
As I scream like a beast

~~~G~~~

It's been a while
It's been so bad
Between us now
The things we said

You cut me off
I pushed you out
You were too weak
I was too proud

We're strangers now
Long time no see
I hardly think
Of you and me

But when I do
I must admit
I could still love
You like I did

~~~G~~~

Don't kiss me now
Don't see it through
You will regret it if you do
There's someone waiting at home for you
Right now he seems distant but that's not true
He trusts you and he doesn't have a clue
Believe me, I so want to kiss you too
Tomorrow you'll hate me if I do

~~~G~~~

You are nice to everyone
So they think they have a chance
You don't know what's going on
You don't know about your fans

They all follow you around
Hang on every word you say
Please stop staring at the ground
Lift your head a bit today

~~~G~~~

With smashing brutality
Confronting the enemy
With stunning self-confidence
Maintaining the self-defense
Whoever is wrong or right
These two will keep up the fight
A battle that never ends
No matter who breaks or bends

~~~G~~~

So you don't like me
That's okay
It's not important anyway

I tried my best to
Make things work
It's not my fault that you're a jerk

If that's the way you
Really feel
I can accept that, no big deal

Please just ignore me
Stay away
No need to fight with me today

~~~G~~~

Don't touch me unless you mean it
Don't hug me unless it's from the heart
Don't hide your guilt, I have seen it
Don't do this unless it's from the start

~~~G~~~

Sometimes I need to be alone
And sometimes I can't stand it
I hate to be all on my own
Yet sometimes I demand it

Sometimes it's all too much for me
Sometimes I need some silence
Please try to stay in touch with me
I'll be there when my trial ends

~~~G~~~

Smile, don't let them see the ache
Eat a slice of birthday cake
They prepared a yummy dish
Blow out candles, make a wish
Thank them all and make a toast
Be a nice and grateful host
Think about what lies ahead
As you lie awake in bed
Slowly cry yourself to sleep
Cause the scars just go too deep

~~~G~~~

You don't hear my screams or cries
Make me whisper more good-byes
Seems like I can't make it right
Weakened by the flames inside

You don't recognize my tears
As I'm muted by my fears
Seems like I can't make you see
You pollute my sanity

~~~G~~~

You know the pain so well
Oh yes, you know despair
So many times you fell
And yet you're not aware

Just take a look around
And look at people's eyes
Then tell me what you found
Their smiles are only lies

They know the pain so well
Oh yes, they know despair
They, too, spend life in hell
Please show them that you care

~~~G~~~

Do you think this was it?
Do you think this was all?
No one giving a shit
No one watching you fall

Do you think this was life?
Are you waiting for more?
Intimate with your knife
And the skin that it tore

You remember those jerks
And the way you were mocked
Funny how the knife works
Your room's not even locked

~~~G~~~

A cover of snow turns the gardens white
Reflects like a diamond the rays of light
A magical sparkle lies in the air
IT'S FUCKING COLD OUT THERE!

~~~G~~~

Cold as hell out in the street
Snowflakes fell onto my feet
Waiting here, don't know for what
Same old story, different plot

See some couples walking by
Watch them kiss and wonder why
I'm not kissing anymore
Same old sex but different whore

Cold as hell inside my heart
Wondering when it fell apart
Wondering what I'm living for
Same old exit, different door

~~~G~~~

My tears are not for you
They're for me
There to set me free

I'm crying, yes it's true
Plain to see
Not much secrecy

It's what I want to do
Let me be
Keep my sanity

~~~G~~~

The bridges you burned
Must have been made of wood
I keep telling people
That wood is no good

~~~G~~~

It's been quite a ride and it took us a while
To find in each other a reason to smile
The thing that I want for the rest of my days
Is waking up happy right next to your face

~~~G~~~

So many women told me
I'm the best they ever had
I guess they really meant it
But it makes me kind of sad
That you are not among them
That I couldn't make you stay
You do know what you're missing
But you left it anyway

~~~G~~~

My bed is my shelter
My home through the nights
My witness of endless
Adventures and fights

Through hours of passion
And months of despair
In joy and in sorrow
It's always been there

My bed is my shelter
My bed is my friend
It carries my body
And dreams till the end

~~~G~~~

When my couch feels too big or my life feels too small
When I listen to music alone on the bus
It is not like I miss you; I don't miss you at all
But I can't help the fact that I keep missing us

~~~G~~~

Behold the lonely unicorn
As white as snow when she was born
But now her hair turned black as coal
Because she lost her only foal

~~~G~~~

I'm burning in hell
Not feeling so well
I'm boiling in sweat
And bitter regret
The sinner I've been
Now cooking in steam
Believe it or not
It's really quite hot

~~~G~~~

I gently kiss the V-shaped spot
The skin against my lips is hot
I feel it tremble, and my mouth
Moves slowly on and further south
Where it embraces without haste
This new and yet familiar taste
A sudden shiver, mild vibration
My tongue begins its exploration
And I take in with more aggression
The sweet hot beverage of passion
I gasp for air, I shut my eyes
And listen to those distant sighs
Well known despite the unknown voice
A private song, much more than noise
I know the chorus, know the bridge
The faster beat, the higher pitch
And since it's not a solo song
I start to dance and sing along

~~~G~~~

Your lips are so gentle and sweet
You kiss with such passion and heat
Your breath tastes breathtakingly fine
But the lips that you kiss are not mine

~~~G~~~

THE REACTOR

So we've done it again
Children, women and men
Burned to ashes and dust
Can't unsee but we must
Hardly time to regret
There'll be time to forget
We'll build new factories
We'll have more casualties

~~~G~~~

You tell me everything's okay
That you decided you would stay
But I can see it in your eyes
There's too much fear, it's only lies

You say your mind's made up at last
We'll start again, what's past is past
I nod and smile and kiss your head
It's all been done, it's all been said

~~~G~~~

You say your skin is such a mess
And you look awful in your dress
You say your hair is way too thin
Your heart so scared and dark within

Well, I don't know about your heart
Why not invite me for a start?
I really like your skin and hair
As for the dress, I do not care

My heart is rather scary too
And scarred, and beaten black and blue
Still I hope there's a place for you
Unless we try, it can't come true

~~~G~~~

I dreamed of you the other night
The breeze was calm, the sun was bright
You lay beside me for a while
And gave me the most subtle smile
I ran my fingers through your hair
So soft and long, so bright and fair
You closed your eyes, the smile still there
And I heard blackbirds in the air
It felt as if you'd never gone
The repercussions linger on
Your smile is gone, so is the sun
Some things just can't be made undone

~~~G~~~

Sir Peter did not dare to ask
For help with his unpleasant task
He chose to take the blame alone
While sitting on his lonely throne

~~~G~~~

THE LONELIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD

As so many others walk by
As nobody stops to say Hi
It seems too much effort to cry

~~~G~~~

When I said, "I want to dance in the rain with you"
I didn't mean you should make it rain.
When I said, "I want to walk through the darkness with you"
I didn't mean you should turn off the light.
When I said, "I'll love you till the end of my life"
I didn't mean you should make me feel like my life was over.

~~~G~~~

THE "LOVE ON A SUBWAY TRAIN" COLLECTION

There is a reason why we're here
We both can see it crystal clear
That you and I are both in pain
... so let's make out on a subway train

This tension between me and you
Is so insane and yet so true
And fighting it would be in vain
... so let's make out on a subway train

It's been a while since we had fun
I feel like all is said and done
And few more options do remain
... so let's make out on a subway train

The bitter truth so plain to see
I think we both have to agree
That we should never meet again
... so let's make love on a subway train

~~~G~~~

Are you desperate at night when you're tied to a stranger's bed?
Is it lonely in your life, not a friend that you've not betrayed?
Do you sometimes wish the truth was the first thing that you could say?
Do you wish there was someone you would not have to push away?

All the bodies that you use just to get through another day
All the hearts that you abuse when you suddenly run away
How do you expect to heal when you're barefoot out in the cold?
When you lie and fake and steal, hardly 23 winters old

~~~G~~~

Again it's hard to rest or sleep
The aching in my chest goes deep
Again my clever head denies
Me comfort in believing lies

And after everything I've seen
And after all this time that's been
Whatever future years may bring
I don't owe you a f'cking thing

You ask how I can act so cold
An answer I've already told
Sometimes you have to draw a line
To heal and one fine day be fine

~~~G~~~

Red drop after drop
Falls down on the floor
I wish it would stop
But there's so much more

I'll have to clean up
The things that I break
Damn you, broken cup
Damn strawberry shake

~~~G~~~

We fought for this
You know we did
To hell and back
Such scary rides

Gave all we had
And yet we lost
We fought for this
On different sides

~~~G~~~

For forty days and forty nights
The sobbing princess hid her cries
The one she loved had bought a dress
Too tent-like for her skinniness

~~~G~~~

Miss Marple bought a mobile phone
To feel more loved and less alone
After a most unpleasant call
She threw the damn thing at the wall

~~~G~~~

When Shakespeare ate his apple cake
It led to painful stomache ache
He thus laid down and took a nap
Before he ate a chicken wrap

~~~G~~~

It's painful to hate
The love of my life
If it wasn't for fate
You would now be my wife

It's hard to forget
What I felt for you
But I cannot regret
All the shit we've been through

Too high was the cost
You weren't for me
What we fought for and lost
It was not meant to be

~~~G~~~

You were supposed to dry my tears, no matter who caused them.
You were supposed to hold me, no matter who made me stumble.
You were supposed to love me, no matter what a mess I am.

You caused my tears but you didn't stop them from falling.
You pushed me away but you didn't care to catch me.
You knew me better than anyone and yet not at all.

Fuck you.

~~~G~~~

Hold me
The world is spinning around and I'm dizzy
Kiss me
My lips are trembeling and they need support
Tell me
That you're here to listen and to understand me
Hold me
Make me better

~~~G~~~

Falling in love
Falling so fast
Afraid of the ground
Not sure you will catch me

Falling for you
Falling so high
Not sure I can fly
Not sure I'll survive

~~~G~~~

Come to me
Little Angel
Take off your wings
Then take off mine

Rest with me
Guarding Angel
No chains, no rings
We'll do just fine

~~~G~~~

Promise me nothing
Keep your lips sealed
Around my flesh
Burned first, then healed

Don't speak of sunshine
Embrace the night
All that we need
Grows without light

~~~G~~~

This damn social network knows more about me
Than most of the members of my family
Some things that I posted, I highly regret
Cause I know that Facebook will never forget

The privacy settings get worse every day
They're willingly taking our choices away
The worst thing, however, is that we're so blind
We keep coming back, we just don't seem to mind

~~~G~~~

As long as your face hurts, I'm looking away
You say that's not nice but be that as it may
As long as it's not water under the bridge
I'm looking for comfort inside of my fridge

~~~G~~~

I guess it wasn't meant to be
I guess you weren't sent to me
Let's part and on the count of three
Let's live our lives more happily

~~~G~~~

Approaching from behind
My breath upon your neck
Two hands, one on each side
Are sliding down your back

The very tender touch
Of ten hot fingertips
As they come to a rest
Somewhere above your hips

The goosebumps on your skin
Increase against my tongue
I feel you breathing in
Your heart, not just your lung

~~~G~~~

As the winter approaches
I'm approaching your skin
Not the first that I've tasted
Not the first I've been in

There are many just like you
Some made up and some real
They undress me, caress me
And they help me to feel

Always touched by warm bodies
Always chilled to the bone
Never had so much closeness
Never felt so alone

~~~G~~~

LOVE is more than just three letters
Maybe even more than four
It makes us see what really matters
Till few things matter any more

~~~G~~~

Your silence hurts my ears
As it confirms my fears
Today we've reached the day
When nothing's left to say

You're not the one I knew
I'm not the one you love
So much that we've been through
Too much, yet not enough

Your eyes are blank today
My eyes feel wet and hot
I wish there was a way
I know that there is not

~~~G~~~

Sometimes I do still think of you
You're arrogant and stubborn too
You treated me like no one should
Oh well, at least the sex was good

Your world is different from mine
A visit now and then is fine
I do not mind a night or two
But I could never live with you

I'm one of many you betrayed
I'm one of many who got laid
But when I look at what you do
You never seem to think things through

You broke my heart, you broke my spine
I really wished you would be mine
You were to scared to be with me
But showed me how my life could be

~~~G~~~

Rapid red river
Tear me away
Down through the valley
Nothing must stay

Rapid red river
Flow out of me
Wash my face empty
Into the sea

~~~G~~~

I'm wandering in vicious circles
A never-ending one way street
Step after step, night after sunset
Until my engine's final beat

~~~G~~~

If sex was all I wanted
I'd surely tell you so
I wouldn't mind you leaving
Or ask you where you go

If nights were all I ask for
I'd say so loud and clear
Avoid you in the daylight
Instead of staying near

~~~G~~~

My thoughts are my own
Though I share them with you
I think them myself
You should all try that too

~~~G~~~

Boys are stupid? So are girls.
Tears are shiny? So are pearls.
Love's not easy? Nothing is.
Too much talking? Why not kiss?

He cannot see you? You're too shy.
He might not choose you? Go and try.
Boys have no feelings? I know they do.
Stop judging others. They're just like you.

~~~G~~~

The way I feel
Is no big deal
All wounds will heal
Eventually

And if they stay
It's still okay
It's just the way
It's meant to be

~~~G~~~

After a while, it's the head and not the heart that aches
After a while, one is ready to repeat mistakes
Finally, what is good or bad is not so clear
And you're lost, but it took a while to get you here

~~~G~~~

I tried to lift you up much higher
Than anyone you knew before
Call me a jerk but not a liar
I stood by everything I swore

I tried to give you all you wanted
Ignored what was so plain to see
That for a while you were too daunted
That all you wanted wasn't me

~~~G~~~

Good sex can't be without emotion
Be it love or be it lust
You can't deny we had devotion
Forget about it if you must

You gave me breakfast, gave me kisses
Gave me a headache, I don't know
Which one of us was toy or mistress
And why so soon I had to go

~~~G~~~

The dark outside my window
It can't compete with me
Compete with what's inside me
So dark I cannot see

The cold outside my doorstep
Will fade after the night
The cold in me will stay here
I'm shivering inside

~~~G~~~

If you've got nothing to say
Then say nothing
It tells me the most, anyway
Cause when loving
There's always some nice things to say

~~~G~~~

Lasagna is not just nutrition
For me it is by definition
A dish that's made of meat and joy
And lets me be a happy boy

~~~G~~~

A while ago I realized
Good moments often come disguised
As trivial and simple things
Like songs or films or food or drinks

~~~G~~~

You claim that I'm
Too good for you
Well, thanks a lot
I knew that too

~~~G~~~

I don't believe in privacy
It's just a dream for you and me
A story told to simple minds
A freedom we will never find

Let's not believe in human rights
They've caused too many wars and fights
If no one was allowed to be
We'd all be treated equally

I don't believe in secrecy,
Opinions or democracy
The only powers meant to be
Are money and economy

If you believe I'm too upset
And things like ACTA are no threat
That these new laws mean no assault
Then we're all doomed – and it's your fault!

~~~G~~~

To feel again
And feel so lost
Is in the end
Too high a cost

~~~G~~~

Even the thought of you means pain
Letting you in my life means rain
You are no good but I admit
You gave me more than others did

~~~G~~~

A pitch-black cloud surrounding me.
Inside of me. Defining me.
It's lingering. It will not go.
A part of me. I hate it so.

~~~G~~~

A touch is good
A kiss okay
But if you ask me
I won't stay

The taste of lips
The smell of hair
The warmth of skin
Let's leave it there

~~~G~~~

Too many women tore my heart
It's hard to find a single part
A single piece that isn't scarred
That isn't ripped and torn apart

~~~G~~~

Don't know how far I still can go
Can't see where this is taking me
Don't feel as if this life is real
Can't live when something's gotta give.

~~~G~~~

Everything crumbles
Everything breaks
Everyone stumbles
Everyone aches

~~~G~~~

If you are happy with your guy
Don't listen to what others say
Don't let them push you off your way
Just grin, stay strong and let them try

~~~G~~~

All I savor is sorrow
All I trust in is doubt
All I hear is the silence
And it's screaming so loud

All the truths have been spoken
All opinions discussed
All the rules have been broken
Only fools learn to trust

Oh we burn in the sunlight
Oh we melt in the rain
Peel off layers at midnight
All the prayers in vain

All too soon we get tired
Of the physical joy
That we once so admired
Like a favorite toy

Of the friends that we talk to
Some might know us too well
See the tunnel we walk through
Recognize it as hell

~~~G~~~

I lay alone in this cold bed
The thoughts are rushing through my head
The feelings rushing through my heart
Waiting is the hardest part

~~~G~~~

There's this cloud surrounding me
That no one else can feel or see
It's always there, it's everywhere
A part of me I cannot share

~~~G~~~

If you want a connection
It doesn't make much sense
To focus on protection
And build up your defense

~~~G~~~

It's not about the sex, dear
I'm not just one of those
The reason why I came here
It's all 'bout feeling close

I know you do not love me
Yet in your arms I stay
Your gentle lips upon me
It makes me feel okay

Right now it doesn't matter
If love is out of reach
Be it for worse or better
I won't regret or preach

I'm living in the present
What else is there to do?
The future looks unpleasant
And empty without you

Sex cannot be a bad thing
It makes me feel alright
And I forget my aching
When someone holds me tight

I hope to be forgiven
For things that I regret
Whatever road I've driven
I never will forget

The way this moment lingers
It cannot be a sin
So let me move my fingers
Upon your tender skin

Despite the things I'm missing
And all moralities
With gentle looks and kissing
I truly feel at peace

~~~G~~~

Most people aren't stupid
Though possibly mislead
When you're in search of Cupid
Stop looking in your bed

~~~G~~~

It is a common error
I see it every day
To tell the ones you care for
Their pain will go away

~~~G~~~

Minutes seem like hours
Hours seem like days
Stripped of all my power
I fail to see my way

I'm past the stage of knowing
If I'm the one to blame
Or if this path's worth going
To me it's all the same

I feel so disconnected
All friendships seem unplugged
This was to be expected
It still feels pretty fucked

This cloud of desperation
Is always in the air
The worst discrimination:
Pretending it's not there

Spare me your good advices
Lifes can be changed, I know
Who says that this suffices
To change the way I go

If things were quite that easy
You'd always see me laugh
Life would be bright and cheesy
So full of fun and love

~~~G~~~

And as I fall, the ground moves nearer
My vision of the end gets clearer
You've left me here with nothing left
I'm on my own and what I own
Will crash with me, become debris
As I fall

~~~G~~~

Of those who play the game of lust
Some soar and others fall
If you're afraid to place your trust
You'll never win at all

You were afraid to lose your heart
And thus you had to go
I could have played a bigger part
I guess we'll never know

~~~G~~~

I love pancakes, big and small
Yummy pancakes, bless them all!
Meat or jam or cheese or ham
Just can't get enough of them!

~~~G~~~

It could have worked, but you were scared
We could have worked if you had dared
Now I am just as scared as you
Of which you don't have any clue
Now someone else will have to pay
For what you did to me one day

~~~G~~~

I tried to prove to you that I was worth it
Until you proved to me that you were not
And all this pain, I might just have deserved it
For loving you with all the strength I've got

~~~G~~~

Days go by
And as I sigh
I wonder why
I even try

~~~G~~~

You're like the wind to me
A thing I cannot see
I hardly think that's fair
Stop messing with my hair!

~~~G~~~

You are like the sun
You burn my skin for fun
That's not very nice
I'll have to get some ice

You are like the rain
You wash away my pain
You make my trousers wet
I'm lucky that we met

To me you are like Bing
Not good for anything
As long as Google rules
You're only used by fools

~~~G~~~

And like her favorite butterfly
From flower to flower she flew
A life of briefly passing by
Was all she ever knew

~~~G~~~

It moves me when I read your name
Sometimes toward joy
Sometimes toward pain

~~~G~~~

I left my comfy bed too soon.
I'd love to stay there until noon.
Or eat Nutella with a spoon.

~~~G~~~

If smiles can't hide the way I feel
Then grins might do the trick
I may not be a man of steel
But God knows I'm not thick

~~~G~~~

When something's over, people tend to
Get rid of every memento.
Deleting pictures works, but still
Deleting people never will

~~~G~~~

My mind is not the safest place
My heartbeat seems to run a race
Lost my emotions in this maze
I miss your grace

It felt so right, how could I fail?
Why must my eagerness prevail?
I tried to make you see my ail
Please check your mail